I made a lot of mistakes. I can admit to it.
When I used the World Rendering Sword to replenish the traces of my mind, I should have made one exclusively for Mei. I never thought about it at that time. I was pressed by my limited time in utilizing this eighth level power. I made this huge mistake.
I looked at the girl sitting in a seiza. Not a trace of light could be seen inside her dwelling. Some parts of the floor had dark red spots. Fragments of broken items littered around.
This is not a house at all…
No one would think that the dignified Queen of Chiba Academy will end up in dire traits… not even me.
A mistake.
A big fucking mistake..!
For a moment, I don't know how to face her. My negligence for Mei cannot be fixed with a simple sorry. I pushed her to become an immortal cultivation, yet I wasn't able to properly guide her as a teacher. This is the responsibility I failed to uphold.
Not even defeating the Cocoon of Finality could compare to this heavy feeling inside my chest.
…
No matter what, I will bite the bullet.
Just then, spiritual qi fluctuations emerged from Mei's frail body. Her shoulders shook intensely as she fell to the ground. I saw everything instantly. I reappeared right behind her and took out several pills. I carried Mei's fallen body and flipped her over. My left arm supported her back.
I disregarded the softness I accidentally touched and placed the round pill in front of her wounded pink lips. Her reddened eyes appeared to be in a daze. The power of Enlightenment gathered on my middle finger. It manifested in a form of golden light and seeped through her forehead. Her eyes swiftly turned to normal.
A plethora of emotions emerged from those purple irises.
"Can you hear me? Mei? You need to open your mouth… no, cover it with your spiritual consciousness. I will direct its essence to you…"
It took a while before she could respond. Her spiritual consciousness enveloped the golden pill. My spiritual consciousness also enveloped the pill. It merged with Mei's spiritual consciousness.
'...worthless student.'
'...do anything.'
'Cannot…'
'...stupid…'
Some of Mei's thoughts gradually opened up to mine. My heart sank before I swallowed my guilt. I began to control the merged spiritual consciousness. The golden pill melted into a golden pool of fluid, and then a ray of golden light. The moment it sank onto Mei's chest, her mottled Golden Core stopped producing any more cracks. Some of them vanished instantly while the rest grew visibly smaller.
Using the same method, I fed her three other pills. It dealt with the damages on her mind and physical body.
Seeing her face turn rosy and her breathing become stable, I heaved a sigh of relief. Her eyes caught my attention. Mei stared intently at me. It looked as if she wanted to say a lot of things but could not.
For a while, nobody said a word.
"Let's have a proper talk, Mei."
*****
'It's so bright.'
The first thing Mei saw after coming back to senses was her teacher's concerned look. His golden pupils instantly drew her attention. It was just as imposing, if not stronger, than what she could remember.
Hidden underneath these eyes is concern, something Mei had never expected.
'But… why..?'
She already imprinted her uselessness on her mind. She is a useless student, a useless person who could not do anything except wallow from her sorrow borne from her mistakes. She was someone who could never take a step forward by herself, requiring acknowledgement to sustain her very being.
Such a dependent person deserved nothing but to fall in the path of immortal cultivation.
'Teacher… gave me another chance.'
Her inner demons spawned out of smaller things before it nearly grew unstoppable. Mei is extremely aware of it—on how ridiculous it was to nurture inner demons from these small mistakes. She felt she does not deserve any other chance in life, that this pathetic display is completely undeserving of the care she received.
Yet…
Yet..!
'It is warm…'
She could not help but be happy.
Shi Tian's act of acknowledging her existence by dragging her from the gates of the underworld sent tremors to her soul. For the first time in a long while, happiness greeted her like sunlight seeping through her windows.
Then, the act of their spiritual consciousness "worsened" her condition. Mei intercepted Shi Tian's thoughts. The most overwhelming emotion was guilt.
'No…'
The thought of committing suicide instantly came to her mind. But then, she realized it would do nothing but worsen Shi Tian's guilt. His concern towards her ran very deep.
Mei was stuck between self-loathing pure bliss.
'Even a useless person like me can…'
Perhaps she acts similar to a puppy in the eyes of others. But, if it came down to it, she would gladly become her teacher's puppy.
Nobody would have expected that fighting inner demons for eighteen years, in seclusion atop that, would change Raiden Mei…
No, that was not it.
She did not change. She was merely throwing away all pretenses, revealing who Raiden Mei truly is.
In the game, the continued bullying of her classmates led to the emergence of her stigma personality. However, it was this same bullying that drew Kiana closer to her. To Mei, she was nothing short of a white moonlight (i.e., idealized person).
She spent countless hours cooking despite not having touched any kitchen tools due to her wealthy upbringing. All to see Kiana's joy over her food. All to earn Kiana's smile—her acknowledgement. The small family of three in Saint Freya was what gave Mei's life another meaning.
When it was threatened to be torn apart, she never hesitated to join the World Serpent and embrace her Herrscher Core fully. The events of the Lament of the Fallen—that she would gladly become a sinner if it meant saving Kiana—took place because of this simple reason.
Without such events occurring, Mei still stood at the same endpoint, if not more extreme. She ended up experiencing the same impacts to herself but with different events. Becoming an immortal cultivator elevated the strength of her self-doubts, turning them into tangible inner demons.
"Let's have a talk, Mei."
Hearing Shi Tian's voice sent a jolt down Mei's spine. Fear encroached her heart.
'Will he cut me off?'
'Is he angry?'
'What will he say?'
…
Having tasted the sweetness of his acknowledgement, her doubts turned into nourishments of her twisted desires.
'I don't want it to happen..!'
In the end, Mei's downfall did happen, but not in immortal cultivation.
She had turned into an obsessive yandere.
*****
A/N: Bonus Chapter.