The golden clouds drifted lazily outside the window, casting soft, dappled light into the peaceful cloud-house nestled atop the crimson-blooming tree. The wind gently rustled the red leaves that held the names of countless mortals, whispering of fated love and mischief.
Inside the floating abode, a familiar scene played out.
"Come on, you lazy bones. Get up and do your job," Lin Yu huffed, sleeves flaring as he gently laid down the sacred Holy Book of Matrimony beside a carefully arranged pile of fluttering red leaves — each leaf marked with two names paired by destiny.
Hua Lou was sprawled nearby, half-melted into a luxurious cloud-cushion, limbs tangled carelessly. His white robe was wrinkled, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and his pants were bunched at the knees, pale legs stretched out toward a nearby sunbeam as if he were absorbing spiritual energy through his toes.
"Can I skip today?" he murmured, voice so light it nearly floated off with the breeze.
"No," Lin Yu deadpanned.
Then came the ever-faithful slap of sleeve against face.
Hua Lou blinked, expression deadpan as he slowly turned to glare at the young man standing over him.
"One day, I swear, I'm going to cut that sleeve off."
"Try it. See if Heaven doesn't rebirth you as a toad next time," Lin Yu sniffed, not even bothering to look at him as he gathered another cluster of fate leaves and began sorting them.
After thoroughly patting down the stack and humming in approval at a particularly spicy pairing — a warrior and a goat-herder — he lifted the Holy Book of Matrimony with reverent hands and began inscribing the names with a divine ink brush. Golden characters shimmered as they sank into the aged pages.
"Wait— I'll be back in a bit."
Hua Lou sat up, his long hair slipping off his shoulders in an elegant tumble. "Where are you going?"
"I'm going to get your darn food," Lin Yu snapped, already halfway to the door with his long robe fluttering like a disgruntled crane. "You ate everything in the house, and you'll whine if there's nothing left."
"I do not whine."
"You do whine."
"I whine tastefully."
The door shut with a thud.
Silence returned.
Hua Lou gave the door one last squint, then sank back into his cushion with a melodramatic sigh. All around him, red leaves shimmered faintly, each one pulsing with the names of destined couples. But he merely brushed a few off his lap and stretched.
"Let's see…" he murmured, his gaze drifting toward a low-hanging branch outside the floating platform window. There, nestled between two blazing red leaves, was a curious glowing fruit — pale gold and shaped like a teardrop, its surface glistening faintly in the light.
His eyes narrowed.
Hua Lou lay back down with a groan, limbs flopping across the soft cloud floor like a melodramatic swan. His gaze drifted up to the ceiling of their sky-home — a domed lattice of red-glass branches interwoven with drifting cloud veils and tiny floating lanterns shaped like hearts. A squirrel-sized cloud beast trotted past above him with a pinecone.
He didn't move.
His eyes glazed a little.
He had been through his Heavenly Tribulation long ago — the pain, the lightning, the screaming, the post-tribulation hair care routine — all of it. But he had also gone through something much harder: a Love Tribulation in the mortal world.
He squinted.
"…I forgot it."
Just like that. As if it had been wiped clean.
He furrowed his brows, eyes dimming with confusion. The only thing he could remember was a pair of warm hands. Hands that had held his so gently, like they were afraid he might break. Fingers brushing against his palm, locking their pinkies. That was all.
Nothing else.
Not a face.
Not a name.
Just the memory of touch.
With a sigh, he looked down at his own hand. Pale, long-fingered, calloused slightly from centuries of wielding celestial brushes and fending off Lin Yu's sleeve.
He pouted.
"…Why can't I remember anything else?"
He wanted to remember that person… he wanted to find out what happened.
Most immortals wouldn't bother with something so silly — who cared about their past Love Tribulations? Once it was over, it was over. No one wanted to remember all the tears, heartbreak, and awkward mortal pining.
But Hua Lou…
He wasn't like them.
After his own tribulation ended, he had felt it — a strange hollowness that clung to the edges of his soul.
He had ascended. He had passed. He had returned to the celestial realm in a blaze of glory.
And yet…
He wasn't satisfied..
Something had been missing.
Still was missing.
And he needed to know what it was.
His hand dropped back onto the cushion, and his gaze slowly drifted toward the open window. Beyond it, the great red tree swayed in the gentle heavenly breeze. Its branches cradled thousands of fate-bound leaves, each one a story waiting to unfold.
But above them all, on a branch that curled like a crescent moon, hung a single golden fruit.
That fruit.
His eyes narrowed.
That fruit had been cultivated for over a thousand years on the red tree of fate, nourishing it with spiritual energy, fate threads, and carefully selected mortal drama.
"Almost ripe…" he whispered, a lazy smirk playing on his lips.
This fruit was why he worked so hard — why he stopped being the lazy, wandering cloud spirit he used to be. Why he cultivated like a madman, rose through the ranks, and earned his current title:
The God of Love and Matrimony.
With this position, no one could question his right to that fruit. No one could stop him from claiming it.
Hua Lou casually reached under his robe and pulled out a small cloth bag tied with a red ribbon. He popped it open and leaned back again, lounging with one leg flung over the other.
Inside the bag were fragrant, roasted melon seeds. Spiced, salted, heavenly grade.
He began cracking them one by one with practiced grace. Each seed fell into his mouth with a satisfying crunch, while the shells gathered in a neat little pile on his robe.
A sudden rustling noise interrupted the moment, followed by the high-pitched chittering of little troublemakers.
Eyes narrowed he quietly pulled the salted melon seeds close to his body.
From above the branches and swirling clouds, a whole troop of celestial monkeys came tumbling down around his floating sky-house — long-tailed, sharp-eyed, fluffy-furred hooligans.
"Shoo. Shoo!" Hua Lou hissed, waving them off with his sleeves as they came pawing toward him. "My seeds. Mine. Go steal from Lin Yu for once, he deserves it."
They ignored him, of course.
One monkey a bald one — clearly the ringleader — smacked another on the head and reached boldly for the cloth bag.
Hua Lou slapped its hand away and scooted backwards, clutching the bag to his chest. "Don't test me. I may be lazy, but I can easily kick your monkey butt."
The monkeys only squealed louder.
One of them — the bold one with a weird bald spot and an attitude — made an offended noise like it was deeply insulted. Then, with a malicious glint in its eye, it scampered up the red tree, nimble as lightning.
Hua Lou's heart dropped.
His head whipped around just in time to see the monkey reach out toward the single fruit.
"No! Don't you dare touch my Heart Fruit!"
Panic hit like a divine thunderbolt. Without thinking, Hua Lou grabbed the nearest object off the table — a book — and hurled it.
It spun through the air like a golden comet and smacked the branch above the monkey's head with a thud.
The monkey screeched and flailed.
The book, however, tumbled to the edge of the floating platform.
It was only when it hit the ground with a heavy thump and a puff of fate dust that Hua Lou's stomach twisted into a thousand celestial knots.
"…oh no."
Eyes wide, he lunged forward and caught it just before it tipped off the edge. Clutching it to his chest, he slowly looked down at the shimmering gold cover now faintly scratched with dirt and monkey grime.
The Holy Book of Matrimony.
"…why is this always out to get me?"
He dusted it frantically, breathing relief when no pages appeared torn. Then, just as he sat back down to calm his racing heart—
Suddenly a furry paw reached over his shoulder.
Snatch!
The monkey ripped the book clean out of his hands.
"WHAT?!"
The troop screeched with triumph and took off across the sky path.
"HEY!! GIVE THAT BACK!" Hua Lou shrieked, bolting up so fast his legs tangled in his robes. He stumbled, tugged up his pants, and ran after them — abandoning all divine grace.
"I SWEAR ON THE JADE EMPRESS's NAME, YOU BETTER DROP THAT BOOK!!"
The monkeys bounced across cloudstones, giggling and chittering as they made their escape. The bald one — now public enemy number one — held the book aloft like a prize as it darted toward the Jade Crescent Bridge.
It was a breathtaking structure made of translucent moon-jade, curving over an endless whirlpool of light and shadow known only as:
The Eternal Downfall Spiral.
Which, in simpler terms, was the direct celestial portal where an immortal is banished to the Mortal Realm.
Hua Lou's steps faltered. "No. No, no, no. ANYTHING but there."
He skidded to a halt just before the bridge. The monkey stood on the other side, smug and daring, swinging the book in one paw while inspecting Hua Lou with the sharp eyes of a born scammer.
"Wait, wait, WAIT," Hua Lou said, frantically digging into his robe. "Look, look, look! I got something better!"
He held up the half-eaten bag of melon seeds.
The monkey blinked.
"You want seeds? You want the good stuff?" Hua Lou said, shaking the bag seductively like a forbidden treasure. "Its so Crunchy and delicious! Want it.. huh? Huh?"
The monkey licked its lips.
"That's right. We can do a little trade, yeah? You toss the book back to me—gently—and I'll throw you the seeds."
There was a pause.
Then a gleam of understanding passed between mortal enemy and celestial.
"Good monkey," Hua Lou whispered, nodding slowly. "That's right. Smart monkey."
He tossed the bag.
The monkey caught it.
It looked at the bag, then at him.
Then, grinning from ear to fuzzy ear, the monkey held the book over the swirling black void behind it…
"…don't you dare—"
And dropped it.
"NOOOOOOO—!"
Hua Lou screamed like a banshee as the Holy Book of Matrimony spiraled down into the Eternal Downfall Spiral, pages torn into pieces right in front of his eyes glowing faintly as they vanished into the Mortal Realm below.
The monkey sat on the bridge, crunching melon seeds with a smug little grin.
Hua Lou fell to his knees, hand outstretched.
"…I hope you choke on every single one of those seeds."
The monkey burped.
"I'm so dead….."