[Bonus]
"The Baboon is indeed powerful," Kira nodded.
"Heh, it's too late for regrets now…"
But the Divine Messenger sensed something wrong.
The guy was too calm—he didn't sound troubled, but instead seemed to have a weird glint in his eye as if he'd found a rare prey.
The Divine Messenger shivered.
What's wrong with this guy?
"I set two cards and end my turn," Kira said.
The Divine Messenger shook off his unease.
"No matter; I just need to win and offer you up to the gods," he shouted. "My turn! Draw!
Go, Green Baboon—direct attack!"
Baboon roared, thumping its chest, then leaped at Kira with a punch.
"I activate my set card," Kira snapped his fingers. "Continuous Trap—' Ultimate Offering.'
During my Main Phase or your Battle Phase, I can pay 500 LP to Normal Summon a monster."
[Kira, LP 4000 → 3500]
The Divine Messenger frowned: "But you can only Normal Summon Level 4 or lower monsters—not enough to beat my Baboon!"
"I Normal Summon 'Tsukuyomi,'" Kira said.
[Tsukuyomi, 1100 ATK]
"When Tsukuyomi is summoned, I can turn one monster face-down. So, good night, Baboon."
"NANI!?"
The Divine Messenger's face changed. A crescent moon appeared, and the raging Baboon suddenly got sleepy, stumbling like a drunk before collapsing face-down.
Snoring sounds even came from under the card.
Divine Messenger: "…"
"Looks like your Baboon needs a nap," Kira smiled.
"Tch… fine, Battle Phase ends," the Divine Messenger said. "But now you have a monster.
I Normal Summon ' Playful Possum.'"
[Playful Possum, ATK 800 → 1300]
"Then I activate the Quick-Play Spell 'Half Shut.' One monster's ATK is halved and it can't be destroyed by battle until the end of the turn. I'll halve my own Possum's ATK!"
[Playful Possum, ATK 1300 → 650]
" Playful Possum's effect: during my Main Phase, if you have a monster with higher ATK, I can destroy Possum."
The Divine Messenger gestured grandly.
"Die, Playful Possum!"
The Possum peeked at Tsukuyomi, screamed in terror, and self-destructed in a puff of smoke.
"At this instant, the effect of another Baboon in my graveyard triggers," the Divine Messenger sneered. "When a Beast is destroyed, I pay 1000 LP to Special Summon Baboon from the graveyard.
Return, Green Baboon!"
[Divine Messenger, LP 5000 → LP 4000]
A new Baboon appeared, roaring.
[Green Baboon, Defender of the Forest, 2600 ATK]
Playful Possum self-destructs, which seems pointless unless paired with Baboon—it can revive every turn and trigger Baboon's effect, making an endless, renewable resource and a key part of the immortal combo.
The Divine Messenger shouted, "I told you, Baboon is immortal! No matter how many times—"
"I activate my set card—Trap: 'Floodgate Trap Hole,'" Kira said. "When a monster is summoned, it's turned face-down and can't change battle positions."
Divine Messenger: "…"
So the second Baboon slipped into a pit and was set face-down, snoring.
Baboon could revive endlessly, but if banished face-down, it was as good as gone.
"Clever brat…"
But the Divine Messenger kept his cool.
"I set a card and end my turn."
"End Phase—Tsukuyomi returns to my hand," Kira said, as Tsukuyomi turned to gold and flew back to his hand.
Divine Messenger: "!"
Only now did he realize the problem. Tsukuyomi could set a monster each time it's summoned, and with Ultimate Offering, Kira could summon it every turn—even on the opponent's turn.
So every turn, he'd get one monster set?
The Divine Messenger's pupils shrank.
What kind of combo is this?
Kira: "My turn. Draw.
I activate 'Card of Adversity.' If my opponent controls a Special Summoned monster and I control none, I draw two cards." (Anime card)
He drew, then revealed a card.
"I Summon 'D.D. Warrior Lady.'"
[D.D. Warrior Lady, ATK 1500]
Divine Messenger: "!"
He recognized this card—a monster that banishes itself and its opponent in battle. Baboon could revive endlessly, but not if banished.
He now had two face-down Baboons, but one was locked by Floodgate Trap Hole and as good as gone. If the other got banished…
He couldn't allow it.
"I activate 'Torrential Tribute!' When a monster is summoned, destroy all monsters on the field!"
A blue torrent swept the field, destroying both Baboons and D.D. Warrior Lady.
"And now, when a Beast is destroyed, I can activate the effect of my third 'Green Baboon' in hand!"
The Divine Messenger laughed.
"I pay 1000 LP to Special Summon my third Baboon!"
Again, the old effect. The modern Baboon can only trigger for face-up Beasts, but back then, even face-downs worked.
[Divine Messenger, LP 4000 → LP 3000]
Green Baboon #3—Summon!
[Green Baboon, Defender of the Forest, ATK 2600]
"And with Seal of Orichalcos, ATK increases!"
[Green Baboon, Defender of the Forest, ATK 2600 → 3100]
And with the two face-down Baboons in the graveyard, they could revive again whenever a Beast was destroyed.
"Hahaha, see? This is the power of a god-chosen Divine Messenger!" The Divine Messenger swelled with pride. "You may be a special duelist, but this power is insurmountable!"
Kira smiled.
"Is that so?"
"What?"
The Divine Messenger frowned.
How could this guy stay so calm after seeing Baboon's immortal setup?
"'Ultimate Offering'—I pay 500 LP to Normal Summon 'Mystic Tomato.'"
[Kira, LP 3500 → LP 3000]
"Then, I use 'Ultimate Offering' again, paying 500 LP to tribute Mystic Tomato and Tribute Summon—"
He raised his hand.
"Level 6—'Gaap the Divine Soldier!'"
[Gaap the Divine Soldier, ATK 2200]
"Hmph, you go to all this trouble to get a Tribute Monster?" the Divine Messenger sneered. "Still no match for my Baboon."
"I activate 'Ultimate Offering' again," Kira said calmly. "Pay 500 LP, summon 'Worm Gulse' from hand."
[Kira, LP 2500 → LP 2000]
[Worm Gulse, ATK 1500]
"Once more: 'Ultimate Offering.' Normal Summon 'Tsukuyomi.'"
[Kira, LP 2000 → LP 1500]
[Tsukuyomi, ATK 1100]
"Hmm?" The Divine Messenger frowned. "That card again? I see—Baboon's DEF is only 1800. If you set Baboon, Gaap can destroy it."
But then he sneered.
"But I have two more Baboons in the graveyard. Baboon is immortal—destroying it like this is pointless."
Kira ignored him: "Tsukuyomi's effect: on Summon or Flip Summon, turn a monster face-down.
I choose… Tsukuyomi herself!"
Divine Messenger: "?"
What kind of play was that?
Tsukuyomi chanted and turned herself face-down.
"But 'Gaap the Divine Soldier's' effect: as long as it's on the field, all monsters must be in face-up Attack Position.
So, Tsukuyomi is immediately flipped back face-up."
[Tsukuyomi, ATK 1000]
Divine Messenger: "???"
He was utterly confused.
What was the point?
Kira: "Now, 'Worm Gulse's' effect:
Each time a face-down monster is flipped face-up, this card gains a 'Worm Counter' and 300 ATK."
[Worm Gulse, ATK 1500 → 1800]
The Divine Messenger frowned: "Only 300 points…"
"Tsukuyomi's effect: when flipped, it can turn a monster face-down," Kira said with a smile.
Though Gaap the Divine Soldier restricts Flip monsters' effects, Tsukuyomi isn't a Flip monster, so she's not affected.
"So, Tsukuyomi turns herself face-down again."
"And because Gaap the Divine Soldier is on the field, she immediately flips to Attack Position."
"' Worm Gulse gains another 300 ATK."
The Divine Messenger's pupils shrank, his jaw dropped—realizing, with horror, this was…
An infinite loop!
Tsukuyomi flips herself face-down, then Gaap the Divine Soldier flips her up again, repeating infinitely—each time, Worm Gulse gains 300 ATK.
Kira: "That's right. After infinite loops, Worm Gulse has—"
[Worm Gulse, ATK ∞]
"INFINITE ATTACK!?"
The Divine Messenger's face twisted in terror.
No, it couldn't be true!
He trembled, his once brutal face now only fear and confusion.
Finally, he realized—he'd been the blind one. This guy was a true monster.
But how unlucky was he?
He'd just wanted some fun at the club—why did he have to run into this kind of dueling monster?
"Alright."
Kira folded his arms, Worm Gulse looming behind him with infinite ATK.
"Any last words?"
The Divine Messenger trembled, forcing a smile uglier than a cry.
"Mis-misunderstanding…"
But Kira wasn't listening.
" Worm Gulse, attack Green Baboon. Let's see if your immortality can withstand this!"
"Uwaaahhhhh!!!"
A wail rang out, echoing across the land until the green barrier drew away that filthy soul.
[Divne Messenger, LP 3000 → 0]
PS: Wow, another infinite loop.