The raging typhoon had passed, leaving the Going Merry battered but miraculously intact. The early morning sun peeked through the dissipating clouds, casting a golden glow over the exhausted crew—well, most of them.
"WOOOO! THAT WAS AWESOME!" Luffy cheered, bouncing on the deck like an over-caffeinated monkey. His pupils were still dilated, his movements jerky with unnatural energy. "LET'S DO IT AGAIN!"
"NO!" the rest of the crew (minus Nami) shouted in unison.
Nami, still riding the high of Takuya's "special" cookie, was sprawled across the ship's railing, giggling uncontrollably as she scribbled nonsensical calculations onto her maps. "Guys... guys... I just figured out how to triangulate the wind! Do you know what this means?! We could sail the sky!"
Sanji, drenched and bruised from fighting the storm sober, dragged a hand down his face. "Nami-swan... please come down from there before you—"
"TO THE MOON!" Nami suddenly declared, pointing dramatically at the sky.
"NOT THE MOON!" Usopp wailed, lunging to grab her ankle before she could attempt a launch.
Zoro, who had spent the last hour physically restraining Luffy from punching the ocean, collapsed onto the deck with a groan. "I need a drink."
"A drink?!" Sanji whirled on him, his eyes twitching. "WE ALMOST DIED BECAUSE OF THOSE DAMN COOKIES, AND YOU WANT A—"
"Mmm~ More cookies~"
Everyone froze.
Luffy, Nami, and—somehow—Usopp (when had he eaten one?!) were now huddled around Takuya's cookie box like addicts at a dealer's doorstep.
"Usopp?! Sanji's voice cracked. "YOU TOO?!"
Usopp blinked up at him, his nose twitching. "I... I don't know what happened! One minute I was praying for my life, the next... ohhhh the colors, Sanji!" He waved his hands in front of his face like he was conducting an invisible orchestra.
Takuya, leaning against the mast with Mira draped over his shoulder like a satisfied cat, chuckled. "See? Told you they'd help."
Sanji's eye developed a dangerous tick. "I. Will. Murder. You."
"Try it, chef~" Takuya purred, twirling a cookie between his fingers. "But fair warning... I taste delicious."
Sanji's soul nearly left his body.
"THAT'S IT!" He launched himself at Takuya, only for Zoro to yank him back by the collar.
"Cool it, dartbrow," Zoro grunted. "We've got bigger problems." He jerked his chin toward the horizon.
A Marine battleship loomed in the distance.
And standing at its prow, his coat flapping in the wind, was Smoker—his face a picture of murderous intent.
"Oh," Takuya said, popping another cookie into his mouth. "That's not good."
"SHISHISHI! MARINES!" Luffy cheered, already stretching his arms to catapult himself toward them.
Nami, still high, gasped. "Do you think they have treasure?!"
Usopp fainted.
Sanji looked ready to join him.
And Zoro?
Zoro just sighed, unsheathing his swords.
"Worst. Crew. Ever."
Marine Headquarters – Flashback (Few Hours After Takuya escaped with Luffy.)
The war room was silent as a tomb. Fleet Admiral Sengoku's fingers steepled under his chin, his expression unreadable as a denden mushi looking just like Smoker stood before him.
The real Smoker was at the marine base near logue town stood in front of a big Den Den mushi, with a cigar clenched between his teeth, his usual coat torn and singed from the chaos in Loguetown.
Admiral Aokiji leaned against the wall, half-asleep but listening. Kizaru lounged in a chair, idly examining his nails, while Akainu's scowl deepened with every word Smoker spoke.
"The entire port is non-operational," Smoker growled, slamming a fist onto the table. "The citizens are rioting, the local garrison is useless, and the Straw Hats just sailed off with the bastard who caused it all."
Sengoku's eyebrow twitched. "Explain. Again. Slowly."
Smoker exhaled a plume of smoke, his eye twitching. "Takuya. Some no-name pirate with a bakery gimmick. Except his cookies aren't just cookies—they're laced with something addictive. One bite, and people turn into rabid addicts. The whole damn town's hooked."
Aokiji blinked. "…Cookies?"
"COOKIES?!" Akainu roared, slamming his fist down hard enough to crack the table. "YOU'RE TELLING ME A PIRATE SHUT DOWN LOGUETOWN WITH DESSERT?!"
Kizaru's lips curled in amusement. "Ohhhh~ Scary~"
Sengoku massaged his temples. "And the Straw Hats have him now?"
Smoker nodded grimly. "Firstly he isn't a pirate, second they took him willingly. Either they're idiots, or they think they can use him."
"They're idiots," Aokiji and Kizaru said in unison.
Akainu's fist burst into molten rage. "Then why aren't you pursuing them?!"
Smoker's teeth ground together. "Because Loguetown's in open revolt. The second Takuya left, the withdrawal symptoms hit.
The citizens are blaming the Marines for 'taking their cure.' They've blockaded the docks, sabotaged our ships—they'd rather starve than let us leave to chase him. They are neither letting any reinforcements come to us, nor letting us go out "
A beat of horrified silence.
Sengoku's face paled. "You're telling me… an entire island is now holding the Navy hostage… just for cookies."
Smoker didn't answer. He didn't need to.
Akainu stood abruptly, his chair exploding into splinters. "ENOUGH. I'll handle this myself."
"No." Sengoku's voice was steel. "If we send an Admiral, the world will panic. This stays contained." He turned to Den Den Mushi that looked like Smoker. "You're reinstated as Loguetown's acting commander. Quell the riots. Then—" His eyes darkened. "You personally hunt down Takuya and the Straw Hats before they reach the Grand Line."
Smoker smirked. "Wasn't planning otherwise."
---
Present – Aboard the Going Merry
The Marine battleship loomed closer, its cannons primed. Smoker stood at the prow, his seastone jutte gleaming in the sunlight.
"STRAW HAT!" His voice boomed across the waves. "HAND OVER TAKUYA, OR I SINK YOUR SHIP WHERE IT STANDS!"
On deck, chaos reigned.
Luffy was vibrating with leftover cookie energy. "SHISHISHI! FIGHT TIME!"
Nami was still giggling, her pupils blown wide. "Do Marines carry treasure? They must, right? Right?!"
Usopp was hyperventilating into a barrel. "We're gonna die. We're gonna die. We're gonna—"
"SHUT UP!" Sanji and Zoro snapped in unison.
Takuya, meanwhile, lounged against the mast, lazily twirling a cookie between his fingers. "Well. This is awkward."
Mira nuzzled his shoulder. "Master~ Should we jump ship?"
"NO JUMPING!" Nami shrieked, suddenly lucid enough to remember she hated losing money.
Smoker's ship drew closer. The cannons creaked as they took aim.
And then—
"LUFFY! LOOK OUT!" Usopp screamed.
A cannonball whistled through the air—
—only for Luffy to catch it mid-flight and hurl it back with a rubbery spin.
BOOM!
The Marine ship's mast exploded into splinters.
Smoker's eye twitched. "…You little—"
"TO THE GRAND LINE!" Luffy whooped, stretching his arms to grab the Merry's sails. "FULL SPEED AHEAD!"
As the Going Merry surged forward, Takuya suddenly stood up on the railing, balancing perfectly despite the ship's rocking. With a mischievous grin, he cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted across the waves:
"HEY SMOKER! YOU LOOK STRESSED! WANT A COOKIE?!"
He pulled out a perfectly golden cookie from his pocket and waved it tauntingly.
Smoker's face turned an impressive shade of purple. "YOU LITTLE—"
Before he could finish, a Marine recruit beside him suddenly lunged for the cookie, arms outstretched like a zombie. "COOOOKIEEE—!"
Smoker backhanded him off the ship without breaking eye contact with Takuya. "DON'T FALL FOR IT, YOU IDIOTS!"
Luffy's Brilliant Idea
Luffy's eyes sparkled. "OH! OH! TAKUYA! THROW ME!"
Takuya blinked. "…What?"
"THROW ME AT THEIR SHIP! I'LL STEAL THEIR FLAG!"
Nami, still slightly high, giggled. "DO IT! IT'LL BE FUNNY!"
Zoro facepalmed. "We're gonna die."
Takuya shrugged. "Alright, sure." He grabbed Luffy by the ankles, spun him like a discus, and—
"GYAAAAAAAAH—SHISHISHI!" Luffy went flying like a rubbery cannonball, arms flailing.
The Marines screamed as Luffy splatted against the deck like a pancake, then immediately rebounded and clotheslined three soldiers at once.
"CAPTAIN! HE'S LOOSE ON THE DECK!"
Smoker snarled and turned into smoke, shooting toward Luffy—
—only for Luffy to dodge at the last second, grab the Marine flagpole, and yank it clean out of the ship's hull.
"GOT IT! BYE SMOKEY!" Luffy stretched his arms back toward the Merry, letting the recoil catapult him away.
Smoker's eye twitched so hard it looked painful.
As Luffy landed back on the Merry, Takuya gave Smoker a sarcastic salute. "Better luck next time, Captain~ Oh, and—" He tossed a single cookie onto the Marine ship's deck.
Silence.
Then—CHAOS.
Marines tackled each other like wild animals, scrambling for the treat. The scent of the cookie was so strong it was so addictive that they couldn't control themselves. Smoker had to smoke-fist three of his own men to stop them from eating it.
Meanwhile, on the Merry…
Usopp was hyperventilating. "WE'RE ALL GONNA GET A BOUNTY AFTER THIS!"
Sanji lit a new cigarette with shaking hands. "We already have bounties, idiot."
"NOT LIKE THIS!" Usopp wailed.
Nami, finally coming down from her cookie high, groaned. "Oh no… I was navigating the ship while being high, wasn't I?"
Mira giggled. "You did~ And it was very cozy~"
Nami's soul briefly left her body.
As the Marine ship faded into the distance (still embroiled in cookie-induced mutiny), the Going Merry sailed onward—toward Reverse Mountain, toward the Grand Line…
…and toward absolute madness.
Takuya leaned back, watching the horizon with a smirk. "This is gonna be fun."
---
Meanwhile – Loguetown
The streets were pandemonium.
Citizens clawed at Marine barricades, their eyes wild, their voices hoarse from screaming.
"GIVE HIM BACK! YOU WANT TO STEAL OUR RIGHTFUL COOKIES RIGHT?" a woman shrieked, hurling a rock at a cowering recruit.
"WE NEED THE COOKIES!" a burly fisherman roared, flipping over a supply cart.
The local Marine captain, his uniform torn, radioed in despair:
"HQ… WE CAN'T HOLD THEM! THEY'RE—"
A potted plant smashed into his face.
"—THEY'RE INSANE!"
Somewhere in the crowd, Buggy the Clown - still missing three of his fake nose attachments and with a perfect shoe print stamped on his forehead - watched the cookie-crazed riot unfold with growing horror. His prized clown makeup was smeared with tears and what might've been frosting.
"What kind of absolute madman..." Buggy whispered, watching a grandmother body-slam a Marine twice her size for the last crumb of a cookie, "turns an entire island into frothing, rabid bakery addicts?!"
His first mate Mohji, currently missing half his lion's mane (apparently someone thought Richie's fur hid cookies), sniffled. "Captain... I'm scared."
Cabaji the Acrobat nodded solemnly, rotating his unicycle wheel that was now bent into a taco shape from being trampled. "First the Straw Hat brat, now this? The East Blue isn't what it used to be..."
Buggy's eye twitched violently as he watched a group of fishermen using a stolen Marine cannon to launch themselves toward the next island - presumably in search of more cookies. His hands trembled as he reached into his pockets and pulled out a crumpled, half-eaten fortune cookie from God-knows-when.
"New crew rule!" Buggy suddenly screamed, stomping his oversized shoes dramatically. "From now on, we avoid ALL bakers! No pastry chefs! No dessert stands! If it so much as smells like vanilla extract, WE SAIL THE OTHER WAY!"
Richie the lion whimpered in agreement, still licking cookie crumbs out of his paw pads.
Buggy pointed dramatically at the burning remains of Loguetown's bakery district. "Let the records show - I, Captain Buggy the Genius Jester - will NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES-" he paused to duck a flying muffin tin "-EVER piss off a baker again!"
A/N: If my story brought even a hint of a smile to your face, drop a comment—I'd love to hear it! Knowing I brightened someone's day fuels my creativity! My only goal is to make people smile and find happiness in this dull world. Not to mention I want to reach Oda sensei's level of storytelling.
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