Luong stepped into the warzone of her living room—feathers from disemboweled pillows snowed down as Li Shiyi brandished a serving spoon like Excalibur, while Zhang Yu lounged atop the overturned couch like a smug warlord surveying his kingdom.
**"Explain. Now."** Luong's voice could've frozen lava.
Li stabbed her spoon toward Zhang Yu. **"King Caveman here cranked the TV to 'deafening concert' levels and spread his laundry everywhere like a territorial badger!"**
**"Correction,"** Zhang Yu adjusted an imaginary tie. **"I was conducting *important research* on stock markets—which requires ambiance. Then this gremlin stole my shrimp chips and sprinted away cackling."**
**"You ignored my *three* polite requests!"** Li hurled a throw pillow at his face.
**"You *fake-coughed* at me. That's not a request, that's a biohazard."**
Luong massaged her temples. **"I leave for *one date* and you two turn into feral raccoons—"**
Zhang Yu's head snapped up. **"DATE?!"** He vaulted over the couch, landing inches from her face. **"WHO. WHAT. WHEN. WHY WASN'T I INFORMED?!"**
Li gasped dramatically. **"SHE'S BEING COURTED BY A MYSTERY MAN!"**
**"HIS NAME IS YIN ZHANG AND HE'S A MANAGER AT—"**
**"SALARY?"** Zhang Yu barked.
**"BLOOD TYPE?"** Li demanded.
**"SOCIAL CREDIT SCORE?"** they shouted in unison.
Luong's eye twitched. **"Father already ran a background check. He's clean."**
Zhang Yu collapsed onto the wrecked couch. **"I need to vet his handshake strength. And his spice tolerance. And his—"**
**"You'll grill him *after* we burn this crime scene,"** Li declared, kicking a chip bag toward him.
As Luong escaped upstairs, their bickering morphed into heated debate:
**"Yin better bring *good* gifts when he visits,"** Zhang Yu muttered.
Li smirked. **"I hope he brings *banana milk*. Just to watch you see the."**
From her bedroom, Luong smiled at the ceiling. *Home sweet chaos.*