You'd think becoming an Echo Sovereign—a divine-class reality bender with metaphysical soup powers—would come with perks.
Like, say, a throne.
Or a cool cape.
Or maybe just a snack.
Instead, I got paperwork.
I stood in line. Not metaphorical line. Literal. A glowing, spiraling, paradox-geometry kind of line that folded across ten timelines and had at least one screaming goat-demon up front holding a clipboard and mumbling about misplaced incarnations.
Above me floated a friendly holographic sign:
WELCOME TO THE GLITCH DEPARTMENT OF ETERNAL MANAGEMENT.
Please take a number. Then scream softly into the abyss.
"Kael of Echo?" called the receptionist—who was a sentient quill inside a typewriter attached to a hologram of a disgruntled cat.
"Present," I mumbled.
"Congratulations on your unauthorized ascension. Please fill out Form 77B-E: Sovereign Misconduct Waiver, Form 2020-C: Divine Masked Registration, and Form FLUFF-17: Companion Fox Therapy Subsidy Request."
"Do I need a pen?"
The quill coughed. "I am the pen."
Naturally.
Orientation Room A: Mandatory Indoctrination (Glitch-Safe)
I was ushered into a cube-shaped room lined with quantum whiteboards and echoing whispers of other Sovereigns-in-training.
At the center stood a training hologram shaped like a cheerful cultist.
"Welcome, future paradox! You've been selected by accident and narrative rejection to represent the fractured will of Echo across dimensions! Woohoo!"
The hologram glitched.
"You are now responsible for maintaining spiritual balance, soup stability, and anti-harem protocol containment."
I raised a hand. "Quick question—what if I'm emotionally underqualified, magically unstable, and extremely flammable in the metaphorical sense?"
A second hologram appeared. It was shaped like me, but with a beard and a clipboard.
"Perfect. You qualify for middle management."
Departmental Tour (Do Not Feed the Prophets)
Our guide—a floating clipboard named Chad—led me through sectors of the divine bureaucracy.
Reality Weaving: A team of hummingbird-winged archivists arguing over how many plot twists a soul can survive in one arc.
Narrative Stability Unit: Currently on fire. No one seemed concerned.
Soup Logistics: A warehouse filled with floating ladles and sentient broth. I was saluted.
Harem Violation Department: A dim-lit room where rejected romantic tropes went to weep quietly.
"Question," I said. "Is there a bathroom?"
Chad floated ominously. "There are no needs here, Kael. Only paperwork."
First Assignment: Fix the Forked Fate File
"Your first duty as Sovereign," said Chad, "is to manually un-fork a fractured fate timeline that got corrupted by a flirtation mishap, a prophecy misfire, and a rogue catboy."
"So... a Tuesday?"
"You'll be joined by your personal intern."
Fluffernox emerged from a pocket of space wearing tiny glasses, a clipboard, and sipping tea from a cup labeled #1 Soul Therapist.
"I have notes about your unresolved trauma and your tendency to emotionally deflect with soup metaphors."
"Not now, Fluffs."
"It's always now."
Inside the Forked Timeline
The corrupted world flickered into view: a half-baked romantic subplot gone rogue. The air reeked of unresolved tension. Three versions of Seraphina were arguing about narrative agency. Belladonna's phantom paced in the background.
"Wow," I whispered. "I am really bad at feelings."
Fluffernox nudged me. "Say something emotionally honest."
"I...like soup?"
"Try harder."
I stepped forward.
"I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I'm just... figuring out who I am. And that means I mess up. But I want to fix it. All of it."
The timeline pulsed. The ghostly Seraphinas fused. Belladonna's phantom paused—and smiled.
Then everything folded into a memory shard and flew into my Mask.
Back in the office, Chad clapped (somehow).
"Congratulations. You passed your first Sovereign trial."
"But I didn't do anything."
"You tried. That's more than most."
Fluffernox coughed politely. "Also, you now have three additional romantic flags, emotional XP, and a coupon for free soul ramen."
Great.
Final Form Update
[SYSTEM UPDATE: KAEL – ECHO SOVEREIGN TIER 2]
New Skill: Empathy Burst (Passive)
Mask Integration: 82%
Emotional Stability: Wavering, but heroic
Soup Affinity: Still Infinite
I returned to my new divine desk (it was shaped like a question mark).
In front of me: a folder labeled Next Assignment: Reconcile with Belladonna (Emotionally Hazardous).
Next to it, a sticky note:
"Bring soup. She likes tomato."
I sighed.
"Let's do this."
Next Time on Kaelverse:
Divine HR complaints
Spoon promotion review
Belladonna finally says what she means
Kael finally listens
And a prophecy gets punched.
Bring napkins. It gets emotional.