Chapter 1: The Totally Original, Not-Overdone, Never-Been-Done 'I Don't Recognize You' Plot
One random Tuesday. Coffee shop. Somewhere with too many oat milk options.
Emily, a certified Common Gir with a strong addiction to iced lattes and an even stronger addiction to pretending she reads books she only buys for the aesthetic, was having a Day.
She had just spilled half her drink on her overpriced canvas tote that said "BOOKS. COFFEE. EXISTENTIAL DREAD." Her phone was at 3%, her AirPods were mysteriously missing their case, and someone on Instagram had just soft-launched their engagement using her ex.
So naturally, she stormed into the café like a woman on a mission: to get caffeine and possibly burn down capitalism with her glares.
She made a beeline for the counter, only to slam directly into a Very Tall Guy wearing sunglasses indoors. I repeat very tall guy.
Emily: "Ow. Watch it, sunglasses-at-night."
Tall Guy: "Sorry! Are you okay?"
Emily (grumpy): "Physically? Yes. Emotionally? Absolutely not. But that's not your problem, Famous Guy Cosplaying as Normal."
Tall Guy (laughing): "Famous? You think I'm famous?"
He smiled. It was the kind of smile that made you question your life decisions, your future, and whether or not you needed to update your dating app standards.
Emily: "Please. You've got the whole 'I'm famous but I pretend to be chill so people don't mob me while I order cold brew' vibe. Are you a model? Or like… one of those SoundCloud DJs who only wears linen?"
Tall Guy: "I'm… actually just an actor."
Emily (snorting): "Wow, groundbreaking. You and everyone else within a 12-mile radius."
At this point, half the café was trying not to stare while awkwardly whispering, clutching their phones like they were holding secret nuclear codes.
Barista (whispering to the other): "Oh my god, is that Jason Rook? Like, from Vampires of Venice?"
Other Barista: "YES. HE'S EVEN HOTTER IN PERSON. I THINK I'M PREGNANT NOW."
Meanwhile, Emily was digging through her tote for a chapstick that definitely didn't exist, still completely unimpressed.
Emily: "So what are you in, then? An indie film about depression and soup? Or like, a Netflix rom-com where you have a dog and trauma?"
Jason (grinning): "Close. I did a drama. I played a vampire lawyer."
Emily: "Pfft. Okay, Edward Esquire."
Jason actually laughed at that. Like, laughed. The kind that made the room warmer and at least three old ladies gasp into their scones.
Jason: "That's good. You're funny."
Emily (mock bowing): "Thank you. I charge $5 per joke and $20 for emotionally distant banter."
He extended his hand, clearly enjoying this.
Jason: "I'm Jason, by the way."
(Ps. Reminds me of Jason drruullaaa, i don't understand, lmao)
Emily (shaking it): "Emily. By the way, I'm still not convinced you're famous. You could just be really confident and tall. Which, I admit, is half the battle in Hollywood."
Jason leaned in slightly, lowering his sunglasses for a second—revealing the very eyes that had haunted millions of teen girls and at least one mom Facebook group.
Jason: "Google me when you get home. I promise I'm real."
Emily: "If you say 'I'm big in Germany,' I will throw this muffin at you."
The barista called out "Jason Rook, cold brew for Jason Rook!" just as three teenage girls in the corner audibly screamed.
Emily (squinting): "...wait."
Jason: "Yeah?"
Emily: "...Did you sparkle in Season 2 or was that just bad lighting?"
Jason took his coffee, winked, and said:
Jason: "Guess you'll have to find out, Emily."
He walked out like he was in slow motion, leaving behind a room full of swooning customers, a barista hyperventilating into a paper bag, and one very stunned Common Girl.
Emily (to herself): "...Typical."