Tuesday morning arrived with all the subtlety of a hurricane. Kenji had spent the previous evening researching volleyball strategies and completing calculus homework—two activities that seemed equally surreal for someone his age. He'd also practiced looking seventeen in the mirror, which was about as successful as it sounded.
The morning started normally enough. Yuki waved at him enthusiastically during homeroom, several classmates complimented his "mature" appearance, and he successfully answered a question about World War II with what he hoped sounded like textbook knowledge rather than personal memory.
It was during lunch break that things went sideways.
"Takahashi-kun!" A girl with elaborate braids and the kind of dramatic flair that suggested extensive theater training approached his desk. "I'm Suzuki Akira from the Drama Club!"
"Nice to meet you," Kenji replied cautiously.
"We've heard about your... presence. Your commanding aura! Your natural charisma!"
"My what now?"
"The way you carry yourself! So confident, so mature! We absolutely must have you audition for our spring production!"
Before Kenji could protest, Suzuki had grabbed his arm and was practically dragging him toward the door. "Come on! Just a quick audition! The club president insists!"
"I really don't think—"
"Nonsense! You're perfect for the lead role!"
Kenji found himself being escorted through the hallways by an enthusiastic theater student while other students watched with interest. He caught a glimpse of Agent Sato through the window of the faculty room, who took one look at the situation and buried her face in her hands.
The drama club met in a large classroom that had been converted into a makeshift theater space. About twenty students were gathered in a circle, with scripts scattered around and the general energy of people who took their craft very seriously.
"Everyone!" Suzuki announced. "This is Takahashi Kenji, the transfer student I told you about!"
A girl with short purple hair who appeared to be the club president looked Kenji up and down with the intensity of a casting director. "Yes," she said slowly, "I can see it. The gravitas. The natural authority. You're perfect for Romeo!"
"Romeo?" Kenji's voice cracked slightly.
"Our spring production of Romeo and Juliet! We've been looking for someone with the right maturity to handle the role, and you're exactly what we need!"
"I'm really not an actor."
"That's what makes you perfect! No bad habits to unlearn! Just raw, natural talent!"
Before Kenji could escape, he found himself holding a script and standing opposite a petite girl with long blonde hair who couldn't have been more than sixteen.
"This is Watanabe Hana," the club president explained. "She's playing Juliet. Let's see how you two look together!"
Kenji stared at the script in horror. The scene they wanted him to read was the balcony scene. The romantic balcony scene. Between Romeo and Juliet. Who were teenagers.
"I really don't think this is appropriate," he said.
"Don't be nervous!" Hana said sweetly. "It's just acting!"
"Right, but the age difference—"
"What age difference? We're both in high school!"
Kenji looked around the room at twenty expectant faces and realized he was trapped. If he refused to read the scene, he'd have to explain why, which would blow his cover. If he performed it, he'd be a forty-year-old man doing romantic scenes with actual teenagers.
"Maybe we could start with a different scene?" he suggested desperately.
"The balcony scene is perfect for chemistry testing!" the club president insisted. "Don't worry, Takahashi-kun, just be natural!"
Kenji looked down at the script, then at Hana, who was smiling encouragingly. Every instinct he'd developed over twenty years of undercover work was screaming at him to abort the mission, but somehow he found himself clearing his throat.
"But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?" he began, his voice carrying the kind of gravitas that came from actual life experience. "It is the east, and Juliet is the sun."
The room fell completely silent. Kenji's delivery had the weight of someone who'd actually experienced loss, love, and the passage of time. It was, objectively, a very good reading of Romeo.
"Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon," he continued, getting caught up in the rhythm of the language, "who is already sick and pale with grief..."
When he finished the excerpt, the drama club was staring at him with something approaching awe.
"That was..." the club president whispered, "incredible."
"So mature!" Suzuki exclaimed. "So full of emotion!"
"It's like you really understand the character!" Hana added, looking up at him with admiration that made Kenji deeply uncomfortable.
"It's just... reading," Kenji said weakly.
"No, it's more than that! You have this depth, this understanding of love and loss that most people our age don't have!"
"Most seventeen-year-olds haven't experienced real heartbreak," added another club member. "But you speak like someone who's lived through it!"
Kenji wanted to point out that most seventeen-year-olds also hadn't been married, divorced, and had their hearts broken by various undercover assignments gone wrong, but that seemed counterproductive.
"So you'll do it?" the club president asked eagerly. "You'll be our Romeo?"
"I really don't think—"
"Please!" Hana clasped her hands together. "We need someone with your... maturity. Most of the boys in school are too immature for Shakespeare!"
"They giggle during the romantic scenes," Suzuki added. "But you take it seriously! Like a real actor!"
"I take everything seriously. It's a character flaw."
"It's not a flaw! It's perfect for the role!"
Before Kenji could mount another protest, the club president was pressing a full script into his hands and explaining the rehearsal schedule. Somehow, in the span of twenty minutes, he'd gone from eating lunch to being the lead in the school play.
"Rehearsals are every day after school," she explained, "except when you have volleyball practice. We'll work around your sports schedule."
"How did you know about volleyball?"
"Everyone knows! You're quite famous already, Takahashi-kun. The mysterious transfer student who's good at everything!"
"I'm not good at everything."
"Modest too! That's so attractive in a leading man!"
Kenji felt his eye begin to twitch.
The rest of the lunch period was spent discussing staging, costume fittings, and character motivation. The drama club treated him like a professional actor, asking for his input on interpretation and delivery. It was flattering and terrifying in equal measure.
"I think Romeo should be played with more gravitas than usual," the club president mused. "Most productions make him too young and impulsive."
"Right," Kenji agreed, "because real love requires maturity and understanding."
"Exactly! You get it! This is why you're perfect for the role!"
When the bell rang signaling the end of lunch, Kenji found himself walking back to class with a script, a rehearsal schedule, and a growing sense that his life was spiraling completely out of control.
"Takahashi-kun!" Yuki called out as he entered the classroom. "I heard you joined the drama club! You're Romeo!"
"Word travels fast."
"This is so exciting! You're going to be amazing! Very romantic!"
"It's just acting."
"But still! You'll be on stage, being all dramatic and passionate! I can't wait to see it!"
Kenji slumped into his seat, wondering how he'd managed to accumulate so many extracurricular activities in just two days. He was on the volleyball team, in the drama club, apparently being considered for student council, and still hadn't made any progress on the pudding investigation.
His phone buzzed with a text from Agent Sato: "I heard you're Romeo now. This situation is completely out of control."
He texted back: "How did you hear about that already?"
"The entire faculty is talking about it. Apparently you're 'surprisingly mature' for a student. They're all very impressed."
"Great. Just great."
"We need to talk after school. Before your rehearsal."
"How do you know about my rehearsal?"
"I'm your English teacher. I know everything about my students' activities. It's creepy but apparently normal."
Kenji put his phone away and stared at the blackboard, where their actual teacher was explaining something about classical literature. The irony wasn't lost on him that he was sitting in a classroom learning about Romeo and Juliet while preparing to perform Romeo and Juliet with actual teenagers who thought he was their age.
"Takahashi-kun," the teacher called out, "since you've just joined the drama club, perhaps you can tell us what you think Romeo's motivation is in the balcony scene?"
Every eye in the classroom turned to him. Kenji felt like he was being tested by the universe.
"I think," he said carefully, "Romeo is driven by genuine emotion, but his youth makes him act impulsively. He's experiencing real feelings but doesn't have the life experience to handle them maturely."
The classroom was quiet for a moment.
"That's... a very sophisticated interpretation," the teacher said. "Very mature thinking."
"He's so smart!" whispered one of his classmates.
"Like he really understands adult emotions!" added another.
Kenji put his head down on his desk and wondered if there was a way to request a transfer to a different reality.