"Get away from me! Groper!"
…Despite my deviance…
I'm not going to say if it felt good or not, but there was definitely no milk.
Anyway, the bathroom... wasn't exactly luxurious.
The walls were tiled, and the window was placed high up...
Actually, maybe it just looked high because I was short?
There was a tap for filling buckets, a space for a shower, and a bathtub nearby.
Not cramped, not spacious either. The scent of sanitizers and soap washed over me.
Maybe fifteen people could fit in here—if they didn't mind touching.
Still...
Compared to the disaster I used back in the other world—a half-burnt, patched-up excuse for a washroom, ruined by the fires of poverty—this place looked damn near luxurious.
While gently washing me on her lap—I was lying there like a helpless sack of marshmallow—Sera said, "Master, I didn't mention this before—"
"Why didn't you mention it before?"
"Because I forgot."
"Good. I just wanted you to understand your own incompetence. So, what did you forget to tell me again?"
"There are daily tasks you're expected to complete as a Guardian Candidate. Unless, of course, you want to attract the negative attention of the gods."
Ugh. Gods this, gods that. And wasn't this starting to look more and more like a video game?
I know what you want to say; "Did this poor wretched rat ever own a skipping rope, talk more of a video game?"
Well, I never owned one, but I played a few at Alice's house. Enough to recognize the signs.
"Look here, Sera, I do not care about what the gods—who probably had a hand in my previous tragedy—think or do. Aren't there a bunch of other Guardian Candidates? Let them scam those ones."
"I understand, Master. But, ignoring the fact that you're currently the only Guardian Candidate in this world..." Sera trailed off with a shrug. "The gods are persistent cockroaches. If they can't make you obey, they'll crawl into your life in ways that'll haunt you until your last breath."
...Now I kind of feel bad for the gods.
Apparently, my opinion of them wasn't even as bad as Sera's.
"You see," I started, "I'm sure the gods have better things to do than monitor every single step I take. If I keep my head down, they probably won't bother—"
SMACK!
"Ow! What the hell was that for?!"
Sera blinked innocently. "Hm? I was just checking if that was one of your kinks. Maybe you like being spanked?"
"I do not! Cut it out!"
Isn't this child abuse?!
"If you spank me again, I'll poop on your face! I swear."
"Master, you gross pig—but if it's to cleanse your baby buttock clean of defecation, I'll do so thoroughly."
"Blegh! You're the gross pig for taking that literally!"
"Well, about your rebellion to the gods," she hummed, "I'll follow whatever decision you make, Master."
"Hm? Well... th-thank you."
She changes gears so suddenly…
For a while, the only sounds were the soft scrubbing and the drip of water echoing around the bathroom.
Then—
"Sigh... but it's a shame," Sera muttered.
"...What is?"
"Refusing to engage in daily tasks means losing out on all the privileges and rewards."
Fascinating.
"Tell me more," That got my attention. "About these 'rewards' and 'privileges'..."
"Hm? You don't need to know that, right? You're not planning to do the tasks anyway," Sera said.
"No, no. What if I run into another Guardian Candidate on the road, and they ask me, 'What kind of privileges do you get from daily tasks?' I won't have anything to say, and I'll look like an idiot."
"Master, the chances of that happening are next to non-existent."
Nonetheless, with enough pressing, Sera finally leaked the information.
Apparently, when a Guardian Candidate clears a task or quest, they're awarded something called Golden Wings—a type of blessing from the gods. There's also Halos, and a few bonuses for exceptional performance.
These rewards are treated as currency and can be used to purchase divine equipment from the cosmic app—self-assumed—known as the System Board.
Apparently, whatever you buy gets delivered by an angel. But most of those items are absurdly expensive—and in many situations, pretty useless.
However, if you don't want to spend your Golden Wings on equipment, you can exchange them through the System Board for real money.
That'll be delivered to you by some unfortunate human—probably a corporate slave working for divinity.
Basically, it's just a sneaky scheme by the gods to use us humans to get things done, all while keeping things "entertaining."
Putting money on the line to manipulate lives... How despicable.
"Seraphina."
"Master?"
"When are we starting the tasks?"
"My, but Master, didn't you say—"
"Did you enjoy the boiled rice and dried beef today? I didn't eat it, and even I hated looking at it. I'm not very rich, thus, I don't have the right to be picky. If I have to wash godly underwear to get some penny, so be it."