Chapter 34: The Boys' Kitchen
[May 22nd, after school.]
[You accidentally avoided a disaster called "Shurafield."]
[And what awaits you next, is the retake exam for Home Economics.]
After school, in the Home Economics classroom.
Mochizuki Eikou and the other male students each tied on their aprons, put on chef hats, carried fresh ingredients just bought from the shopping mall, and strode toward the classroom with determination.
"My brothers, today is the day we wash away our shame!"
Eikou said with his hands on his hips.
"The midterm exams are right around the corner, and we're still stuck on the make-up test for our elective class... No matter what, today we must pass this retake, then put all our energy into studying! Exams, battle, glory!"
"Cooking, glory!"
The two Round Table Knights wearing aprons raised their hands and shouted loudly together.
Beside them, Oberon let out a small sigh, still seemingly lamenting the 5000QP prize money he lost yesterday.
After pumping themselves up, the four of them marched boldly into the Home Economics classroom.
"Charge!"
Eikou, full of fighting spirit, kicked open the door.
Inside the spacious room, the first thing that met his eyes — was a muscular blond man, completely naked.
"Roland, it's you again..."
Eikou looked at the blond, blue-eyed musclehead and sighed helplessly.
"Aha, isn't it Eikou!"
Knight Roland waved at him enthusiastically.
Standing beside Roland was a pink-haired femboy and another young man with a bright, upright, and serious face — like a hero straight out of an ancient tale.
It was Astolfo and Charlemagne.
"Haha, you guys are here for the retake too?"
Charlemagne said with a laugh upon seeing them.
"I thought only us from the Twelve Paladins got stuck retaking the exam, didn't expect your Eikou team to be here too. What a strange twist of fate, huh."
"I didn't expect to see you guys here either," Eikou said. "After all, you're the elite force of the France class, right? Don't tell me you're that bad at Home Economics?"
"How could that be! We've been working hard for a perfect score this time. A few days ago, we even developed a French-style raw seafood dish. When it was plated, I looked super handsome, you know!"
Charlemagne boasted confidently, flashing his dazzlingly white teeth.
"Then why did you still fail?"
"Don't ask," he replied with a helpless expression, pointing at the completely naked Roland. "It's because this guy didn't wear clothes. That idiot Astolfo mistook one of his body parts for a 'geoduck,' plated it, and served it to the judges. It was a total disaster."
How could anyone make that mistake!? Did Astolfo's rationality really evaporate that far!?
"That really scared the hell out of me," Roland said, still trembling from the memory.
"Seeing a naked blond man served straight onto the table, the ones who should've been scared to death were the judges," Eikou sighed. "It's a miracle you guys only failed the exam and didn't get expelled..."
"That's exactly why we have to wash away this grudge! Vengeance will be mine!"
Charlemagne, fired up, drew a knife from the rack with the intensity of drawing one of the twelve Holy Swords.
Roland and Astolfo — those two idiot knights — immediately stood close beside him in solidarity.
"As Charlemagne's Twelve Paladins, something as trivial as cooking is nothing to us!"
"Do whatever you want, but can you at least tell Roland to stop letting his 'geoduck' swing around everywhere?"
Eikou thought to himself that he really didn't want to cook while staring at a naked man's body — he'd go blind.
Pointing at Roland beside him, he hurriedly said:
"Roland, this is the kitchen, I suggest you put some clothes on… Otherwise, if you get splashed by hot oil or cut by a knife, that'll be trouble."
Roland pondered for a moment, his expression turning serious: "You're right, I'll put something on right now!"
Then, with quick movements, he threw an apron over himself.
"All dressed!"
"?"
Don't tell me you're not wearing anything under that apron!? That's even more blinding! I don't want to look at a naked guy wearing only an apron!
"Damn it, what kind of sin did I commit in my past life to end up in this exam room…"
Eikou covered his face, then turned to Charlemagne,
"Charlemagne, can you please keep your subordinate in check? Wearing an apron like that is wrong!"
"Indeed, so you've noticed it too,"
Charlemagne pointed at his subordinate's nose and scolded sternly,
"Roland, I've told you countless times — wearing an apron like that is wrong. If you're going to wear it, then wear it properly!"
Yes, that's right, tell him how to wear it properly! Say it already!
"When you wear an apron, make sure to tie it tight, or the wind might blow it open."
Charlemagne pointed at the loose knot behind the apron.
"You're right, I was careless," Roland nodded.
Charlemagne, are you brain-dead too!? Besides the apron string, can't you see there's a much more obvious problem here!?
Alright, whatever, better just ignore this bunch of idiots.
"Now that I think about it..."
Eikou glanced around the spacious Home Economics classroom.
The Home Ec teacher was nowhere to be seen, nor were there any exam proctors.
Sitting in the judge's seat was only a Shinji-kun unit, the kitchen garbage collector, completely unarmed.
"Hey, where are the teachers?"
Eikou looked around the room suspiciously.
"This week's the intensive study week, so all the teachers are busy with lessons and don't have time to proctor exams."
Charlemagne explained, then pointed toward the Shinji-kun sitting in the judge's seat:
"So, Babbage-sensei remodeled a Shinji-kun so that it can taste the dishes we make and assign scores accordingly. It's our examiner."
"What, using a garbage-collecting robot as a food judge? That's downright insulting," Tristan couldn't help but say.
"It's fine," Eikou shrugged nonchalantly, "we even brought Gawain along. Not sure who's insulting who at this point."
"Let me try it out first..."
Oberon took out a lettuce from his ingredient bag and tossed it to Shinji-kun.
Shinji-kun opened its mouth, swallowed the lettuce whole, and then its score panel lit up.
"Evaluation… 4 mashed potato!"
"So that's how it works..."
Oberon pondered and analyzed,
"Gawain's mashed potato must be the basic unit for measuring taste. From what I can tell, if we can make something that scores 60 mashed potato, we'll pass. Probably?"
"Why the hell does plain, unseasoned lettuce score higher than Gawain's mashed potato!? Even the robot hates that dish, that's how cursed it is!"