Nope, nope, nope, I'm not doing this! Whatever this thing is standing in front of me, it won't move! What do you want from me?! Typical, just typical — classic ghost jumpscare when my pants are down! Can this get any more cliché!?
"U-um…" I hummed to myself, watching as its intense leer didn't waver for a moment.
I could feel my heartbeat hammering against my ribs, each thud louder than the last. This wasn't how my night was supposed to go. I was just supposed to take a piss behind a tree, not get ambushed by some… thing!
It stepped closer, its tiny stubs it called legs carrying it forward, its eyes not breaking away from mine.
It's getting closer!!!
Wait a minute… What am I doing!? I'm bigger than they are. All I have to do is punt the thing and make a break for it! I grinned, my eyes narrowing at the opportunity as it got closer and closer.
That's right, you little shit — soon you'll be in punting distance!
Closer… I thought to myself, watching as it inched closer and closer, waddling with its tiny glowing body.
Closer…
When it got close enough, I wound up to kick without wasting a second, something catching my eye in the forest. I froze as multiple patches of glowing light emerged from the trees — reds, purples, blues, greens; they all stared at me from the forest.
I stared at them, and they stared right back at me, their hollow eyes watching my every move before they all broke into smiles, simultaneous childish giggles escaping their lips.
I took a deep breath and let out a small, calm smile, resting my foot back against the earth. Kneeling before the creature, my hand rubbed against its tiny skull.
"You know, seeing you up close, you're kinda cute," I lied — its head bobbed back and forth like some kind of bobblehead! Its once hollowed eyes now glowed a lime green, almost blending with its skull.
"What the—" I stood up, stepping back as it began to approach me, the others starting to come out of the forest as well. I stumbled in my steps as I tried to get away, running as fast as I could from my pursuers.
"Why're there so many of them?!" I cried. Even as I recovered from the many times I almost toppled over, my form was horrendous! This is not the life Mishamiya should live!!
I ran towards the cabin, knocking on the door repeatedly in hopes someone would open it. But there was no one.
"Hey!!!" I shouted, looking for any sort of salvation as they got closer and closer! Quickly, I tried the knob — the door just flew open as though it were never locked. I shut the door behind me, saving the questions for later, panting desperately for air.
Finally… safe. I leaned against the door, sliding down to the floor as I let out a small sigh of relief. I couldn't believe my luck. I didn't sign up for this…
My finger reached to my scalp, fingers digging in as if I could remove all of my frustrations, rapidly scratching at my skull.
Great, just great! What do I do now!? They're out there waiting to put my head on a stick!
I raised my head, teary eyes widening as I saw what lay before me. The cabin was small, a single room at best, with a bed right at the end under a high window. On that bed lay a man — he seemed on the verge of death, his skin sunken to his bones. He drew slow, desperate breaths, his time drawing near.
"She's a murderer…" I muttered to myself, practically speechless from where I sat, the door suddenly shaking violently inwards, the door hitting my head in the process.
"Tch–" I hissed from the pain, holding my head and desperately pressing my back against the wall as it continued to rattle violently.
"Who's in there?!" the voice demanded to know, the tears breaking through my eyes. I don't wanna die — please God, if you're listening! Not again, I don't want to die again!
The sun started to peek from the window as the day began, the door finally bursting forward with me underneath.
The pixie stared inside, watching my practically lifeless state on the floor when she barged in.
"Um…" she hummed to herself, kneeling down to get a better look at me. Her wide eyes stared down at me with that childish curiosity of hers. "What're you doing, mister—"
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"So?" Yui urged, her arms crossed, shifting her weight to her left leg as she spoke. "Fess up. What's going on–"
I stood beside her, my head still bruised from last night. The pixie stood in front of us, her heel digging into the floorboards in a bashful display as she tried to find the words.
"Well, um…"
"Just admit it already. You're not the farmer, are you?!" I accused the girl's head shooting up defensively at the claim.
"I am!! I-it's just…" She stopped herself for a moment.
"Just?" Yui urged, watching as she steeled herself to reveal the truth.
"Crops won't grow…" she muttered, eyes to the floor.
"...what?"
"The spirits of the forest are disturbed and the crops won't grow, okay?!" she snapped, her hands stretched by her sides into folded fists of emotion. The poor girl was practically stomping her feet at us, tears of humiliation in her eyes.
The wooden boards of the cabin creaked with each tantrumous stomp she gave. "It's been like that for a while now, and I don't know the cause! First this happens, then this adventurer gets attacked, then you show up at a time like this, ahhh!!!"
She crouched down, holding her head, her hands disappearing into her afro like a soft black cloud. "This is just my luck! How could something like this happen!! At this rate, everything will be so behind schedule!"
Yui kneeled down before her, her tail whipping side to side gently. "If you want, we could help," she offered.
The girl raised her head with teary eyes. Her voice cracked with sorrow.
"R–really?"
"Yeah, of course, we're from the guild, remember?" Yui's words were meant to be encouraging, yet her face just gives off a weird sense of indifference…