The volleyball team was in the middle of practicing serves when Kenji's phone buzzed with what had to be the tenth text from Agent Sato that afternoon. He'd been trying to ignore them, but the persistent buzzing was starting to affect his concentration.
"Takahashi-senpai," called out Kimura, the team captain, "you seem distracted today. Everything okay?"
"Just thinking about the upcoming tournament," Kenji lied smoothly.
"That's what I like to hear! Dedication to the team!"
Coach Nakamura blew his whistle. "Alright, everyone, gather around! I've got some news about the prefecture tournament!"
The team clustered around their coach with the eager energy of teenagers who genuinely believed they could conquer the world through the power of teamwork and determination. Kenji found their enthusiasm both endearing and exhausting.
"The good news is, we've been seeded fourth in our bracket thanks to our recent practice performances," Coach Nakamura announced. "The challenging news is, we'll be facing Tokugawa High in the first round."
A collective groan went up from the team.
"They won the prefecture championship last year," Kimura explained to Kenji. "They're really good."
"How good?" Kenji asked.
"Their setter is being scouted by university teams," replied a second-year player. "And their ace spiker has never been shut out in a match."
"Well," Kenji said, falling back on twenty years of experience motivating teams in high-stress situations, "being the underdog has its advantages. They'll be overconfident, expecting an easy win. That's when teams make mistakes."
The team stared at him with something approaching reverence.
"Takahashi-senpai is right!" exclaimed a first-year. "We can use their expectations against them!"
"You sound like you've really studied competitive strategy," Coach Nakamura observed. "Have you played in tournaments before?"
"A few," Kenji replied, which was technically true if you counted the underground fighting tournaments he'd infiltrated for various missions.
"It shows. You have the mindset of a real competitor."
After practice ended, Kenji was packing up his gear when several team members approached him.
"Takahashi-senpai," said one of the second-years, "some of us are going to karaoke to celebrate making the tournament. Want to come?"
The invitation was innocent enough, but Kenji could picture the headlines: "Forty-Year-Old Agent Arrested at Karaoke with Minors." His career would be over before the pudding investigation even began.
"Thanks, but I have drama club rehearsal," he replied.
"Oh right! You're Romeo! That's so cool!"
"We'll all come to see the play!" another player chimed in.
"Please don't," Kenji said quickly, then added, "I mean, I'll probably be terrible."
"No way! You're good at everything!"
As the team dispersed, Kenji finally had a chance to check his phone. Agent Sato had sent increasingly frantic messages:
"Where are you?"
"We need to talk NOW."
"I found something about the pudding situation."
"KENJI."
"If you don't respond I'm going to blow our cover and drag you out of whatever teenage activity you're participating in."
Kenji quickly typed back: "On my way. Drama room in 5 minutes."
He found Agent Sato lurking outside the drama classroom, trying to look like she had legitimate teacher business in that hallway. She grabbed his arm the moment she saw him.
"We have a problem," she said in a low voice.
"Bigger than me accidentally becoming the star of the school play?"
"Yes. I think the pudding conspiracy is real."
Kenji blinked. "You're serious?"
"I've been investigating the school's purchasing records. They order an unusual amount of pudding mix. And not just any pudding—specifically imported gellan gum, which is used in high-end pudding production."
"Maybe they just really like pudding?"
"Kenji, they ordered seventeen different types of pudding-related ingredients last month. And get this—the orders are all placed by the same person."
"Who?"
"The school nurse."
They looked at each other for a moment.
"The school nurse is part of the International Pudding Cartel," Kenji said slowly.
"It appears so."
"Our boss was actually right about something."
"I know. I'm as shocked as you are."
"So what's the plan?"
"We need to investigate the nurse's office. But there's a problem."
"What kind of problem?"
"She's apparently developed a crush on you."
Kenji felt his blood pressure spike. "I'm sorry, what?"
"Word in the faculty room is that Nurse Yamada thinks you're 'a very handsome and mature young man' and she's been asking the other teachers about you."
"How old is the school nurse?"
"Twenty-six."
"Oh no."
"Oh yes. And she's been asking when you might need to visit the nurse's office."
"This mission is cursed."
"Takahashi-kun!" The drama club president's voice echoed down the hallway. "There you are! We're ready to start rehearsal!"
Agent Sato gave him a sympathetic look. "Good luck with Romeo. We'll figure out the nurse situation tomorrow."
"Wait, don't leave me—"
But Sato had already disappeared around the corner, leaving Kenji to face the drama club alone.
The rehearsal was exactly as awkward as he'd expected. Standing on the makeshift stage opposite Hana, who was gazing up at him with the kind of theatrical adoration that made his skin crawl, Kenji tried to channel his inner actor while suppressing his inner adult.
"Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?" Hana recited with genuine passion.
"Right here," Kenji replied, which wasn't the correct line but seemed appropriate given the circumstances.
"That's not the script, Takahashi-kun," the club president called out.
"Sorry. I'm still learning."
"It's okay! Let's try again from the top!"
Twenty minutes later, Kenji had successfully delivered several romantic monologues to a sixteen-year-old girl while a room full of teenagers praised his "natural chemistry" and "mature interpretation" of the character. He felt like he needed a shower and possibly therapy.
"You're really good at this!" Hana said during a break. "Have you acted before?"
"Not really," Kenji replied, which was true if you didn't count the fact that his entire current existence was an act.
"You're so natural! And you make Romeo seem so... experienced. Like he really understands love."
"I think Romeo is supposed to be young and impulsive."
"But your Romeo is different! More sophisticated! Like he's lived through real heartbreak!"
Kenji wondered if there was a polite way to explain that he had, in fact, lived through real heartbreak, several times, and was currently experiencing a very different kind of emotional trauma.
"Maybe we should stick to the traditional interpretation," he suggested.
"No way! Your version is so much better! It makes Juliet's attraction more believable!"
After rehearsal, Kenji walked home through the darkening streets, still in his school uniform, carrying a volleyball bag and a Romeo script. Students from Sakura High School waved at him from convenience stores and train stations, treating him like he'd been part of their world forever.
His phone buzzed with a text from Agent Sato: "How was Romeo practice?"
"Traumatic. How was teacher stuff?"
"Also traumatic. The other teachers keep asking me about my 'mature younger brother.'"
"We're going to get caught."
"Probably. But at least we'll go down investigating a pudding conspiracy. There are worse ways to end a career."
"Are there, though?"
"Good point. Get some sleep. Tomorrow we investigate the nurse."
Kenji pocketed his phone and continued walking home, wondering how his life had become a situation where texting about investigating a potentially criminal school nurse was the most normal part of his day.