"Let's team up."
"...Huh?" ×5
When Zunzun uttered these words, the five people present stared at him in surprise.
Human ability has its limits.
Zunzun had learned one thing during his brief adventuring career: the more you believe in yourself, the more you realize that human ability has its limits—unless you surpass those limits… or achieve infinite resurrection.
Teaming up with Aqua was a carefully considered decision.
His ultimate goal was to defeat the Demon King. But a Dullahan—a Demon King general who already understood all the mechanics and counters—had still managed to trip him up.
You could argue that Zunzun was careless and didn't dodge, but who's to say he wouldn't suffer the same fate next time, if he encountered a more observant Demon King general?
Goddess Eris was kind, but very by-the-book. How many more times could she help him circumvent heavenly rules and resurrect him in secret?
But with Aqua, things were different.
This arrogant, foolish goddess held such a high celestial rank that even Goddess Eris had to accommodate her. She could bend heavenly rules at will and grant unlimited resurrections—anywhere, anytime. No cooldown. No cost. No limit. A mobile resurrection system.
Is unlimited resurrection a big deal?
Sorry, it's a very big deal.
Besides, Aqua was a High Priestess—an undead, ghost, and demon-slaying specialist. She filled in for all the problems Zunzun and the others couldn't handle.
He had considered teaming up with Mitsurugi Kyouya, but, well…
Mitsurugi was a traditionalist.
He'd insist on forming a balanced six-person party. He'd never approve of something like three Arch Wizards in the same group, especially not with Megumin, the problem child who only used Explosion Magic. No way she'd make the cut.
Satou Kazuma and his crew, though, were different.
Having hit rock bottom, any direction they moved was technically up. So they'd definitely agree to new teammates joining.
"With all that said, let's team up."
"Wait a minute! You haven't even explained anything! How can you say 'with all that said'?!"
Satou Kazuma slammed his hands on the table.
Aqua tugged excitedly at his sleeve, shouting, "Team up! We're teaming up, Kazuma!"
"Yes, I'm Kazuma."
"Now our team finally has a high-level Arch Wizard! In fact, three of them!"
"Indeed..."
If you asked Satou Kazuma whether he was happy, the answer was undeniably yes.
After all, he and the Stupid Goddess couldn't even beat the weakest monster in the Novice Village—the Giant Toad—even with the Crusader Darkness. Honestly, adding her only made things worse.
But Zunzun and Megumin's strength was obvious to everyone.
They'd just blasted a Demon King general off the face of the earth with two successive Super Explosions.
Yunyun might seem a bit plain, but compared to the others? She was clearly a massive improvement.
But…
"I won't agree."
Satou Kazuma folded his hands under his chin, made a certain commander's pose, and declared something that shocked everyone.
"Kazuma, are you serious?"
"Of course."
"You're just a shut-in nerd, and you dare to reject someone? Where do you get the courage?"
"What do you care, you useless goddess?!"
He scolded Aqua, who always held him back.
This wasn't a real rejection. It was revenge.
He'd once begged Zunzun in all humility, only to be repeatedly dismissed and defeated—he hadn't even been able to use his best stealing skills.
If he accepted now without conditions, wouldn't that make him look weak?
Satou Kazuma would never stoop that low.
It wasn't about proving his worth—it was about reclaiming what he'd lost, with his own hands!
"Kazuma, Kazuma!"
"Yes, I'm Kazuma."
"Why are you being so stubborn? This isn't like you! If someone's got a big leg to cling to, shouldn't you be groveling and hanging on like a loser? You're acting like you're too good for that!"
This girl...!
Satou Kazuma wanted to punch the worthless goddess in the face.
Darkness, meanwhile, felt a little disappointed.
Chris had been missing lately, leaving her alone in the guild.
While she enjoyed being ogled by the other adventurers like a lone, sacrificial lamb, she felt lonely and longed to join a party again.
Sharp-tongued Zunzun and devilish Kazuma were the ones she most wanted to team up with. It was a double dose of chaos and delight—so why...?
Darkness and Aqua exchanged glances.
"We can't help it, if that's the case."
"Yes, there's nothing we can do if Kazuma won't agree."
They both spoke at once.
Satou Kazuma grinned smugly and said, "That's right. I won't team up with them, no matter what you say."
After all, Aqua and Darkness were his party members. If he refused Zunzun's group, naturally, they'd refuse too—
"But it's not impossible to team up, as long as you—"
"In that case, I'll just give up on Kazuma and team up with Zunzun."
"Yeah, that's the only way."
Before Kazuma could finish his conditions, Aqua and Darkness interrupted.
—HUH!?
Satou Kazuma stared at them, dumbfounded.
"What did you just say?"
"You're so stupid, Kazuma," Aqua said matter-of-factly. "Even I know you can't have your cake and eat it too. Between the incompetent Kazuma and the powerful Zunzun, I'd obviously choose Zunzun."
"Me too. Kazuma, you're wonderful. Truly. You're a scumbag in every sense—wicked and vulgar—but... Megumin's explosion magic still captivates me more. And Zunzun's venom... oh, it's irresistible!"
Darkness blushed, her body trembling slightly.
Satou Kazuma rolled his eyes and snapped, "Why are you suddenly sending QQ messages, you perverted female knight?! And were you praising me or insulting me just now?!"
He never imagined that he would be the one abandoned.
...Oh no.
At that moment, he saw the corners of Zunzun's mouth curl up in a beautiful yet sinister grin. A cold chill shot up his spine, paralyzing his body.
"Kazuma."
"Yes, I'm Kazuma."
"We're forming a team of high-ranking classes. Guess who's not invited?"
Zunzun pointed at him.
"—You."
"Ugh..."
"Hey! You guys! Are you seriously going to team up without me?!"
Satou Kazuma shouted again.
"Don't look at us like that," Zunzun said. "We're serious about defeating the Demon King. Aqua and I became adventurers for this reason alone."
Honestly, after seeing the Dullahan's overwhelming strength, Kazuma had already given up on that pipe dream—but it still made for a great intimidation tactic.
"Ah, that's why I'm teaming up with you," Zunzun said.
There was another reason.
Although many powerful individuals were hiding out in Axel, most of them had chosen to live quietly. Only Satou Kazuma and Mitsurugi Kyouya were still actively interested in defeating the Demon King.
"Because we're going to become the new Demon King and conquer the world!" Megumin suddenly shouted.
"New Demon King?! World conquest?!"
Satou Kazuma stared at her, stunned.
"Isn't that great?" Aqua said cheerfully. "Now we all share the same goal—defeating the current Demon King!"
Satou Kazuma yanked her aside and hissed, "Bullshit! She just said she wants to become the Demon King! She wants to conquer the world! You're a goddess! Shouldn't you say something?!"
"What?"
"About the Demon King!"
"You're so silly, Kazuma. My goal is to defeat the current Demon King and return to heaven. Whoever becomes the next Demon King isn't my problem. Why would I care? And honestly, wouldn't it be wonderful if Zunzun became the next Demon King?"
Aqua's eyes sparkled with self-righteous stupidity.
This woman… she's disqualified as a goddess!
Satou Kazuma wasn't a good person, but at least he cared a little about the world's future.
This goddess didn't even pretend to care. She was worse than him.
Something had to change.
He turned toward the girl sitting quietly in the corner.
"Yunyun, right?"
"Y-Yes!"
"Don't be nervous. What I wanted to ask is: are you sure you want to team up with us?"
"Yes… I don't have many friends in the Crimson Demon Clan, so I've always dreamed of joining a team and going on adventures."
Huh? Huh?
Satou Kazuma looked at Yunyun—good-looking, clearly kind—and felt a loneliness radiating off her. She clearly wanted to belong, but didn't know how to ask.
It resonated with him.
Next!
"Darkness!"
"What is it?"
"As a female knight, if you were captured by the Demon King, you'd definitely suffer the most! You'd be subjected to all kinds of—"
"Yes! You're absolutely right! Being harassed by the Demon King is the ultimate duty of a female knight. That alone makes it worthwhile!"
?
When I typed that question mark—it wasn't me who was the problem.
It was her.
I forgot.
Darkness was that kind of woman. Saying that had only made her more excited.
"You guys… have you really decided to go defeat the Demon King?"
"Isn't that obvious?" ×5
Satou Kazuma looked at the five high-spirited weirdos around him.
He took a deep breath.
Then raised his right hand high and declared:
"—I quit the team!"
-End Chapter-
Visit the Patreon!!
Read 30 chapters ahead, more on the way!
P@treon.com/TrashProspector