Li Wei woke up.
Wet.
Cold.
And smelling faintly of chlorine and bad life choices.
He cracked open his eyes.
The stars stared back, cold and judgy.
Definitely not his dorm room ceiling, which had a water stain that looked vaguely like a sad potato.
**
He sat up with the grace of a tranquilized bear.
Water cascaded off his cheap hoodie.
He was in a fountain.
A very large, very public fountain.
In the middle of the university plaza.
It was 3 AM.
Bro.
**
He fumbled for his phone, his fingers numb and clumsy.
The screen lit up, a tiny beacon of hope in his watery, self-inflicted hell.
47 missed calls.
All from his roommate, Chen.
And one text message.
He squinted, the water blurring the words into an ominous smear.
The triads are looking for you, RUN!
**
Li Wei blinked.
He read it again, just to be sure his brain wasn't glitching.
Triads.
As in, the gangsters? The ones with sick tattoos and a blatant disregard for property law?
Why would they be looking for him?
His most criminal act to date was accidentally returning a library book three weeks late. And he felt really bad about it.
**
He stumbled away from the plaza, a shivering, dripping monument to poor decision-making.
The back alleys of the university district were a maze of shadows and overflowing dumpsters.
It smelled like stale beer and broken dreams.
He felt right at home.
Something caught his eye near a pile of discarded takeout containers.
His backpack.
Thank the gods.
He snatched it up. It felt heavier than he remembered.
He unzipped it, hoping to find his wallet.
Instead, he found books.
So. Many. Books.
Advanced Quantum Mechanics.
Theoretical Calculus: Volume IV.
Principles of Multidimensional Algebraic Geometry.
What the hell?
He was a history major.
He did words. Not... whatever the hell this nerd bible was.
He was about to yeet the whole thing back into the trash heap it came from.
Then a voice cut through the alley's gross silence.
"There he is."
**
Up above, hidden in the shadows of the library roof, Feng Yue sighed.
Her phoenix cloak shimmered, absorbing the moonlight.
She'd been tracking this idiot for three days.
Three days of watching him trip into traffic, accidentally insult professors, and somehow survive on a diet of instant noodles and pure, unadulterated luck.
This was the "anomaly" her master had sent her to find?
This walking disaster?
She watched as three thugs cornered him.
Her hand rested on the hilt of her sword.
This should be interesting.
Or pathetic.
Probably pathetic.
**
"You've been a hard man to find," the leader said, cracking his knuckles in a way that sounded expensive.
Li Wei's brain went completely, utterly blank.
He held up the backpack.
"Is this yours? I think there was a mix-up."
Feng Yue almost fell off the roof.
He was going to get himself killed.
**
"The formula," the thug growled, pulling a knife. "Give us the formula."
Li Wei's hands shot up.
"I really, really have no idea what you're talking about," he squeaked. "I have my lunch money?"
The leader lunged.
Li Wei screamed like a goat being tasered.
Tripped on his own feet.
And hit the floor with the grace of a potato.
He landed backward in a pile of trash.
Feng Yue prepared to intervene.
This was just sad.
**
The blade descended.
Terror flooded Li Wei's face. Pure, absolute, this-is-it terror.
And then.
Something changed.
Feng Yue's breath hitched.
Her eyes, burning with phoenix fire, saw it clearly.
The idiot's pupils constricted.
And bloomed with gold.
Fractals.
Glowing, impossible math swirled in his eyes like a code of reality itself.
"No way," she whispered.
**
The fear vanished from Li Wei's face.
Replaced by a cold, chilling calm.
"Probability of survival," he murmured, his voice suddenly deep and toneless, "0.001%."
His hand, no longer flailing, shot out and grabbed a discarded soda can.
"Recalibrating."
He threw it.
The can ricocheted off a wall, then a pipe, then the back of the leader's head.
The man crumpled.
The other two thugs stared, jaws slack.
This new Li Wei rose to his feet.
No stumbling.
Just an unnerving, perfect stillness.
"Threat one neutralized," he stated.
The remaining two charged.
He simply raised a hand.
Glowing golden equations wove themselves into the air.
"Solving for x," he murmured, "where x equals your immediate and total disintegration."
He pushed his hand forward.
The equations passed through the men.
And they dissolved into dust.
**
Silence.
The golden light in Li Wei's eyes faded.
He blinked.
He looked at the dust.
He looked at the unconscious man.
He looked at his own hands.
"...Bro. What the hell just happened?"
**
[DING!]
Quest Unlocked: Survive Your Own Stupidity (Somehow) Reward: One (1) Spicy Tofu Penalty: Continued Existence
**
A smoky, ancient, and deeply unimpressed voice echoed in Li Wei's mind.
"You absolute moron. You just solved a triad problem with quantum physics. The heavens are watching. And laughing."
**
Li Wei looked around, his face a mask of pure confusion.
He whispered to no one in particular.
"...Wait. Who the hell said that?"
**
Feng Yue dropped from the rooftop like a drama queen in heat.
Cloak flaring.
Eyes burning.
The idiot looked up.
His mouth was slightly open.
A perfect picture of cluelessness.
She pointed a finger at him, a single flame dancing on its tip.
"Who are you?"
**
Li Wei blinked.
He looked at the dust.
He looked at the terrifyingly beautiful woman who just appeared out of nowhere.
He thought about the voice in his head.
Then he said, with all the confidence of a man who had no idea what the hell was happening—
"...Delivery guy?"
**
The flame on her finger grew hotter.
He raised both hands.
"Okay but like, do I still get the tofu reward?"
**
Feng Yue screamed internally.
The heavens screamed externally.
And somewhere deep inside Li Wei's brain…
A very tired genius woke up and said:
"Oh no. Not again."
📣 [SYSTEM NOTICE: AUTHOR SUPPORT INTERFACE]
Did this chapter bless your braincell or ruin your will to live (in a good way)?Drop a comment or throw a power stone — it's like XP for my soul.