I was walking home with Moksh. Despite it being summers the weather was pleasant and a calming breeze was flowing. As the breeze flew through my hair it seemed to relive me and truly it was one of the calmest I had seen the weather in summers this year.
A lot was going through my mind. The weather reminded me a bit of my home town. The one I had left along with the life I once lived. My home town was located in a rather cold place. Snowing was a common phenomenon in winters. A hot summer day felt like this.
The breeze seemed to carry a sense of nostalgia and knowingness.
Moksh was unusually quite today. We both were walking in silence. I could see the excitement on his face. He was probably thinking about his plans for the vacation.
"Hey sis!"
"Yeah."
"Your trip is going tomorrow, right?"
"Yeah, pretty much."
"You must be really excited."
"Kinda."
"I am so glad summer vacations started. I have been waiting for them like forever."
"I know. I am glad too."
"I have a lot of goals for vacations this time."
"What would that be?"
"I will watch at least three animes and I would sleep all day. I would also watch a tons of movies."
"Wow, I wasn't expecting anything fruitful from you."
"Shut up!"
We entered our house through the front door. Got in. Kicked off our shows. Threw out backpacks. Or should I say this was what Moksh did. I am pretty neat with my stuff.
"Finally summer vacations!"
Then we started talking like usual. Half an hour later our big brother returned from his college.
"Your summer vacations must be starting?"
"Yeah, it is gonna be fun."
"No this can't be happening! I go to my college meanwhile you get to sleep all day. No fair! And Chandni you are even going on a summer vacation! That's no fair!"
Then to celebrate the beginning of one of our favourite time of the year we started celebrating by watching a movie. I obviously fell asleep midway. After being laughed at I sleepely went in my room.
When I woke up half an hour had passed away and my phone won't stop buzzing like crazy. I picked it up to see what was making my phone dance. It was some group in WhatsApp. Wait Burger Kings! What!Did someone add me in a group for the purpose of commercialization or something.
I started reading
'Was pizza guy sick today'
'You Burger Kings poisoned me.'
'Kings I added Chandni in the group.'
'Wait she is online."
'Hey Chandni we added you to our group chat. Rudraksh this side.'
'Aarush this side.'
'Manan this side.'
'Siddhanth this side.'
'It was my idea.'
'Hey you might not know me but I am Kartik.'
'Hi' I replied
'Welcome to the allied powers of the burger kings and the pizza guy.'
'I must tell you how grateful I am to you for including me in your imperial court.'
'You shall there by be the Sandwich Emperess.'
'What's up with this crazy titel?'
'Let me give you the tour of nicknames here
Lover Boy/ Sam - Siddhant (me)
Day Care Owner - Rudraksh
Wanna Be Doctor - Manan
Mute - Kartik
Pizza Guy/ Winnie The Pooh - Aarush
And You are the mighty Sandwich Empress'
'I thought Manan has PCM?'
'Uhmm.. yeah it's cause my sister has destroyed my feed with biological terms.'
'What about Rudraksh being a day care owner.'
'I have three younger siblings and one of them is really young.'
'Before you misunderstand anything Kartik is named Mute because he is not a part of our orchestra.'
'Why is Aarush Pizza Guy?'
'Everyone here loves Burger but he likes Pizza and demanded we change the group name to Pizza Lords which we turned down.'
I know why is Siddhant named the lover boy (for having a crush on Samriddhi) now that I think of it that's probably where he got Sam too.
'I think you know about Siddhant.'
'Yeah. Why make me the Sandwich Emperess?'
'Because if Sandwich had a gender it would be female.'
'Oh okay, I don't get that logic.'
'You'll understand eventually.'
'I hope not.'
'He he!'
'Also are you going on the trip?'
'I am.'
'Nice. We are going too.'
'Hey Sandwich Empress report anything interesting that happens in the girl's hotel. And we will report you about the boy's hotel.'
'Done.'
'Okay guys I gotta go pick my sister.'
'Okay I am tired of typing too.'
'I hate Mondays.'
'Everybody hates Monday.'
Then Aarush started sending random reels and memes. Everybody else left the group chat.
**************
I was done packing. Honestly, I am a little excited for the trip. I was lying in my bed lights obviously off. I could still hear Moksh trying to sneakily eat bread jam. He had been watching an anime.
It's fun to have friend..... again. Even in my precious life I was used to keeping distance. I was kinda doing it even now but I still liked it. They added me on their own. Not like they were forced to or anything. They genuinely wanted to be with me.
I started remembering my childhood days in my previous life. When I fell asleep.
In my dream I was in the same familiar play ground. Or that's what we called it. It was the garden of the orphanage. Except it wasn't really a garden it was lust of land which had patches of grass and some tiny flowers. All of us were laughing about something I can't recall. We were just kids. Kids orphaned by the war. Then she suddenly bent down.
"Wow!" She said with that smile "Chandni come here."
I quietly came and bent down right beside her.
"Do you see that little flower bud. It's so pretty and bet it's gonna be even prettier when it grows up."
"Just like you two are gonna be when you grow up." He said peeping from behind us.
"But you will look just like a monkey." She started teasing him
"Shut up! What's the point of being pretty when you are ugly from the inside, huh?"
"I am not."
I woke up shivering and covered in sweat. But they they never got to grow up. They.... they never got to become adults. The war took them the same way it took my father and mother. No it was me who killed them it was me who killed all of them. We would laugh in the same garden and make jokes. We would wonder what the future would be like. A little did we know we were never gonna see that future.
Looking back at everything only one thought crosses my mind. Sometimes I just wanna disappear. Disappear into thin air. Disappear so no one could find me. Erased from everyone's memories. No matter where I am, how I am, what I am, there is this one constant unwavering feeling 'Sometimes I just want to disappear.'