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Chapter 1: A Soul in a Pickle
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Kazana blinked awake, sprawled on a dusty rooftop in the Seireitei, the sprawling city of Soul Reapers. The sky above was a crisp blue, but his heart sank as he realized he was not in his cozy apartment back on Earth, binge-watching Bleach for the fifth time. No, he was in Bleach. A reincarnated soul, plopped into the afterlife with no warning, no guidebook, and—worst of all—no snacks.
"Great," he muttered, scratching his messy black hair. "Just my luck. Reincarnated into a world where everyone's swinging swords and I'm probably gonna get skewered by some overpowered maniac." He sat up, groaning as a sharp pain shot through his back. Apparently, reincarnated souls didn't come with chiropractic care either.
A translucent blue screen flickered to life in front of his eyes, startling him so badly he yelped and swatted at it like a mosquito. The screen didn't budge, displaying text in a cheerful, game-like font:
System Notification: Welcome, Host Kazana! You have been granted the Soul Reaper System to aid your journey in the Bleach universe. Complete missions to earn rewards and grow stronger! First Mission: Survive your first day in the Seireitei. Reward: Basic Spiritual Power Boost.
Kazana stared at the screen, his jaw dropping. "A system? Like in those novels I read?" A grin spread across his face. "Okay, maybe this isn't so bad. I mean, like, surviving one day? How hard can that be? I'll just lay low, avoid trouble, and—"
A shadow loomed over him. "Oi, kid! What're you doing up here slacking off?" a gruff voice barked.
Kazana's grin vanished. He turned slowly, his heart pounding, to see a burly Soul Reaper with a shaved head and a zanpakuto slung at his hip glaring down at him. "Uh… just, y'know, enjoying the view?" Kazana squeaked, scooting backward.
"The Soul Reaper doesn't laze around!" the man roared, grabbing Kazana by the collar and yanking him to his feet. "You're coming with me to the 11th Squad's training grounds. Captain's orders: all newbies get tested today!"
Kazana's carefree attitude crumbled. The 11th Squad? That's Zaraki Kenpachi's squad! The ones who think a friendly spar is a death match! "W-W-Wait, sir, I'm, uh, not really a fighter! I'm more of a… a poet!" he stammered, flailing.
"The Soul Reaper's a poet!" the man dragged him toward the edge of the rooftop. "Move it!"
As Kazana was hauled off, the System chimed in again:
New Mission: Survive the 11th Squad's Initiation Sparring. Reward: Random Basic Weapon Skill.
Optional Bonus Mission: Land a hit on 11th Squad Lieutenant Yumi. Reward: Random Mobility Technique (e.g., One Piece's Geppo).
Kazana's eyes widened in horror. "Land a hit on Yumi?! The bald guy who's probably like a walking tank? System, are you trying to get me killed?!"
The system didn't respond, its screen winking out as Kazana was unceremoniously tossed into a sandy training arena surrounded by jeering 11th Squad members. The air buzzed with bloodlust, and Kazana's knees wobbled. He wasn't exactly athletic back on Earth—unless you counted sprinting to the convenience store for instant ramen as cardio. Now, he was expected to fight?
Across the arena stood Lieutenant Yumi, polishing his head with a cue ball shine, his zanpakuto resting casually on his shoulder. "Heh, you're a new one, eh?" Yumi grinned, cracking his knuckles. "Don't worry, kid. I'll go easy. Just try not to cry too hard."
Kazana swallowed hard, his own wooden training zanpakuto trembling in his hands. "Easy? You guys think 'easy' means 'only break a few bones,' don't you?" he muttered under his breath.
The spar began with Yumi lunging forward, his blade whistling through the air. Kazana dove to the side, shrieking, "I'm too young to die!" The crowd roared with laughter, some shouting, "Look at him dance!" and "He's the fastest coward we've seen yet!"
Kazana scrambled to his feet, dodging another swing by pure luck as he tripped over his own sandals. "System, help me out here!" he thought desperately. The system flashed:
Tip: Use your environment creatively to evade.
"Environment?!" Kazana glanced around, spotting a pile of sand near the arena's edge. As Yumi charged again, Kazana scooped up a handful of sand and flung it at Yumi's face. The lieutenant sputtered, wiping his eyes, and Kazana seized the moment to swing his wooden sword… only to hit Yumi's arm with a feeble thwack.
The crowd fell silent. Yumi blinked, then burst into a guffaw. "Did you just slap me with a stick? Ha! You're funny, kid!"
Kazana froze, expecting to be obliterated. But the system dinged:
Bonus Mission Completed: Land a hit on Lieutenant Yumi. Reward: Geppo (Basic Sky Step Technique).
Main Mission Completed: Survive the 11th Squad Initiation Sparring. Reward: Basic Spiritual Power Boost.
A warm energy pulsed through Kazana's body, his limbs feeling slightly lighter, stronger. He didn't have time to marvel, though—Yumi was already swinging again. "Alright, funny guy, let's up the stakes!"
Kazana bolted, his newfound Geppo instinctively kicking in. He leapt into the air, wobbling like a drunk seagull, but managed to land on a nearby wall, barely avoiding Yumi's blade. The crowd cheered, mistaking his flailing for skill. "He's got moves!" someone yelled.
Kazana panted, clinging to the wall. "Okay… maybe I can survive this. But I'm definitely not doing this again."
Unfortunately, his luck ran dry as a new figure appeared at the arena's edge—a tall, elegant woman with long black hair tied in a braid and a gentle smile that somehow radiated pure terror. Captain Retsu Unohana of the Fourth Squad, the healing division… and the first Kenpachi, a legend whose mere presence made Kazana's blood run cold.
"Lieutenant Yumi," Unohana said softly, her eyes twinkling with an unsettling warmth. "I was passing by to check for injuries. This young man seems… interesting."
Kazana's heart stopped. Interesting? From Unohana? That was worse than being called "prey" by a predator! He'd always thought Unohana was gorgeous in the anime—serene, kind, and totally his type—but now, knowing she was a retired murder machine, he wanted nothing more than to stay off her radar.
"Y-Yeah, I'm fine, Captain!" he squeaked, still dangling from the wall. "No injuries here! Just, uh, practicing my… wall-climbing meditation!"
Unohana's smile widened, and Kazana swore he saw a flicker of amusement in her eyes. "How charming," she said. "Do take care, young one. I'd hate to see you in my clinic… unless, of course, it's necessary."
Kazana gulped, his face burning. Was she… flirting? Threatening? Both? He had no idea, but his traitorous brain supplied an image of her in a kimono, smiling softly, and—nope, stop it, brain! Focus on not dying!
The system, as if sensing his panic, popped up with a new mission:
New Mission: Spend a night at Captain Unohana's clinic for a "special treatment." Reward: Random High-Level Kido Technique.
Kazana's jaw dropped. "System, you're definitely trying to kill me!" he wailed internally. Spend a night with Unohana? I'd rather arm-wrestle Zaraki!
As Yumi called for another round, and Unohana watched with that enigmatic smile, Kazana realized his carefree, lazy days were long gone. He was stuck in a world of overpowered maniacs, with a system that seemed to delight in throwing him into absurd, deadly situations. But the rewards… Geppo, spiritual power, maybe even a shot at becoming strong enough to survive this madness—and, dare he dream, find a beautiful wife like Unohana (though she'd probably scare him into marriage rather than sweep her off her feet).
For now, he'd have to keep his head down, avoid Aizen's notice (wherever that schemer was), and figure out how to survive the Seireitei's chaos. "One step at a time, Kazana," he muttered, dodging another swing from Yumi. "Just don't die… and maybe, just maybe, you'll get that awesome life you're dreaming of."
As the crowd cheered his frantic dodging, Kazana couldn't help but wonder: Was this reincarnation a curse, or the wildest adventure he'd ever have?
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End of Chapter 1
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