--My awakening began with the pain of the darkness being cut through and my eyelids being burned by sunlight.
"--I-chan?"
The sensation in my body that was supposed to have disappeared, the warm blood flowing through my fingertips and toes, and the feeling that my lower body, which should have been shattered, was firmly planted on the ground.
The return of all lost functions within the blink of an eye was so relentless that it literally left me dizzy with all the information being pounded into my newly activated brain.
Before I knew it, the world that was previously dominated by tinnitus was being disrupted by the noise of human activities.
People were passing by in the dusty streets, quickly moving aside my body as if it was getting in the way and casting quick glances of annoyance at me, which had a strange effect on my frayed mind.
"Hey, hey! Are you even listening?"
A rough voice mixed with a clicking tongue came from nearby, and I turned my eyes in that direction. In front of me stood a menacing-looking man with a vertical scar on his face.
He was a head taller than me and lightly traced the white scar with his finger.
"Come on, big bro. Stop spacing out."
"Eh, ah?"
"What a lame reply. Well, whatever. Anyway, what are we going to do?"
The man sighed upon hearing only a hushed reply, and then pressed for a conclusion.
In his hand was a red fruit perched on his large palm - a combination that didn't suit the man's appearance at all, and it somehow ruined the sense of reality.
He stares blankly at it and remains silent. There is a serious flaw in his awareness of the situation. However, there is no opportunity for the intimidating man to consider this.
"Stop messing around, okay? All I'm asking is whether you want to buy the linga or not. Answer with care."
He leaned forward and the man across the counter grabbed him by the collar. He was roughly pulled towards him and his body fell forward, crashing into the shelves. The force of the force caused the shelves to shake and the items to fall, causing the man to panic.
"Wh-what are you doing?! Stand up properly. You've just relaxed your legs..."
"Leg...leg?"
"There are two perfectly fine ones below the waist. Did you have a hallucination that you lost your legs?"
He puts his fingers on his head and spins them around, then he points them at my lower abdomen. I follow his fingers and look down, and there I see my legs, trembling. They are shaking so unsteadily that they can't support my body, and I'm just barely standing by leaning my upper body against the counter.
"Please stop with the pranks. It's not enough for me to be upset by all the stories that are normally impossible."
The man looked annoyed at the sight of him leaning lazily against the counter, and shook his head. If they were to have this kind of exchange in the street, it would have a negative impact on the people watching from afar. His words were of concern, but his body didn't react in the slightest.
I can't recognize reality as reality. There's a vague feeling, a mysterious sense of alienation, as if a thin membrane is covering everything, and all information just passes through my brain and slips away.
I wonder what he is doing.
What could have happened?
I feel like something happened, but I wonder what it was.
What, what, what--
Incoherent thoughts lose their way, endlessly going around in circles in the narrow labyrinth that is the skull, forcing the mind to wear down. It might be easier if they were just worn down or worn out and disappeared.
However, the sense of loss of loneliness
"--Subaru-kun?"
The girl's voice suddenly vibrated his eardrums and he was instantly swept away.
"――――"
Without a word, and more slowly than you could call it a bounce, he lifted his head, eyes wide open. On the other side of the counter, behind the man's hulking form, stood a person rearranging the items that had shifted in place in the collision.
She was wearing a black apron dress with a white apron and white prim. Her small and delicate body was busy moving, and when she noticed someone looking at her, she turned around with no expression on her adorable face. Her shoulder-length blue hair swayed with her movements, further accentuating her cool impression.
Tears came to my eyes.
"--Hey?"
"Subaru-kun?"
Sobs escaped and my vision became blurry.
Afraid that the girl who should have been reflected there would become unclear, he rubbed his eyes as hard and violently as he could.
When he came to, his body had lost the support of the counter and he had collapsed onto the street. With no strength or willpower in his feet, he lay on his side in the traffic, crying and breathing heavily.
No, that is not breathing.
"Heheh... hehe, haha. Hehe, hehehaha..."
A smile, it was.
I can feel the murmur growing and the number of attentions directed at me increasing exponentially.
Someone is watching me. Someone recognizes me. I'm not lonely. I'm not isolated. Just knowing this makes me feel affirmed, even though I'm lying here like a piece of trash.
"What's wrong, Subaru? Are you okay? Stay calm…"
Unable to go around her, the girl climbed over the counter and landed next to her. Then, I realized that she was going to pick me up as I fell.
"picture?"
As the body approached him defenselessly, he instead embraced it back with all his might.
The girl was stunned and accepted the embrace. She could feel her momentary breathing so close to him, and her warmth felt incredibly comfortable, so she hugged him even tighter, burying her nose in his shoulder.
"Wh… well, Subaru-kun? Umm…"
He was saying something. I could tell that every word, every letter, coming from his lips brought gospel with every second.
He held her tightly in his arms, not letting go. The girl stirred slightly, but she quietly accepted his embrace and made no attempt to shake him off.
While feeling the warm body, the pulse of life, and the presence of others as close as possible,
"Hiha.... Uhiha, hehehehe."
Natsuki Subaru - the madman, simply continued laughing quietly.
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"Honestly, I have no choice but to give up on this..."
Ferris declared, sitting back in his leather chair and placing his fingers on his cheek.
With her cat ears twitching and her chestnut hair swaying, the beautiful woman looked at Subaru lying on the bed, then turned a pitying gaze towards the girl standing beside the bed,
"The only thing I can do is to heal your physical wounds. Whether they're inside or outside, I can help you, but... there's nothing I can do about your heart."
"...No, thank you for your efforts."
As Ferris apologized for not being strong enough, Rem bent over to thank him. However, her voice was somehow monotonous and emotionless. It was different from what she usually does consciously; it was the result of the great turmoil she felt inside.
Ferris looked away from Rem as if looking at something pitiful. Rem, who still had her head bowed, didn't notice his attitude and gently tilted her head to face the person lying on the bed.
Lying on the bed and being cared for by the two was a black-haired boy - Subaru.
Even though he was under her gaze, his body did not respond to the attention of the person who was directing his attention at him.
He wasn't asleep. His eyes were wide open, staring intently at the ceiling directly above him. Every now and then, he'd flash a forced smile as if he'd just remembered something, and then he'd suddenly burst into tears. He remained in an unstable state.
Rem didn't know the reason for this.
He hadn't changed at all until this morning, or rather, when he had been strolling around the lower districts of the royal capital just after noon. His attitude was somewhat unreasonable, but he had been trying his best to act normal, and Rem had also been treating him as normal, so they had built a normal life for each other.
And yet his heart had been broken so suddenly.
It didn't seem like there was any trigger.
Unfortunately, Rem wasn't right next to Subaru at the moment his behavior suddenly changed, but she was helping out at the shop and must have overheard the conversation between him and the shopkeeper.
He had approached the shop owner about buying a linga to take back to Crusch's mansion, and the shop owner, not expecting that the item would actually be brought to the mansion of a high-ranking nobleman, had been casually considering the deal. In the midst of that business meeting, Subaru's heart was suddenly broken.
Collapsed in the middle of the traffic on the shopping street, Subaru looked at himself and cried tears of joy and sorrow, letting out a distorted laugh that sounded like his lungs were spasming.
I left the place and, knowing it would be a hassle, carried him to Crusch's mansion and asked Ferris to examine him, as he thought he might have been the victim of some kind of magical interference.
The results were not good. If it was a problem of a dimension beyond Ferris' reach, then it was a problem that could not be resolved even by gathering all the greatest wizards in the royal capital.
There was nothing magic involved in his current state, just that his mind had suddenly become unbalanced.
"I don't want to say this, but what are you going to do?"
"We can deal with things we don't know the cause of, but... I apologize for the inconvenience to Felix."
"Hmm, that's fine. But honestly, since she's stopped making all this weird fuss, I guess you could say she's in a good condition to treat Feli-chan."
Looking down at the bedridden Subaru, who was barely responding, Ferris continued, "But, but..."
"I was wondering if it was okay to continue the treatment."
"...What does that mean?"
Lifting her head and looking away from Subaru's expressionless face, Rem finally looked at Ferris. Catching her gaze, Ferris prefaced her statement with, "I hope you won't get angry,"
"Curing Subaru-kun's gate is a measure to ensure that he doesn't have any problems with his daily life in the future, right?"
"yes"
"I can't even lead a normal life anymore, so I don't think there's any point in just healing my body."
Subaru-kun!"
"You say it's over? Seeing this state? Seriously? It's true that a lot of things happened, but if someone's heart is broken to this extent over something like that, I don't think there's any way they'll ever recover."
Ferris continued to maintain his suspicious attitude towards Rem, who was on the verge of becoming enraged. There was a clear look of contempt in the way he looked down at Subaru.
For someone who had been given the character "Blue" and was known as Lugnica's leading water magician, this seemed like an extremely cold-hearted attitude.
Rem was silent at Ferris's attitude. Ferris shook his head and said with a wry smile, "I hope you don't get the wrong idea..."
"It's not like I'm saying this because I hate you or because I particularly dislike you."
"However..."
"Subaru-kun, this isn't about you as an individual, you know? Feli-chan just hates people who simply lack the 'will to live'."
Rem pouted and was about to argue, but Ferris cut her off and pointed at Subaru.
"The only thing Feli-chan can do with magic is heal wounds. But she is still busy helping out a lot of people. Everyone is struggling to survive, so it's fine to help them out, right? I don't mind being thanked, and I could be of help to Crusch-sama by lending my skills to important people."
"――――"
"But I don't like using my power to heal the bodies of people who don't want to live. Even if their bodies are healed, they'll just waste their lives afterwards, right? It's over then. Hmm, it's over now."
Ferris said that sharply and turned his face away.
Behind that stubborn attitude, Rem could sense the sincerity Ferris must have shown about the number of lives he had seen. Though he spoke in a frivolous manner, it was his own established view of life and death, learned from the life and death he had observed up until that point.
And there was no point in me, an outsider, arguing purely emotionally against someone with such a firm belief.
Rem simply looked at Subaru with a frustrated expression, devastated by Ferris' words.
Subaru hadn't even noticed that he had become the center of attention, and was now letting out a faint, intermittent laugh that left a scratch in the hearts of those who heard it.
Seeing that broken heart, Rem felt an unbearable emotion echo within her chest, but she somehow managed to suppress it and not let it show.
It would be a disgrace to Subaru's honor, and to Roswaal's authority; more than anything, it would be a betrayal of the feelings Rem herself had harbored.
"--Ferris' opinions are a bit too harsh."
The voice suddenly rang out loud in the room, which had been filled with awkward silence.
Rem, whose mind was sunk in thought and who hadn't noticed the person's arrival, looked up as if she had been bounced off the floor. In contrast, Ferris, who had noticed the person's arrival after knocking, looked calm. No, the eyes he directed at the visitor were those of the silent, heated sergeant.
"Lady Crusch."
"I wouldn't go so far as to say that weakness is a sin. However, I agree that accepting weakness as it is and being content with the status quo without correcting it is a sin."
Crusch entered the room and, facing Rem who had hurriedly stood up, went to the side of the bed, her long green hair shaking. Then, looking down at Subaru's face, which was still twisted in a wicked smile,
"I see. This is certainly a serious matter. Do you know the cause?"
In response to Crusch's question, Ferris shrugged and said, "No," before raising his hands in frustration.
"According to Rem-chan, she suddenly collapsed, and I examined every inch of her body, but there doesn't seem to be any strange interference with her mana."
"Could it have been influenced by something like... sorcery from the north? It's hard to imagine, but it's possible that Gusteko's side interfered with those involved in the royal selection. Or perhaps it was a demonstration by another camp."
"It's hard to think of either way. It's a really bad time to launch a prank, and besides, who would benefit from targeting Subaru-kun in the first place? Everyone involved knows how disgraceful Subaru-kun is, and I can't see any magical interference, including hexes, in the first place."
"Also," Ferris said, tilting his head and gently moving next to Crusch, who had her arms folded, and then,
"Do you doubt Feli's abilities, Crusch-sama?"
"Of course not. There's no way I could doubt your abilities, your character, or your loyalty. Even if you stab me in the face with a dagger, that opinion will never change."
"Oh no, Crusch-sama, those are unbelievable killer lines… I'm already at my wits' end."
Ignoring Ferris, who was writhing and squirming, Crusch turned her gaze once more to Rem. Rem, who had been silently watching the exchange between master and servant, straightened up and faced him in the sharp gaze.
"This is what Ferris said. And if Ferris cannot help, then there is no one in our household who can treat Natsuki Subaru. I'm sorry, I'm not up to the task."
"--No, I'm truly grateful for your lenient treatment."
Rem responded to the master of the mansion's apology with a polite bow.
In truth, the kindness he received was so great that no matter how much he expressed his gratitude, it was impossible for him to fully repay it.
I don't think Ferris cut corners, nor do I think Crusch made arbitrary decisions regarding Emilia's associates who would become her political enemies.
Rem had some experience with water magic, and she understood Ferris's skill, and that it made no sense with the strange events that had happened to Subaru.
As for Crusch's personality, even though they had only met for a few days, there was no doubt that she was a sincere and honest person. She possessed the ability and sense of responsibility to have inherited the dukedom at such a young age, and moreover as a woman, and the qualities of a great noble. This was clear from the many opportunities they had to talk and exchange words.
In other words, there is not a single trace of fault on their part.
This situation is inevitable and hopeless.
"--witch"
The smell surrounding Subaru had intensified even more, and only Rem knew for sure that this was the cause.
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The witch's presence was surrounding Subaru's entire body - the miasma was becoming increasingly denser.
It was unclear whether this was the direct cause of Subaru's collapse, but it was a fact that the aura of this presence had grown immediately before Subaru's collapse.
The smell is something only Rem notices; no one else can notice it.
Therefore, she could not blame them for deciding that there was nothing that could be done, and blaming others rather than herself for being unable to find a fundamental solution was a conclusion that was not likely to come to her mind given her personality.
Being able to sense the witch's miasma was one of the very few advantages Rem had over her sister.
Even before she lost her horn, Ram had a fairly good sense of smell. She was confident in her ability to discern the mana that filled the air, and could rival her sister in tracking the scent of prey in the mountains.
However, the ability to smell the witch's presence was a new ability he had acquired since the night his entire family was massacred.
I don't know the reason why. I thought that maybe it was a result of Rem's body being pushed to the limit and causing a mutation so that she wouldn't forget that night.
Rem hadn't told anyone else about her strange sense of smell, but she had become even more wary of people who gave off a foul odor.
It's a physiological aversion and preconceived notion that comes into play.
However, such prejudiced thinking was soon dispelled by the boy who had exuded the strongest witch aura up until that point.
nevertheless.
Still, though.
She knew that what this miasma brought was never good.
--The demon was fully aware of it.
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"--Thank you for your help. On behalf of my master, I would like to thank you for your kindness up until now."
Rem bowed deeply.
Standing before her were Crusch and Ferris, and the three of them were meeting in the entrance hall of Crusch's mansion - in other words, they were saying their farewells.
"I'm sorry I couldn't be of any help. It would be presumptuous of me to expect payment for this."
"No. It is at our convenience to terminate the offer midway. Thank you for your utmost consideration, Crusch-sama. It is certainly only natural that the price should be paid."
As Crusch lowered her gaze slightly, Rem raised her head resolutely and replied.
In response, Crusch apologized once more with a "I'm sorry," but didn't offer any further words. She must have realized that from now on, their interactions would be merely formal.
"It's a bit of an incomplete combustion, but it can't be helped. Rem-chan, take care of yourself. And as for Subaru-kun… should I say take care of yourself, meow?"
Therefore, it was Ferris who spoke next in place of his master.
With a finger raised and one eye closed, he was standing behind Rem - Subaru, leaning his back against the door and standing there in a sloppy, lazy position.
He's still slow to react, and I'm not sure if he's even aware of me, but he follows me when I lead him by the hand, and he's gotten to the point where he can stand without collapsing. However, he still occasionally bursts into sudden laughter or tears, which I can't help.
"No amount of words can ever express my apologies to you regarding the rudeness shown to our family members. I would like to express my sincere gratitude for your generous treatment."
"We have a contract and have exchanged quite a few words. There's no way we can just treat him carelessly. I think things will be tough for you from now on."
"That is something I have fully prepared for."
Glancing at Subaru, who was still swaying as usual and sporting a faint smile, Rem gripped the hem of her apron tightly and declared her determination.
Rem had never forgotten the words he had once said to her. She had replayed that scene in her head over and over again, dozens, hundreds of times.
So I have to give back to him in the same way that he has given me.
"It's unfortunate that I can't accept your offer."
Crusch's words came to Rem, who was lost in thought, with her eyes closed.
Although the words were without a subject, he understood that they were referring to the secret conversation that had been taking place between Rem and Crusch.
Rem pulled her chin in, then shook her head at Crusch, who had her eyes cast down.
"This is all due to our own lack of ability. It has turned out to be a disappointing outcome, but I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors, Crusch-sama."
"Please convey that to Emilia as well. Let's fight in a way that will not shame our souls."
With just that exchange, Rem realized that her role in this place was over. Subaru's treatment was cut short, and so were the instructions given to Roswaal.
There was no way Subaru could continue with either of these things in the state he was in. He couldn't drag a defenseless Subaru along in this place, which was potential enemy territory, forever.
"It's fine to go back to the mansion, but do you have any plans?"
"At the very least, I would like to meet Lady Emilia..."
Rem replied to Ferris' question while still trying to contain her frustration.
No matter how many times she called out to him, no matter how many times she touched him, no matter how diligently she treated him, Subaru never responded to Rem in his usual way.
Even in such a state, Subaru would occasionally utter meaningful words.
That is,
"name..."
"Hmm?"
"Sometimes, she says my name. Rem's name, my sister. And..."
While he is happy that his name is there, he is also saddened by the fact that they have not responded to any of his efforts.
However, in terms of frequency of those tweets, the most common name wasーー,
"If I could meet Lady Emilia, something might change."
"But it was a brutal breakup, right? And it's only been three days, so it would be better to leave it for a while... but is that impossible?"
"I know that this is not a commendable method, but it is no longer something that Rem can decide on her own. I need to return so I can ask for instructions."
Rem disguises her true feelings by saying things to the best of her ability that show concern for her master.
Using that as a justification, he realized what his heart truly desired.
And it frustrated her that her presence was not enough to make that happen.
"--Wilhelm has come."
Suddenly, Crusch looked up and narrowed her eyes.
Following her gaze, he turned around behind her - on the outer edge of the mansion, on the other side of the iron gate, he saw a dragon carriage arrive, and a familiar old gentleman sitting in the driver's seat.
"That is the last long-distance dragon carriage in our household. I was in danger of having to take it out for another purpose, though."
"We were in luck. If we could just make it through Leafaus Highway, we'd be able to reach the mansion before the date changed."
As she watched the dragon carriage arrive, Rem narrowed her eyes at the brightness of the rising sun.
It was almost noon, and if he drove the dragon carriage at full speed, it would certainly take about half a day to reach the mansion. If he got there soon, he would be able to use his empathy ability to communicate his intentions to his sister to some extent.
"In good health."
"Good luck"
As she was seen off, Rem bowed deeply one last time, then took Subaru's hand and left the Karsten mansion.
When I received the reins from Wilhelm at the gate, after a few words of conversation I climbed into the driver's seat,
"Subaru-kun, come this way."
"...Huh, ah?"
Pulling her arm, she made Subaru sit next to her on the driver's seat. It felt quite cramped with just the two of them sitting there, but as they sat close together she put one arm around his waist and firmly gripped the reins with the other.
We have to keep running in this condition for a long, long time to come.
He was worried about the burden he would place on Subaru, and would have to protect him once he reached the mansion. Roswaal and the others would certainly not welcome him.
Subaru may end up with no allies left, so he must be the only one to be on his side.
Otherwise he would be, otherwise he would be--
--With resolve firmly in her heart, Rem pulled the reins, and the earth dragon kicked off the ground and took off.
The wheels move slowly, gradually speeding up.
It was as if the reins were giving her the feeling that it was hinting at Rem's current state of mind