Chapter 153: What's Wrong With Me?
"Isn't that enough, Subaru-sama?"
"What's the matter? Has Wilhelm-san already fallen behind me? If that's the case, then that's actually a good thing."
"No, continuing like this has lost much of its meaning. I'm sure, Subaru-sama, you yourself are very aware that pressing on like this won't change anything. It's just that you have so many emotions bottled up inside and don't know where to release them, so you resort to such extreme ways to push yourself."
"That's not exactly right. This is no longer training; it's just self-punishment. If it were you, this wouldn't be the case."
Wilhelm looked at Subaru lying on the ground.
It was the second day since they arrived at the mansion. For these two days, they had been training around noon, but Wilhelm had already lost the will to continue.
Because Subaru wasn't getting stronger—in fact, he was getting weaker... No, it wasn't that he was weaker. It was self-punishment.
His fighting style had become more violent, completely reckless—like trading injury for injury.
No technique, no threat.
"What happened… none of us wanted to see it, but it's not your fault."
"You really can't be fooled, huh," Subaru sighed, standing up from the ground and brushing the dust off his clothes.
"I know it's not exactly my fault, but it is. If I had known more, been more cautious, the result wouldn't have been like this."
"Subaru-sama, you're already excellent. You made it possible for us to kill the White Whale at very little cost and defeat the Witch's Cult's Archbishop of Sloth without sacrificing a single person. I have seen everything you've done."
"So I know you've done your best. Nobody expected that besides the Archbishop of Sloth, there would be two other Archbishops of Sin."
"Want to sit down and talk? It seems we haven't really had a good conversation yet."
"I'd be delighted."
Subaru and Wilhelm walked to the courtyard and sat down.
Subaru leaned against the fence, holding the wooden sword in his hand, and slowly spoke:
"How is Crush's situation?"
"She is physically unharmed, but her memory has completely disappeared.
Some of the surviving injured are the same—either they lost their memories or have been forgotten by others, and they have become 'Sleeping Beauties.'"
"Hm."
"Have you gathered any intelligence during this time?"
"Shamefully, our knowledge of the Witch's Cult was already very limited, so we don't have much useful information. Recently, some places near the royal capital have started showing symptoms similar to Crush's."
Hearing this, Subaru sighed again.
Now he was really full of strength but had no outlet, unable to find the Witch's Cult's location. Originally, he could have asked Geuse, but Geuse was still staying in the mansion.
After all, Geuse' identity was somewhat sensitive, and even with a small chance, Subaru didn't want to risk bringing Geuse to the capital.
After rescuing Crush and the others, they rushed back to the royal capital, and even Emilia only arrived a day late due to delayed notification.
Now Subaru, Emilia, and half the villagers were living in Crush's mansion.
But after just two days, the villagers began to worry about their families and friends, and Subaru felt he could no longer stay and be a burden to Crush's group.
"That girl, she's important to you, isn't she?"
"Hm?"
"You don't have to hide it. After all, I've been there before.
The care you showed her and the way you've been looking after her these past two days already shows she's very important to you."
"Yes, she's very important. I'm well aware of her feelings for me, but for some reason, I'm not ready to accept them yet. But my feelings for her… I should say I like her… no, I do like her."
"Is that so…"
Wilhelm was silent.
At a time like this, he had nothing useful to say, couldn't comfort Subaru, and couldn't share his burden.
"No need for that, Wilhelm-san. This situation won't last forever. Now that we know the Witch's Cult is behind this, what we need to do is find them, and after finding a way to save her…"
"Kill them. Subaru-sama, your killing intent is leaking out."
"Wilhelm-san, you're no different. Now that we have a target, we can only try to gather information."
"Looks like I'm still not mature or steady enough."
"Me too…"
Afterwards, neither said anything and just sat quietly in the pavilion, each lost in their own thoughts.
After some time, Wilhelm left when called by others.
Subaru, after Wilhelm left, exited the courtyard and walked straight into the mansion, heading to Rem's room.
The entire afternoon, Subaru sat quietly by Rem's bedside, watching her lie on the bed.
The view outside slowly darkened.
Only then did Subaru stand, light the lamps, and return to sit in his place.
Suicide doesn't reset the points... meaning this thing only refreshes when you die during a run?
What an inconvenient ability. And what exactly is that question mark skill? How do you activate it? What is its effect?
Who is the Archbishop of Sin that turned Rem into this? How can Rem be restored?
I really can't stay here any longer. I have to go back and ask Geuse or Beatrice soon.
"You're really here."
"Hm? Puck?"
Subaru looked at Puck, who had somehow appeared by his side, and shook his head before asking:
"What are you doing here?"
"That's rude! Can't I come see you if there's nothing to do? Besides, this girl should have some connection to me as well, so can't I come check on her?"
"That's not it. By the way, Puck, if it's you…"
"You only just remembered to ask me? Unfortunately, I can't help you, but as compensation, let me tell you the information about the one who caused this girl to become like this."
"Hm?"
"Gluttony, one of the Archbishops of Sin. His power is Devour—he devours the target's name, steals the memories of those around him, and devours the target's memories. When both name and memory are stolen, nothing remains, only an empty shell."
"..."
"Subaru."
Hearing Puck's call, Subaru was startled and looked out the window. It was already completely dark.
Why?! Why is Puck here?!
"Puck!"
"Hm? Why shout my name suddenly? You scared me."
"Why are you here at this time?!"
"..."
"Tell me the answer!" Subaru's emotions surged.
He stood from his chair and grabbed Puck.
In Puck's eyes, he could see anger on Subaru's face.
And in those eyes—fear, dread, and sadness.
"Subaru, I'm sorry. I promised to help you, but when you needed help, I was never there. Now I only add to your burden. But I'm counting on you for Lia. Also… be careful of Roswaal."
"Puck!"
Subaru looked at his empty hands, which began shaking violently. His contracted pupils trembled.
He immediately shifted his gaze to the fruit knife on the bedside cabinet.
Focusing on it, Subaru quickly grabbed the fruit knife.
A knock on the door outside snapped Subaru back to reality.
He took a few steps back, and the fruit knife fell with a loud clatter.
He covered his face, trembling, whispering:
"No... what's wrong with me..."
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