I stare at the ceiling — more like glare.
Killian is fast asleep beside me, his arms caging me against his chest. Our heartbeats move in almost the same rhythm.
I'm as naked as the day I was born under the duvet, and all that's ringing in my head is this: I just slept with my sister's husband — twice.
Even though my sister is basically the one with the bull's horns, I can't stop the guilt creeping up my throat.
Tonight has to be the longest night ever. I've been staring at the ceiling for what feels like hours, and the sun hasn't even played peekaboo yet.
I lay there for what felt like hours, and finally, morning came. The sun decided to grace me with its presence, as if to end my self-inflicted misery.
I turned my head toward the now-stirring Killian, his hands rubbing at his face, trying to chase the sleep from his eyes. He was undeniably good in bed — probably the kind of man most women would kill for — but he had his flaws.
Deciding there was no point in wallowing — and since sleep clearly wasn't coming anytime soon — I got up and walked into the bathroom to go through my usual hygiene routine.
After brushing my teeth, I stepped under the running water, letting it cascade down my back. I was too lost in thought to hear the door open. It wasn't until I felt a hand scrubbing my back — and another on my breast — that I jolted back to the present.
"Gasps!" I gasped, sharply turning to face the culprit.
"Killian... what did I say about sneaking up on me?" I jabbed my fingers into his chest, trying, and failing, to ignore the growing sensation between my legs.
He wrapped his arms around me, completely ignoring my complaints as he shifted us until the water poured over both our bodies. Then, without warning, he dipped his head, and kissed me like he owned the moment, like he needed it to breathe. Like he wasn't planning to let me go anytime soon.
"Mmm... stop," I murmured against his mouth, trying to slip out of his grasp.
"No," he breathed, moving his lips to my neck. He dropped light kisses along my skin, slow and teasing — until he finally latched on, sucking gently.
"Baby, don't you have to go to work?" I asked, grasping for any excuse to pull away.
"I will. I can go anytime I want. I'm the boss," he smirked, once again reminding me that my sister really did hit the jackpot with him.
Not like our family isn't doing okay... but we're not billionaires. Not even millionaires.
"Okay, okay, but still, you have to let me shower in peace," I bargained, trying to find some middle ground. "I'm yours after that."
He stared deep into my eyes, and after a moment, finally said, "Okay." Then he kissed my forehead, stepped out from under the shower, and left the bathroom.
The moment the door shut behind him, I broke down. Tears streamed down my face like someone had opened a floodgate.
I wish I weren't in this predicament.
I wish I had never agreed to help my sister.
I stayed under the running water for a while, letting it numb everything, until a knock at the bathroom door jolted me back to reality.
I grabbed a towel from the hanger, wrapping one around my head and another around my body.
Just as I stepped out, I walked straight into Killian's hard chest, he was about to knock again.
"Hey," he said softly, placing a hand under my chin to lift my face.
"What's going on? What took you so long?" he asked, concern dripping from his voice.
"I'm fine," I said, looking up at him with a smile. "Like it's my first time spending that long in the bathroom."
I waved off his concern with a small laugh, brushing it away like it was nothing.
He can't find out. No. He mustn't.
"Okay, my queen," he said, pressing another kiss to my forehead before stepping into the bathroom, leaving me standing there, trying not to fall apart for the second time that morning. After standing there for a few minutes, I let out a deep sigh, and ,I walked into the closet to get dressed and apply some lotion.
***************************
Twenty-five minutes later, I'm dressed, and Killian has just finished in the bathroom, already getting ready for work.
"It's possible I won't be home for dinner tonight — or come home at all," he said while slipping on his underwear and I turned my head, giving him my version of privacy.
"Okay," I replied, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. I busied my fingers with the hem of the bedsheet, anything to keep them from trembling.
I don't know why this is affecting me so much, but Killian not coming home… it's probably for the best.
The house fell silent.
I stepped out of the room and walked down the morning-lit, empty hallways, wandering aimlessly until I found myself in the library I'd stumbled upon during my first day in this humongous mansion.
I stepped inside and shut the door behind me — only to be punched in the gut by the massive portrait of Selena and Killian.
How could I have forgotten it was there?
I pretended not to see it and moved toward the shelves, browsing through the books, searching for something — anything — to pass the time and distract me from the boredom… and the loneliness.
I finally found one that looked interesting, picked it up, and settled onto the comfortable couch by the fireplace.
I rang for the maid to bring in some snacks and refreshments, which she delivered in no time, then left me to myself.
Ring, ring.
The sound of my phone snapped me out of the story, just as I was about to read the next line.
"Who the fuck decides to call at the wrong ti—" I muttered, grabbing my phone, irritated because I was right at the good part.
Then I saw the name glowing on the screen.
Selena.