Time: 5:00 a.m.
Either too early or too late, at such hours you yourself won't understand where you are, at the end of yesterday or at the beginning of today.
The rain, which had been noisy and thundering all night, finally got tired, leaving behind only stubborn drops, as if forgotten in farewell. The sun, as before, did not come. And will not come. Not on such a day. The morning again turned out grey, dim. The wind rustled the leaves, as if trying to wake someone up. Or maybe, the opposite.
The landscape was so dreary that it created a sensation, it was painted by an artist who had only one color left on his palette, grey. He smeared it on the canvas without inspiration, without an idea, simply because he didn't know what else to do.
The results of the voting.
Ah, yes, voting. A wonderful form of democratic betrayal.
They threw me out. Cold-bloodedly, unanimously, as if I were something... superfluous. Like dust that got in the eyes. Like crumbs on a tablecloth that are simply brushed into a bin.
The murderer could have been anyone. Anyone. At all. Yahweh, yes, please. Hov, no problem. Tiamut, even now. The servant, why not. Kamiki... that one especially. And for Aragi the main suspect was the witch. Of course, for everyone there is their own witch.
But, despite that, despite the fact that anyone could be guilty, they decided: Enua.
How convenient. To expand the circle of suspects? Why. It's much simpler to fixate on the one who can resist the least.
Me.
Hello, my name is Scapegoat, nice to meet you.
Although, perhaps, this is unavoidable.
We all came here with different goals, different fates, different traumas. What united us? The game? The lie? Or the fact that in this place everyone had something to lose?
We weren't arguing for the truth, we were fighting for the chance to be heard. But words mean nothing if your voice is quieter than a gunshot.
Power, that's the only currency in this coordinate system. Right is the one who has a way to impose their truth.
So said the one to whom I entrusted half the sky.
Time: 5:20.
I'm still standing in the rain. Or rather under its echo. The cold clings to the skin, water streams down my face, as if I'm crying without tears. But I have nothing to cry with. Everything has dried up inside.
Time: 6:30.
The sun? No. The sky, the same foggy mush. I realized, it won't be a good day. Good days don't happen at all, if you're not originally among them.
Time: 6:50.
I'm still here. Near the mansion. Like a thrown-out thing that was left lying near the trash can.
To go into the forest? Why? I'm not an animal. Although... am I not?
There's no food. No water. They, it seems, didn't even try to leave me a chance. Let him croak outside the window, at least not in front of our eyes.
Time: 7:10.
The wind hasn't subsided.
The rain hasn't left.
I haven't either.
My clothes are stuck to my body. The cold is gnawing at my bones. And I think, can I get sick?
Can I die from the cold? From hunger? From loneliness?
What kind of god am I now, if I feel like a human?
We were all deprived of our powers when we arrived on the island. So willed she, the witch. She wanted us to suffer equally.
Time: 7:30.
Made a decision. I will go into the forest.
If I don't find food, then perhaps I will find at least something that will dull the sensation of humiliation.
I walked about 300 meters from the mansion. Maybe more. It's now hidden by trees, as if the island itself is trying to forget about my existence.
Every bush, every trunk, I studied them like cursed scrolls. But nothing. No berry, no mushroom. Nothing that could say "you are still needed". If I were my former self, for such humiliation I would have killed myself without hesitation.
Time: 7:50.
How much time has already passed?
How much more will pass? I've become like a lost animal that doesn't know where to go. Where is my flock, if I am a god?
The words spoken in my defense convinced no one. Because... everyone wanted to blame me.
And if so, then any logic is superfluous.
You were not witnesses.
You did not see.
You did not know.
You did not feel!
I am the only one who saw the truth.
My eyes are clear.
My heart does not tremble.
My mind is sharp.
But you... You chose a convenient enemy.
I hate.
I hate.
I hate.
I sat down under a tree. Leaned my back against it, closed my eyes.
And laughed.
Ah… hah…
Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha…
Ghah-hah-ghhah-hah… ha-ha… ha…
Let the laughter be my armor. Let the laughter be my last strength.
Don't show pain. Don't give up. Don't let them stand above you. Even if you are sitting on the ground.
Such is the path. Such is my choice. Such is the fate of those who once received the power to rule others'lives.
And if this fate is unjust… I refuse to accept it.