One moment, I was bleeding out on a battlefield in Azerbaijan, cursing the traitor who shot me. The next—splat—face-first in warm sand, spitting out saltwater and confusion.
The impact knocked the wind out of me, grains sticking to my lips. I groaned, rolling onto my back, my muscles screaming in protest. The tropical sun blazed overhead, relentless and unforgiving.
"Okay," I muttered, shielding my eyes. "This is new."
Initial Assessment
I took stock of my situation with slow, deliberate breaths:
1. Not dead. (Surprise!) My chest rose and fell, my heartbeat steady—no gaping wound, no blood loss. Just... alive.
2. New body. Leaner, taller, and—oh god, is that an Uchiha crest tattoo? I twisted my arm, staring at the familiar fan symbol etched into my skin.
3. Stranded on a deserted island. White sand, crystal-blue waves, palm trees swaying in the breeze. Classic.
I pinched my arm—hard. "Yep. Definitely not dreaming."
Trial #1: Fire Jutsu
With dramatic flair, I formed the hand signs—Ram → Snake → Monkey → Boar → Horse → Tiger—and took a deep breath.
"Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu!"
A pathetic puff of smoke coughed from my lips. Not even an ember. Just... disappointment.
I stared at my hands. "...Well, that's embarrassing."
Trial #5: Tree Walking
After days of meditation and chakra control exercises, I felt ready. I channeled energy to my feet, took a running start—
—and faceplanted into the trunk.
"Ow."
A coconut chose that exact moment to detach itself from the tree and bonk me on the head.
Nature: 1, Uchiha: 0.
Day 7: The Great Monkey War
I had just gathered a handful of berries when a screech echoed through the trees.
I froze.
Twenty furry faces peered down from the branches, eyes gleaming with mischief.
"Uh. Hi?" I waved awkwardly.
The first mango hit me square in the forehead.
What followed was a chaotic, humiliating chase featuring:
Me screaming like a madman
Monkeys hurling fruit artillery with terrifying accuracy
My Sharingan finally activating—two tomoe spinning wildly—as I dodged a barrage of projectiles
I tripped over a root, face-planting into the sand, as the monkeys celebrated by pelting my butt with bananas.
Day 10: Bear Encounter
I was waist-deep in a stream, scrubbing off days of grime, when I heard it—a low, rumbling sniff.
My blood turned to ice.
A 600-pound bear was nosing through my clothes, its massive frame blocking my escape.
"Shit."
I leapt out, dripping wet, and formed shaky hand signs. "Katon: Hōsenka no Jutsu!"
POOF!
My "fireballs" were more like party sparklers, fizzling pathetically in the air.
But the bear... squeaked.
It actually squeaked, turned tail, and waddled away like I'd just threatened it with a bad magic trick.
I stood there, half-naked and bewildered. "...Did I just scare a bear with bad fireworks?"
Epilogue: Campfire Revelations
That night, I sat by a struggling fire (courtesy of my still-pitiful flame jutsu), roasting fish on a stick. The stars stretched endlessly above, the ocean whispering against the shore.
Three undeniable truths settled in my mind:
1. I was dead. Or at least, my old self was.
2. This was the One Piece world. The giant bear, the absurd wildlife—it all made sense.
3. My Uchiha powers worked... sort of. If "working" meant barely functional and highly embarrassing.
A rustle in the bushes made me tense—until a tiny monkey emerged, clutching a coconut.
I sighed. "Truce?"
It hurled the coconut at my face.
As I rubbed my sore nose, I couldn't help but laugh. Maybe this second chance wouldn't be so bad.
(But if I ever met Ace, I'd never tell him about the monkey wars.)