In the heart of the LatinQuarter, not far from the majestic dome of the Panthéon, the city lights of Paris had begun to glow casting golden trails across cobblestone streets.
Night crept in, wrapping the city in a familiar hush, like an old friend returning without a word.
From the balcony of my sixth-floor hotel room, I watched the quiet bustle along RueSoufflot, the narrow artery that connected the PanthéontoJardinduLuxembourg.
A few couples strolled by, shopping bags swinging from their hands, fresh from local boutiques scattered across the avenue.
In my hand, a torn piece of hotel stationery fluttered between my fingers, along with a small pen one I'd used earlier to scribble words I could never seem to finish.
Suddenly, a shadow appeared in the reflection of the window.
A woman stood behind me.
Valerie.
My breath hitched.
The pen slipped from my hand, falling with a soft clatter to the floor, echoing the shift in my gaze, from the luminous Paris skyline to the questioning eyes behind me.
She let her hair fall loose, dislodging the delicate butterfly clip that had adorned her chignon.
Now, her long waves cascaded around a face carved in sharp confidence.
Her gaze pierced mine.
The icy blue of her contact lenses examined me as if peeling back layers I hadn’t known I wore.
And she smiled.
Not the kind of smile meant to warm.
No, it was the kind that haunted.
The kind that made you question what was real.
She stepped closer.
Our bodies were separated only by a sliver of space.
I turned away from her and looked back toward the Panthéon, bathed in Parisian moonlight, hoping its presence could shield me from the pressure of her nearness.
I knew Valerie.
Once, I had wanted her.
Once, I had chased her.
But time had changed everything.
After she discarded me, treating me like a breeze that passed without notice something inside me had closed.
Now she stood here,
as if nothing had ever broken.
She removed her coat slowly, letting luxury and seduction cling to her like perfume.
But what I felt was not desire.
Not longing.
It was doubt.
A quiet discomfort that knotted inside me.
The closer she came, the farther my heart withdrew.
Valerie moved forward, as if erasing the last inch between us.
But this time, I did not take a step back.
It was my heart that shut its doors.
"Perché taci, mio amore? Il tuo sguardo... mi consuma di desiderio di stringerti tra le braccia,” she whispered, her arms folding around me.
She nudged me gently toward the window, where the Panthéon shimmered like a dream I no longer chased.
I recognized this pattern.
Valerie’s embrace was not new.
Once, I would have done anything to feel it.
Once, I was a man desperate for love from a woman like her.
But tonight, everything was different.
There was an emptiness in her warmth.
Familiar, but no longer welcome.
Her fingers moved delicately across my back, pulling me deeper into the moment.
But my heart remained cold.
Her silk-thin dress clung to her body a sight designed to undo most men.
But not me.
Not anymore.
Softly, I released her.
I turned away and walked toward the door.
The same door she had entered uninvited.
I opened it, wide.
The hotel corridor met us with a hush.
I paused.
Then, in a voice calm but resolute, I said,
"Fuori di qui, Valerie... Prendi il tuo cappotto. Desidero rimanere solo."
She stared at me.
Her piercing blue gaze no longer flirted, it bled.
Pride cracked behind her eyes.
But she said nothing.
She reached for her coat that had been left on the chair, slipped it on, and walked to the threshold.
She stood there.
Still staring.
I turned away, unable to meet the look of someone unraveling slowly into shame.
“Please…” I whispered.
And then she left, disappearing into the silence of a night that had once shimmered with light.
***
The next evening,
Valerie returned.
I had just come back from the grand performance at Salle Pleyel.
My thoughts were scattered, tangled in melodies and shadows.
And somehow, she was here again.
Inside my room.
How she’d gained access, I would never know.
Had she charmed a staff member?
Stolen a spare key?
Perhaps she assumed I’d be asleep, lost in midnight musings.
But she was wrong.
I was wide awake.
Restless.
“Perché ti ostini a venire senza essere invitata?!!”
My voice cut through the quiet like a blade.
“Vuoi forse che ti cacci via di nuovo...??”
Her voice was soft, yet thick with disbelief.
She approached quickly,
eyes blazing with fury.
The beauty that once entranced me now smoldered with rage.
Like a storm refusing to be turned away.
Especially not twice.
It thrilled her.
Challenged her.
And maybe that was what I needed her to understand.
That I was no longer the man she once broke.
“Non sono mai stato umiliato in questo modo da nessuno... eccetto che da te.,” she hissed, voice laced with fire and wounds unspoken.
I held her gaze.
“Desidero solo la solitudine, Valerie. Spero che tu possa comprendere”
“E se io rifiutassi...? Mi forzeresti?”
Her eyes searched mine for a crack any sign of surrender.
Her breath warmed my cheek, trembling with anger and rejection.
“Allora me ne andrò io. Cercherò un altro hotel a Parigi.”
My tone rose, this wasn’t a threat.
It was final.
But she didn’t flinch.
Instead, she pulled me in and collapsed onto the sofa in a pose that reeked of invitation.
Her legs parted, her eyes daring me.
She knew how to undo men.
But I was no longer hers to unravel.
“Okay.”
My voice dropped cold and detached.
“Va bene. Me ne vado.”
Without another glance, I grabbed my room key and left.
The hotel door slammed behind me, its echo slicing through the hush like a gavel.
From behind, I heard hurried footsteps.
The door swung open, and that voice called my name, panicked, hesitant, defeated.
“Verez! Dove stai andando?!”
Valerie chased after me.
I could hear her light steps closing in.
She tried to grab my hand.
But I brushed it away without hesitation, without fear.
For the first time... I truly chose to walk away.
“Non voglio creare una scena qui. Spero che tu capisca, Valerie! Non ho mai voluto che tu ti avvicinassi a me di nuovo, capito?!”
My voice rose, loud and sharp, cutting through the silence of the hotel hallway.
“Sai una cosa?! Sono venuta fin qui perché ti amo!!”
Valerie shouted, forcing me to turn around and face her again.
There was something desperate in her eyes.
A glimmer of hope… or perhaps, despair?
“Merda... Lo so... il tuo amore non è per me, ma per un altro uomo. E so bene che quell’uomo... non sono io.”
I spat the words bitterly.
She reached out to touch my cheek,
Reflexively, I swatted her hand away.
“Valerie,” I said, cold and firm.
“Una volta... sì, ti ho amata. Ma ora, non più.
Non ti ho mai toccata, mai fatto del male.
Ma basta.
Sono stanco di essere perseguitato dal tuo fantasma.
Lo so, anche adesso mi rincorri non per chi sono ai tuoi occhi... ma per chi sono diventato.
Ma devi sapere una cosa... ovunque io vada, non osare seguirmi.
Ti prego… stai lontana da me!”
My voice was sharp, resolute, stained with a pain I refused to relive.
My finger pointed between us,
Too close in distance, yet galaxies apart in feeling.
Valerie fell silent.
Her gaze softened.
The fire in her eyes was gone.
She looked down.
Her long hair fell across her face, veiling whatever emotion she was trying so hard to suppress.
Her reflection shimmered on the polished floor,
Standing alone.
Still.
“Okay… If that’s what you want... you’re free of me now,” she whispered, like a voice from the past.
“Mi dispiace… se una come Valerie ti ha turbato così.”
Her eyes lifted to mine, no longer defiant, only calm.
Surrendered.
But I didn’t flinch.
Didn’t falter.
Didn’t stay.
I turned and walked away.
Leaving her behind in that hushed hallway.
Leaving the woman I once longed for,
Now a memory I no longer wished to keep.
Behind me, I heard her quiet sobs.
But they weren’t loud enough to make me turn back.
My footsteps echoed farther and farther,
until even her shadow faded from my mind.
To be continued...