Nathan stared at Lucian in disbelief.
'Our relationship was complicated? What does that even mean?' he wondered.
'Why did his attitude suddenly change so drastically?'
Nathan couldn't believe the young man in front of him had responded with such words.
He had always felt their relationship was close, but he never imagined it could be something more intimate. For a moment, he thought he'd misheard, but then how could he explain the flirtatious way Lucian was looking at him right then?
Lucian was hiding his face between his shoulders as if he was embarrassed by what he had just said. However, this was nothing but an act. Lucian was, in reality, putting his soul into an attempted performance. He hoped to completely convince Nathan of his mixed feelings.
Nathan, unable to bear the silence, massaged his forehead with his fingers and decided to ask, "And what exactly does a complicated relationship mean?"
Upon hearing this, Lucian decided to make Nathan even more uneasy, looking at him intently and murmuring, "Are you seriously going to make me say it?" he responded, raising an eyebrow.
Nathan lifted his face slightly and gave him an uncomprehending look. Pondering his response, he hesitated whether to ask or not. Noticing this, Lucian leaned in a little closer as if to indicate he was listening attentively.
"Am I gay?"
"..."
"Tell me, is that it? Am I homosexual?" Nathan continued, awaiting his answer.
To some extent, Nathan's question was acceptable, but the fact that he said it so casually bothered Lucian.
'Just how much nerve does this man have? And he even seems to be seeking confirmation from me.'
'Seriously... Even without his memories, he's still a bold person.'
Without hesitation, Lucian quickly gave him an answer.
"Yes. Gay. You are definitely gay," he said, displaying an annoyed expression.
"How is that possible? Are you sure?" Answered Nathan.
"Yes! Very sure, you are 100% gay, okay?" Lucian repeated, beginning to yell at this point.
"That's hard to believe..." contemplated Nathan for a moment.
"That woman-... my mother informed me about all kind of relationships I had previously, and I don't recall her ever saying I dated men," Nathan commented doubtfully, crossing his arms in a gesture of denial.
'...Shit!'
Lucian exclaimed in his mind, pressing his lips together, unsure how to respond.
'What should I tell him now? Moreover, why did I even think of lying?'
Lucian knew Nathan had never dated a man. He was aware Nathan had several relationships, but all were with women.
Nevertheless he didn't want to admit he had lied, so he tried to cover it up with an even bigger lie.
"Yes! it's true you dated women! but that was precisely because you never wanted to openly admit your sexuality."
Honestly, at this point, Lucian no longer knew what nonsense he was spouting.
And as if what he was saying were the absolute truth, he proudly raised a finger and said, "Your mother doesn't quite grasp it, and that's precisely because she suspects there's something strange between us."
He sighed exaggeratedly with a hint of sadness.
"You never wanted to cause me trouble, that's why you never told them we were seeing each other..." Lucian insisted.
Whether to believe Lucian's invented story was entirely up to Nathan. There was a high probability he would think Lucian was just a pervert trying to take advantage of his situation. Although, in reality, that wasn't entirely incorrect.
"Okay. I believe you." Nathan murmured.
"I know, I know, it's not easy to... What did you say?" Lucian looked astonished, unable to believe what he was hearing.
"I said I believe you," Nathan repeated subtly.
Lucian had been expecting him to deny the possibility of being gay. But Nathan not only accepted his sexuality but also believed him when he said they were meeting in secret from his parents.
"You really believe me?" Lucian asked, barely believing it himself.
Nathan merely nodded gently.
"It's getting late. In any case, let's continue our conversation tomorrow." He concluded with a gentle smile.
"Okay..." Lucian could only agree still not understanding what was happening.
They agreed to meet the next day to continue chatting. Although Nathan really had nothing else to conclude; he simply wanted to continue seeing the only person he could recognize.
And just like that, confuse, their meeting in a weird way concluded.
2 AM.
It was pitch black outside. Absolutely nothing could be seen except for a few streetlights.
Lucian was on his way home in a taxi. Nathan had offered to pay for the ride moments ago, as Lucian had gone to the trouble of visiting him so late.
Lucian returned home exhausted and having unintentionally acquired a secret love affair with his long no time see friend.
It all seemed ridiculous to him. He still blamed himself for lying in such a way, especially to someone who was ill. He didn't quite understand what had happened to him.
It only took seeing Nathan again for his heart, after many years, to begin beating and trembling as it used to. His anger at Nathan's indifference had prompted him to lie and say they had a special relationship.
'It reminds me of the times when I tried to get his attention...' he muttered with a long sigh.
Once home, Lucian could think of nothing but throwing himself onto his bed to sleep. For some reason, he felt that tomorrow would be an exhausting day.
...
'How strange.'
'Why am I back at his house?
'Where am I going?'
He was walking down a familiar corridor, yet it sent shivers down his spine. There was a lack of light.
He arrived.
He stopped in front of a door. Thick and large. The wood it was carved from was refined and had a wenge color—dark and straight, exuding wealth.
With trembling hands, he mustered the courage to knock lightly on the door, but loud enough to be noticed.
*Knock
*Knock
"..."
After a few seconds of impatiently waiting for a response, a deep, confident voice from inside the room replied.
"Enter."
Still nervous, Lucian slowly pushed the door open, taking only a few steps into the room.
He didn't know why, but he wanted to escape. His gaze was fixed on the floor. He didn't dare lift his head and look into the eyes of the person in front of him. He was sweating with fear. With his hands, he tightly gripped his shirt, trying not to appear uncomfortable being there.
The person, minimally interested in the other's emotions, began to speak.
"You know that problematic actions are not allowed in my family, right?" He was approaching Lucian, adjusting his gray tie.
Once standing in front of him, leaving only a few centimeters, he began to murmur, "I hope you learn from your mistakes and don't show up here again."
As soon as he finished speaking, his eyes took on an irritated look, and a slight red color began to show in them.
One of his hands began to rise, then quickly and forcefully slapped Lucian on the cheek. Decisively and without mercy. His other hand, like a mirror, prepared to repeat the same action.
*Smack!
This time, a slight cut appeared on his cheek, from which small trickles of blood began to emerge.
'It hurts...'
'But... I deserve it'
Not just his face, but his chest too. It tightened painfully. The middle-aged man who had just slapped him didn't seem satisfied with only that act.
As if he had made up his mind, his open palm began to close and form a fist. With his hand now closed, he was ready to throw a punch.
Lucian, realizing this, closed his eyes and tried to cover himself with his arms to cushion the impact.
And when it was about to land...
"!!!"
Lucian woke up desperately, his agitated breathing beginning to calm.
"A dream?..."
'Ha... more than a dream, a nightmare.' He thought as he lifted the sheets to get his feet out and sit by his bed.
He cradled his face in his hands, trying to calm down a little more. After taking another breath, he looked at his dresser to check the time on his clock: 5:30 AM.
He had only slept at most three hours. He couldn't rest well, and his exhaustion was reflected in his dark circles.
With a groan of complaint, Lucian headed to the bathroom to wash up and do his facial routine. He thought that after that terrible memory, his face would definitely be a mess.
As he looked in the mirror, confirming his suspicions, he sighed and began to wash.
"This time, I think I need to put on some makeup to hide the dark circles..."