Joe walked in a good mood, after one month of retirement from his long unemployment.
05:25 PM
Even if I still won't be able to buy a house even after saving for 20 years with my current salary… at least I have a job, he smiled faintly, walking toward an intersection, ready to cross the street.
A loud honk suddenly blared—Joe reflexively turned his head toward the sound.
"Wha—?"
He didn't even get the chance to finish saying 'The fuck' or 'The hell' before he found himself face to face with a truck.
Before he could move, the truck gave Joe a kiss—accompanied by an ear-piercing honk.
Brugghh…
Joe's body was flung by that kiss.
He flew through the air, performing an unpredictable dance choreography, until he finally landed in the arms of the sidewalk—held tightly by gravity's embrace.
His vision started to blur.
"Shit… After I decide to have a better life, why…?"
Joe looked at the truck that had just kissed him.
It had come to a stop after crashing into a nearby building.
People started running.
Their modern human instincts kicked in—pulling out the latest smartphones, recording the helpless Joe, instead of calling for emergency help.
Meanwhile, a woman just stood frozen, stunned by what she saw, until finally—
"AAAA—!"
Her scream erupted, echoing like a requiem to accompany Joe's fading consciousness.
Slowly, Joe's consciousness returned.
His eyelids, which had been kissing each other so dearly, slowly ended their embrace.
Joe's blurry vision began to clear.
His eyes widened.
He checked his body. "Wait, what?"
Then glanced around—smoke billowed from the ground.
Joe was standing on a strange platform.
A square-shaped area beneath him was filled with gray mist, surrounded by an emptiness painted in absolute black.
Then, he looked forward.
His gaze slowly rose.
There—stood a black throne, and on it… a pale-skinned woman wearing a long black dress.
"Human," she called out, rising slowly from the throne.
Her body was tall—unnaturally tall.
Her long legs descended the steps with deliberate elegance.
Joe could only stand there, head tilted upward, staring at the woman.
The woman stepped closer to Joe.
Joe took a step back—his gaze unable to turn away from her.
Until finally, she stood just one meter in front of him.
She stretched out her arms wide, as if to embrace a collapsed temple pillar.
"Poor human soul… congratulations, you have been randomly chosen to bring enlightenment to the world I love."
She grinned at Joe, who was still lost in confusion.
"Chosen? Enlightenment?" Joe frowned.
The woman smiled.
"I shall explain slowly,"
Her right hand moved to the center of her chest, palm open.
"I, The Goddess, Moistria Semenara, creator of life and rightful owner of Cumbria."
She spoke the strange name with full grandeur—causing Joe to frown instantly.
"Se… what? Cumbria? What brainrot sh—"
Before he could finish grumbling in that all-too-human tone of irritation, the woman moved—in a flash—appearing behind Joe.
Her right hand covered Joe's mouth, while her left gripped his shoulder—sending a cold sensation through his entire body.
"Watch your mouth."
Her large hand made it easy to pull Joe's head upward, forcing him to gaze at the void above.
The back of his head now rested against her navel—the navel of The Goddess, Moistria Semenara.
"My dear, listen…" she said, releasing her grip on Joe. She slowly walked in front of him.
"I, Moistria Semenara," she said while gazing at Joe with eyes both gentle and intimidating.
Joe was still looking up to meet her gaze. He nodded.
The woman once again placed her right hand at the center of her chest, but this time her left moved with flair—like a poet performing a verse.
"I, The First…"
She clenched her left hand into a fist.
"Who cum…"
"HUH?"
Joe flinched, his outburst cutting off the woman mid-sentence.
She glared sharply at him.
Joe trembled slightly.
She's a goddess? Cum? What? Came? Did I mishear?
His mind was spiraling.
"No," the woman said.
"You heard the right word. Cum. Because all life in Cumbria… was born from my cum," she continued, smiling.
"A.. eum… Okay." Joe stuttered, confused and nervous. "A.. I… am I dead? Or i-is this a dream?" he asked.
"You are dead. Your soul has been chosen randomly. I've already explained that, haven't I?" the woman said, calmly.
"And… if you reject the Holy Mission I am about to give you, you may return to the cycle of life on Earth."
"Holy Mission? What is it?" Joe asked.
The woman knelt down—yet even then, she wasn't lower than Joe.
Joe was still shorter than her.
He gulped as he saw her kneel.
Slowly, her hand—large, yet proportionate to her towering frame—reached for Joe's cheek.
"Humans from Cumbria are powerful. Cumbria is what your people call a fantasy world. The humans of Cumbria were stronger… and now, they're weakening.
Men marry and love flesh born from their own seed. Women marry and love flesh that once resided in their wombs…"
The woman gently stroked Joe's cheek.
"But it doesn't end there. They protect the purity of bloodlines I never even blessed. Flesh born from the same hole unites… dancing in lust and giving birth to even weaker flesh."
She pulled Joe's face closer.
Joe's feet slid forward.
His face now mere inches from the woman's enormous eyes.
"Your Holy Mission… is to reduce such occurrences. And… also you will be special there, you will be…"
The woman grinned.
"…the only man who can still produce seed."
Joe was stunned.