One week after defeating the Headless Horseman...
Zunzun died.
Without any defense or concern, he died inexplicably.
This was a dark space.
It was pitch black beyond the three-meter radius around him. Only the area immediately surrounding him was visible. The light came from the goddess sitting opposite him, clad in a priest-like outfit and emitting a soft, hazy glow.
Zunzun knew who she was—he'd seen her portrait before.
—Eris, the goddess of luck.
She had taken over after Aqua was transferred to the underworld, and she was also the true identity of Chris.
Even Zunzun had to admit that the moment he saw Eris, he was completely stunned. His brain simply shut down.
The man and the goddess stared wide-eyed at each other.
It was unclear how long the silence lasted.
Eventually, Eris seemed unable to endure it any longer. She awkwardly scratched the scar on her cheek and whispered, "Z-Zunzun...? U-Um… I'm so sorry to tell you this, but… you're dead."
"Hiss!"
Zunzun leaned back in his chair.
He tried to remember if he'd done anything unusual, or whether his death had been his fault. But no matter how hard he searched, he couldn't find any relevant memories. Had he lost them?
"…Goddess, may I ask how I died?"
"You were cursed by the Dullahan."
"—Huh!?"
Zunzun suddenly remembered—the Dullahan had cursed him to die within a week, intending to make Megumin feel guilty.
But wasn't the Dullahan still alive? Everything should've been fine!
Still, that curse was strange. He hadn't felt anything. No pain, no reaction. He'd just dropped dead.
If he'd known it would really kill him, he would've gone to that stupid goddess and had it cleansed!
Wait, aren't I a god? How could a godlike being like me die to a petty curse? How is this any different from the Demon King getting stabbed in the butt with a small wooden stick, rupturing a hemorrhoid, and dying on the spot?
"I can't accept this!"
"…Huh?"
"Goddess Eris, you know I'm a reincarnated being, right? And the modifier I chose was Divine Body. So how could a measly curse from a Demon King general even affect me?!"
Zunzun glared at Eris, demanding a reasonable explanation.
Eris paused and said, "Well… Zunzun, although you chose the Goddess Body as your modifier, resisting curses requires spiritual maturity. You're still only in the infant stage. Plus, your level is still low. There's a significant gap between you and the Dullahan."
Infant stage? Maturity?
Then are there Perfect and Ultimate forms too? What am I, a Digimon?
"Huh?... Wait a minute, Goddess Eris, what did you say?"
"You're currently only infancy—"
"No, before that."
"Even though you chose the Goddess Body—"
Damn it, Aqua!
Furious, Zunzun kicked the chair under him—then obediently picked it up, sat down, and covered his face with his hands.
"Zunzun, are you alright?"
"…I demand compensation," he muttered. Eris couldn't quite catch it.
"What?"
"I demand compensation!!"
Zunzun suddenly shouted. "The cheat I wanted was supposed to be a god's body! But it turned into a goddess'! Not only that—it was supposed to be a reincarnation, but it turned into a rebirth! And I'm stuck in infancy, unable to resist even a measly curse! I won't accept this! I demand compensation! I demand compensation!!!"
He began rolling on the floor, acting completely unreasonable.
Forget justice—just make a scene.
"Z-Zunzun... please, please don't do this! Zunzun!?"
Eris looked distressed.
It must be rough cleaning up Aqua's mess. Not only did she have to handle bizarre reincarnations like Zunzun, she also had to deal with the aftermath of all the artifacts scattered across the world of Moqing.
Still, if she didn't give in, Zunzun would die for real.
"I want to be resurrected! I want to be resurrected!!"
"Z-Zunzun!? B-But the rules of heaven—"
"I don't care, I don't care, I don't care!!"
"Z-Zunzun! Stop pulling on my clothes—my snot... your snot is getting on them! Aahhh!"
Zunzun tugged at her skirt, deliberately wiping snot all over it.
Eventually, after much arguing, they sat back down. Eris looked like she was about to cry.
It seemed he'd gone too far.
"But I have to say, this was your mistake, Goddess Eris. Wasn't it?"
"Yes… that's true..."
Eris shook her head back and forth, deep in thought, trying to figure out how to revive Zunzun without breaking heavenly law. Honestly, she looked kind of adorable.
Finally, she seemed to reach a decision.
"Zunzun, do you know about artifacts? They're like the cheats other reincarnated people have—like your Goddess Body."
"Oh, yeah, I know."
Examples included that Old Bastard's skill Fantasy Creation, Mitsurugi Kyouya's Demon Sword Gram, and Satou Kazuma's goddess Aqua—all cheats tied to reincarnated people.
"Skills vanish when their user dies," Eris explained, "but artifacts remain. They're dangerous. If someone with bad intentions gets their hands on them, they can cause massive problems. So, I hope you'll help recover them, Zunzun. Is that okay?"
It was clearly a trade.
Zunzun would be resurrected, but he'd have to help collect artifacts.
Normally, this would be mutually beneficial, but considering he'd died because of the goddess body, he still felt cheated.
"Hmm… hmm… hmm!"
"I'm sorry, this is the best solution I can think of. If you don't agree, you'll have to be reincarnated again. But I can promise you a wealthy, powerful family," Eris offered.
What? Live a boring rich life again?
Honestly, he was getting tired of that.
After a long pause, Zunzun sighed. "Alright, I'll answer—"
Before he could say "yes," a bright aquamarine light shone from the ceiling.
"Zunzun? Hey, Zunzun! Can you hear me?"
"Huh? Aqua?"
"—Aqua-senpai!?" Eris gasped, eyes wide in disbelief. She was stunned that Aqua had managed to intrude into this space reserved for the dead.
"Zunzun, why'd you die like that? I already cast a resurrection spell on your body. You can return. There should be a goddess in front of you—tell her to open a door so you can leave."
Aqua's impertinent voice echoed through the dark.
Zunzun and Eris exchanged baffled looks.
Then—
"Goddess Eris, thank you for your hospitality. I'll be going now."
"Wait! You can't leave!"
"Why not? Aqua already resurrected me."
"A-Anyway… you can't be resurrected this way!"
For some reason, Eris suddenly acted like a spoiled brat.
Zunzun scratched his head and shouted upward, "Hey, Aqua! Eris says I can't leave like this. What should I do?"
"What—? Eris? Ah, that goddess responsible for all the poor, remote areas! She's worshipped as the goddess of luck and has gotten so full of herself she's become currency! I swear, if she keeps talking, I'll take her bra pads…!"
"I know! I'll open the door! Just stop talking!!"
Blushing, Eris covered her chest. She snapped her fingers, and a plain white door appeared.
"Aqua-senpai is still so unreasonable..."
Eris muttered, then added, "Alright, now you can return to the mortal world… I'll handle the paperwork later. But don't forget our agreement, Zunzun."
"Oh, right… the artifact thing."
"It must remain a secret. And this is the first time I've ever done something like this without following the proper channels," she said briskly, a mischievous look on her face.
Suddenly, Zunzun couldn't resist teasing her.
"…Goddess Eris, are you really a cushion-wearer?"
"What?"
"You know… pads."
He gestured at her chest. Then, before Eris could react, he shoved the door open and stepped through.
"Ouch!"
Eris was left alone in the darkness, clutching her chest. Tears welled up.
"This is harassment..."
She opened her eyes.
The noisy guild atmosphere returned.
Zunzun saw familiar faces—Megumin, Yunyun, Darkness, Aqua, and Satou Kazuma. All of them looked at him with worried expressions.
He never expected that one day… he'd actually win a resurrection match.
"Thank you, Aqua."
"It's okay, it's okay."
Aqua smiled, then stretched out her hand.
"What's this…?"
"Money! Zunzun, didn't you ask me to fill that plain? I finished it and came back only to find you dead! If you die, who's going to pay me? So I resurrected you. Now pay up."
The stupid goddess looked… incredibly stupid.
—I was kind of touched just now. What a fool.
-End Chapter-
Visit the Patreon!!
Read 30 chapters ahead, more on the way!
P@treon.com/TrashProspector