And that's how I got here… stuck and tied up against a pole in the middle of the forest, with no way out but to pray!
Why do these things keep happening to me!? I swear I was just asleep — I even had a blanket! Who knew that would be the last moment of peace before I woke up bound like a prize roast for some backwoods meat raffle?!
I heard the soft cries of animals and realized I was surrounded — forest creatures, all locked in cages and bound in chains.
"Hey! Anyone out there?! This is a huge misunderstanding!" I shouted, wriggling against the ropes. "I'm not worth a ransom! I mean—look at me! I'm like… adventurer-grade broke!"
A twig snapped nearby.
My breath hitched.
Oh no. Please don't be a bandit. Please don't be the guy with the knife. Please just be a squirrel. Or a spirit. No, not a spirit, forget I said that—
From the bushes stepped a tall, broad-shouldered figure with a crooked grin and an axe slung across his back. Definitely not a squirrel.
"Well, well," the man said, dragging out his words like he thought he was the main character in a tavern tale. "You woke up earlier than expected."
"I have a sensitive back," I muttered. "Your pole is not lumbar-friendly."
He chuckled, then turned to shout behind him, "Boss! The pretty boy's up!"
I couldn't help but swallow the lump that formed in my throat, eyes watching as a tall woman stepped forward — a small scar running down one cheek, and a gaze like she could skin you with her crimson eyes alone.
The bandit boss stood like a storm that had grown legs and learned how to command. Her armor was pieced together from raided mercenary kits and fallen knight scraps, a mismatched ensemble of battered but functional protection. Over it, she wore a tattered dark crimson half-cloak, fastened with a tarnished bronze brooch shaped like a snarling wolf — likely stolen from some noble house long forgotten.
Her chestplate was clearly custom-forged. I know for sure they don't make that size naturally… shaped to accommodate both protection and her formidable frame. The metal curved with her physique rather than flattened it, suggesting both strength and presence — she carried herself with the kind of weight that made men pause not out of admiration, but wariness.
"Seriously, y-you've got the wrong guy! Honest!" I squirmed, but my words fell on deaf ears as she snorted, clearly unimpressed by my excuse.
"We know you're a Mishimiya kid," she said, grabbing my face roughly and forcing me to look into her dark crimson eyes. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little turned on right now…
"We're gonna take you to the market with us, see how much people would pay for the blood of a royal like yourself — along with the creatures we've gathered here." She turned my head, inspecting every inch of my face before shoving it away. "Though, you look awfully like a girl. It's going to take a lot of convincing…"
"I'm not a girl! Bastard…" I whimpered to myself, not daring to let her hear my silent words of defiance.
"We'll leave when we're done here… there's still more to do, now that those pesky pseudo-drakes are gone."
My head perked up at the mention, my eyes trailing after her back… her tall, muscular ba— No! She's the reason the pseudo-drakes aren't hibernating right now!
I gritted my teeth. Of course it was them.
She stalked away without another glance, her heavy boots crunching moss and roots like the forest owed her money. The man with the axe stayed behind for a moment, scratching at his beard, looking like he wanted to say something clever but only managing a grunt before following her.
I was alone again… tied up, panicking, and now cursing every decision that led me into this trap.
"Psst!"
My eyes widened. That voice — small, sharp, and impossible to mistake.
"Pixie?" I hissed, craning my neck.
Another rustle — then a flicker of fluttering wings, a soft pulse of green-blue light, and there she was: the pint-sized menace with a temper like wildfire and wings like stained glass. The pixie hovered into view, arms folded, looking like she'd rather be anywhere else.
"Took you long enough," I muttered. "Where's Yui?"
"Who're you?" the woman muttered, narrowing her eyes as a girl stood in her path.
The girl's weapon was drawn and dragged lightly along the earth, carving a clean line through the moss as she approached.
Without another word, she burst forward.
With a flick of her wrist, her axe surged downward, slamming into the ground. The bandit boss barely dodged — the impact upturned the earth in a violent spray.
"I suggest you leave this forest," the girl said coldly, her voice a quiet threat, "and return everything you've taken from it."
Gushes of water began to surge up her axe, curling along its surface like living liquid.
"What…?" the bandit leader muttered, gritting her teeth, staring down this strange hybrid — this girl with a shark-like gait and striking pink eyes that didn't blink.
"I won't ask again."