The Going Merry crested the last of the East Blue waves as the monstrous silhouette of Reverse Mountain loomed ahead—a colossal peak where the sea itself defied logic, roaring upward in a spiraling current that led straight into the Grand Line.
Nami, now fully recovered from her cookie high (but still haunted by the memory of navigating the ship while being high on Takuya's cookie), clutched the helm with white-knuckled intensity. "Alright, listen up! This is where things get really stupid!"
Luffy, vibrating with excitement, bounced on the figurehead. "SHISHISHI! WE'RE GONNA RIDE A WATERFALL UPSIDE DOWN!"
Usopp, already hyperventilating, gripped the railing like a lifeline. "NONONO—THIS ISN'T HAPPENING—"
Zoro, arms crossed, smirked. "Tch. Finally something interesting."
Sanji exhaled smoke, eyeing the swirling currents. "As long as the shitty baker doesn't poison us again, I'm good."
Takuya, lounging nearby with Mira draped over his shoulder, chuckled. "No promises, chef~"
As the ship hit the upward current, the crew braced—
—except Luffy, who suddenly inhaled an entire bag of Takuya's non-drugged cookies in one gulp.
"Mmm! Sugar rush!" His pupils dilated, his limbs vibrating at mach speed. "I CAN SEE SOUNDS!"
Nami's eye twitched. "LUFFY, THIS ISN'T THE TIME—"
Too late. Luffy rocketed off the figurehead, ricocheting off the mast, the sails, and Zoro's head in a chaotic blur.
"OW! DAMN IT, LUFFY!" Zoro snarled, rubbing his skull.
Usopp screamed as Luffy rebounded off his face, sending him crashing into a barrel. "MY NOSE! MY BEAUTIFUL NOSE!"
Sanji vs. Mira – The Cookie Temptation
Sanji spun on his heel, his leg a blur as he delivered a precise kick toward Mira's wrist—just enough to send the suspicious cookie flying overboard without actually hurting her.
"NICE TRY, WITCH!" he snarled, though his usual venom was slightly diluted by the fact that (1) she was a woman, and (2) she was very pretty.
Mira gasped dramatically, clutching her hand to her chest as if wounded. "So cruel, Sanji~" she cooed, her lower lip trembling just enough to make his resolve waver. "And here I thought you were a gentleman..."
Sanji's eye twitched. "I—! You—! That's not—!" His foot, still raised from the kick, hesitated mid-air.
Mira seized the opportunity, leaning forward just enough to give him a very clear view down her corset. "Are you sure you don't want a taste?" she whispered, fluttering her lashes.
For a single, horrifying moment, Sanji's brain short-circuited. His face went red, his leg wobbled, and—
WHACK!
Nami's fist connected with the back of his skull. "DON'T FALL FOR IT, IDIOT!"
Sanji crumpled to the deck, groaning. "Worth… the pain…"
Mira giggled, skipping back to Takuya's side. "He's fun~"
Takuya sighed, rubbing his temples. "I'm surrounded by idiots. But what can I say, there's a reason why I joined this crew."
Meanwhile, Back at Marine HQ…
Smoker stood before Fleet Admiral Sengoku's Den Den Mushi again, his fists clenched, cigar smoke curling around him like a storm cloud. The reports of the Going Merry escaping into the Grand Line lay scattered across the desk.
"They're gone," Sengoku said flatly. "For now."
Smoker's jaw tightened. "Not for long."
Akainu, looming nearby, growled. "You let a baker humiliate the Marines."
Smoker didn't flinch. "I'll fix it."
Sengoku leaned forward. "How?"
Smoker's eyes burned. "I'm transferring to the Grand Line. Personally."
A stunned silence.
Then—
"Approved."
Smoker turned on his heel, coat flaring. "I don't care if I have to chase them to the ends of the earth. That cookie-peddling bastard and Straw Hat are mine."
The door slammed behind him.
Kizaru, sipping tea in the corner, smirked. "Ohhh~ Someone's maaaad~"
The door hadn't even finished vibrating from Smoker's exit when Admiral Akainu's fist SLAMMED into the conference table, melting through the polished wood.
"BAKERY-THEMED CHAOS!" he roared, magma dripping from his sleeves. "This is why we should've ERADICATED all pastry chefs after the Whole Cake Incident!"
From his corner tea set, Admiral Kizaru stirred his cup with one long finger. "Ohhhh~ But the wedding cake was sooo tasty~" His smirk widened as Akainu's eye twitched violently. "Though I do wonder... if we arrested every baker... who'd make our doughnuts~?"
Fleet Admiral Sengoku's remaining patience visibly snapped. His prized stress-ball (shaped like Garp's head) EXPLODED in his grip. "ENOUGH! Aokiji, you're strangely quiet."
The sleeping admiral cracked one eye open from his leaning position against the wall. "Mmm... just thinking... if we freeze the cookie supply at the source..."
Kizaru's teacup paused mid-sip. "Ohhh~ Scary~"
Akainu rounded on him. "DON'T YOU START WITH THAT—"
Outside the War Room
Lieutenants pressed their ears against the door as the argument escalated inside. One rookie whispered: "Did... did Admiral Aokiji just suggest freezing an entire island's worth of cookie addicts?"
Their superior officer paled. "Just walk away, son. Walk away before the PTSD sets in."
Meanwhile, in the Hallway
Smoker stormed past a very confused group of visiting chefs from Marine Cuisine Monthly magazine.
Head Chef Zeffino gasped. "CaptainSmoker! Might we interest you in our new cookbook—"
"BAKERS," Smoker growled, smoke pouring from his nostrils like an enraged dragon, "ARE THE ENEMY."
The chefs collectively fainted as he stomped past, his seastone jutte crackling with barely contained rage.
Back in the War Room
The argument had somehow evolved into Akainu attempting to melt Kizaru's teacup while Sengoku desperately tried to strangle his own hat.
Aokiji sighed and pulled his sleeping mask down. "Wake me when we're actually doing something about the cookie crisis."
As the door finally gave way under the admirals' escalating conflict, the watching lieutenants made a unanimous decision:
They were switching to coffee. Immediately. Permanently.
The Next Morning – Marine Bulletin
The newspapers hit the streets with a thunderous impact.
"PIRATE CHEF TAKUYA – PUBLIC ENEMY #1"
His bounty poster fluttered in the wind:
[TAKUYA – "THE SWEET TOOTH"]
BOUNTY: ฿150,000,000
CRIME: MASS DRUGGING OF A NAVAL PORT, DISRUPTING THE WORKING OF A TOWN, TURNING THE WHOLE TOWN INTO DRUG ADDICTS.
Beside it, the Straw Hats' updated bounties:
[MONKEY D. LUFFY – ฿100,000,000]
(+ Note: "DO NOT ACCEPT FOOD FROM HIM")
[RORONOA ZORO – ฿60,000,000]
[NAMI – ฿30,000,000]
[SANJI – ฿40,000,000]
[USOPP – ฿25,000,000]
And at the bottom, a new addition:
[MIRA – "THE COOKIE MAID"]
฿50,000,000
(Note: "DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT")
Back on the Merry, the crew stared at their new bounties in disbelief.
Usopp trembled. "F-Fifty million?! For her?!"
Mira giggled, twirling a lock of hair. "Oh my~ I'm dangerous now~"
Nami groaned. "Great. Now the entire world is after us."
Luffy, still sugar-high, laughed. "SHISHISHI! THIS IS GONNA BE FUN!"
Takuya smirked, flipping a cookie in the air. "Oh, you have no idea."
As Reverse Mountain's peak loomed, the sea roared upward—and the Going Merry shot into the Grand Line, leaving chaos, cookies, and one very angry Smoker in their wake.
The Going Merry burst through the crest of Reverse Mountain, soaring through the air before crashing back down into the calm waters of the Grand Line. The crew collectively gasped as they took in their first sight of the legendary Twin Capes—and the massive, scarred whale that loomed before them.
"WHOOOOOOOA!" Luffy cheered, his sugar rush making him vibrate on the spot. "GIANT WHALE! CAN WE EAT IT?!"
"NO!" the crew shouted in unison.
Before anyone could stop him, Luffy rocketed off the ship, stretching his arms toward Laboon. "HEY WHALE! WANNA BE FRIENDS?!"
THUD!
Luffy splatted against Laboon's head like a bug on a windshield.
"LUFFY!" Nami screamed, torn between concern and exasperation.
Just then, a door in the side of the lighthouse creaked open, and out stepped Crocus, the eccentric old doctor, his sunglasses glinting in the sunlight.
"Hmph. Another batch of reckless rookies, I see," he grumbled, eyeing the Straw Hats with mild disinterest.
Takuya, ever the opportunist, leaned over the railing with a smirk. "Hey, old man. Want a cookie?"
He tossed one toward Crocus, who caught it effortlessly. The doctor inspected it with a critical eye, sniffed it, then took a small bite.
Silence.
Then—
"DANGEROUSLY SWEET!" Crocus suddenly barked, holding up the cookie like it was a medical specimen. "The sugar content here could send a normal human into cardiac arrest! The butter-to-flour ratio is borderline criminal! And—" He took another bite. "—the texture is PERFECT."
Before anyone could react, Crocus shoved three more cookies into his mouth at once, chewing with the intensity of a starving man.
"WHAT THE HELL, OLD MAN?!" Sanji and Zoro shouted in unison.
"YOU JUST SAID IT WAS DANGEROUS!" Sanji added, his eye twitching.
Crocus swallowed, then adjusted his sunglasses. "I'm 71 years old. At this point, death by cookie sounds like a pretty good way to go."
"THAT MAKES NO SENSE!" Zoro snapped.
Crocus shrugged. "Neither does a whale living in a mountain, yet here we are."
Laboon's Turn
Luffy, now sliding down Laboon's face, suddenly perked up. "HEY WHALE! WANNA TRY ONE?!"
Before anyone could stop him, Luffy hurled a cookie the size of a barrel (courtesy of Takuya's emergency stash) straight into Laboon's open mouth.
Silence.
Then—
"BWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!"
Laboon's delighted cry shook the very ocean, sending waves crashing against the cliffs. The whale's tail slapped the water with enough force to nearly capsize the Merry, and his massive eye sparkled with childlike joy.
"Oh no," Usopp whispered. "We've created a monster."
"SHISHISHI! HE LIKES IT!" Luffy cheered, now riding on Laboon's back like a surfboard.
Crocus's Diagnosis
The old doctor adjusted his sunglasses again, watching as Laboon began happily chasing his own tail in a cookie-fueled frenzy.
"Hmph. I diagnose him with extreme happiness," Crocus declared. "Prescription: More cookies."
"THAT'S NOT A REAL DIAGNOSIS!" Nami shrieked.
"You're not a real doctor, are you?!" Usopp added, clutching his head.
Crocus ignored them, instead turning to Takuya. "Kid, if you ever need a retirement plan, open a bakery next to a whale. You'll make millions."
Takuya smirked. "Noted."
The Aftermath
As the crew tried (and failed) to calm down Laboon, Sanji and Zoro found themselves sneaking cookies from Takuya's stash when they thought no one was looking.
"Tch. Not bad," Zoro muttered, swallowing his third one.
"I'm only eating it to analyze the ingredients!" Sanji lied through a mouthful of crumbs.
Mira giggled, watching the chaos unfold. "Master~ We've corrupted them all~"
Takuya sighed, but there was a hint of pride in his voice. "And we're just getting started."
A/N: If my story brought even a hint of a smile to your face, drop a comment—I'd love to hear it! Knowing I brightened someone's day fuels my creativity! My only goal is to make people smile and find happiness in this dull world. Not to mention I want to reach Oda sensei's level of storytelling.
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