Chapter 152: Sorry, Sorry
Early the next morning, Natsuki Subaru had just opened his eyes according to his usual biological clock and hadn't even finished washing up when he heard noises outside the window.
Sensing something was wrong, Subaru rolled out of bed and walked over to the window to look at what was happening in the courtyard outside.
What he saw was people quickly packing things—not neatly, but rather throwing things haphazardly into piles—and gathering their equipment all together.
Seeing this, Subaru could tell even without knowing the details that something was seriously wrong.
He didn't even have time to change out of the pajamas he had been wearing since yesterday afternoon and didn't care that his body was still in recovery.
He ran downstairs immediately.
When he joined up with the main group, he realized that Felix and Wilhelm—who were supposed to bring the main force—were nowhere to be found.
Only the mercenary leader Ricardo and Julius remained.
"Julius! What's going on?" Subaru shouted as he ran up to Julius.
Julius stopped giving orders and turned his head to look at Subaru, his face unusually grave.
"..."
"What exactly happened? What's going on? Where are Felix and Wilhelm?" Subaru asked anxiously.
Julius was silent for a moment before slowly answering:
"This morning, a soldier from the caravan heading to the royal capital arrived… Lord Crush's party is suspected to have been attacked by two archbishops of the Witch's Cult."
Upon hearing this, Subaru was stunned for a moment and then forced a bitter smile onto his face.
"I can't believe you're joking, Julius. That kind of joke isn't funny at all…"
"..."
"Patrasche!!!"
What happened after that Subaru could no longer clearly remember.
He didn't even know how many times he silently prayed on the way to where Crush's group had left.
The only thing he could remember was the cries he heard upon arriving at the ruinous scene, the tragic sight, and finding a blue-haired maid lying motionless on the ground among corpses and wounded people—looking as if she was unharmed but completely still.
"Are you joking? Hey, Rem? That doesn't sound like you. Still sleeping now and haven't gotten up? I never thought you'd slack off even for one day."
Kneeling beside Rem, Subaru stretched out his trembling hand and shook her gently with a smile on his face that was about to break into tears.
"Rem... wake up..."
"Master Subaru... is she someone you know?"
Hearing this, Subaru was taken aback, eyes wide as he turned toward Wilhelm standing behind him.
From Wilhelm's eyes, Subaru could see no falseness—he truly didn't know this maid lying on the ground.
He simply didn't know her name!
Realizing this, Subaru turned to look at the large figure still tied to the wagon—The White Whale was dead! It had to be dead!
"I'm fine, Wilhelm. Right now, we need to care for the wounded. We can't afford more deaths."
"Understood."
Just as Wilhelm turned away, a voice all too familiar sounded by his ear.
Wilhelm quickly turned and saw Subaru collapsed on the ground, a sharp longsword piercing his heart.
"Master Subaru!!! Felix!!"
Subaru's vision began to blur.
He hated himself for having chosen a skill that delayed his resurrection.
He saw Wilhelm's face full of sorrow shouting his name, saw Felix's tear-streaked face that looked like it was scolding in anger.
'It has to be in time...'
With that thought in his last conscious moment, Subaru's hand grabbed Felix's.
In shock and confusion, Felix and Wilhelm heard Subaru's faint voice:
"Sorry... I will, I will try my best..."
With those words, his heartbeat and breathing ceased entirely.
Felix noticed this, withdrew his hand, wiped away his tears, said nothing, and ran to Crush's side.
Wilhelm, left standing, looked at Subaru's lifeless body, clenched his fists, and gazed toward the caravan.
Those were villagers who were supposed to be heading to the royal capital—they were still quietly waiting in place.
If they learned of Subaru's fate now... how devastating would it be for them?
'Subaru... what are you really fighting for? The you I know would never do this. Why did it come to this?'
"It's really slow, huh."
.
.
.
Beatrice didn't know how many times she had lifted her eyes to the closed door.
During this long wait, there was even a moment when she had been full of hopeful anticipation for the moment the closed door would open.
Now she was repeating this gesture again, but this time it was different.
Back then, she wasn't sure if he would come.
But now, she was certain Subaru would come—because he was the type to only cause trouble.
"Hmph. When you come, I'll make sure you properly feel the teacher's authority."
Whispering softly, Beatrice seemed to see the expression on Subaru's face—a mixture of collapse and helplessness.
Her legs gently swayed.
Beside her chair, a huge stack of books awaited someone to open and read.
.
.
.
"What a joke! Give me the points! Give me the points!!!!"
Subaru's roar echoed through the pure white world.
His face twisted in rage, glaring furiously at the system panel and furiously punching it like a madman.
Every punch struck empty air.
Having vented, Subaru knelt on the ground.
This was the second time he had tried to commit suicide...
The first time, he had already noticed the system panel hadn't updated.
But at that time, he hadn't thought much of it.
After choosing to act, the save point had changed.
He missed the save position most likely to catch up to Crush's group.
The latest save point moved to the night when he was reading in his room.
He immediately ran toward Crush's direction after that.
But everything had already happened.
Because of the first and second suicide attempts, he had become more familiar with his actions.
He had hoped to use the system's update to speed himself up.
But seeing no points, no system update, Subaru finally understood that he no longer had a chance to save those people.
"Sorry, sorry, sorry!"
Huddled on the ground holding his head, Subaru's forehead pressed to his opposite self on the floor, recalling the farewell scene with Rem.
It was his choice that caused problems for Rem and Crush.
If at that time... if at that time he had persuaded them to stay, if at that time he had agreed to go with them...
Subaru knew the answer.
Even if he had gone with Rem and the others then, there was a very high chance he would have missed the opportunity to save Julius and the others.
In this blank world, Subaru's apologies continued for a very long, very long time...
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