I caught Hayden outside of class; I figured I could question him again on the way to gym class today. After my late night of research, I was eager to probe for more answers. When he turned the corner at the door before he saw me I quickly spun around trying to not look too obvious. I rifled through my backpack for some imaginary things as I waited while he said goodbye to the gorgeous girl trying to hang all over him.
He must have noticed me there because he walked over and tapped me on the shoulder. My head snapped around to meet his smug expression, literally causing my breath to hitch in my chest because of how close his face was to mine.
"Here to harass me again?" I immediately opened my mouth to argue but he held up his hand. "I'm just kidding— weirdo." I tried to hold back a grimace, my face blushing slightly when he called me a weirdo. Suddenly I felt my resolve shake.
It wasn't the first time though, He seemed to have adopted it as a nickname for me these last few days. I was really too sensitive, and swallowed hard reminding myself not to take everything so personally.
"I looked up a lot of the stuff we talked about before, when I got home. I can't find anything about a High Wiccan Council anywhere on the web, and I think you are just pulling my chain." I glared at him but he seemed mildly pleased by that. He didn't look at all surprised though, as he smirked back at me.
"I'm not pulling your chain Carlie; you can ask my dad if you don't believe me." He put extra emphasis on the pulling-your-chain part. I guess in Scotland they don't use the same metaphors. "It does exist, we just don't broadcast it. The last thing we need is random people knowing about what we do and who we are. Can you imagine what people would do to us if they could just get a hold of all of our contact info?"
I thought about movies when aliens were dissected in the name of science. On the side of believing they had true power, I shuddered to think. It made sense. "People would try to pay you for spells, or maybe people would want to study you and stuff." He nodded as if to say exactly. Those thinking it's all make believe would undoubtedly ridicule, and those that are convinced Wiccans worship the devil— well, that would most certainly leave them exposed to harassment.
"Well then why didn't you just tell me that?" I looked at him slightly confused. He could have just said that to begin with. "Instead of sending me on a wild goose chase?" It occurred to me that this had truly been the ongoing theme for almost all our interactions.
Like cat and mouse, he dangles a carrot in front of me— by mentioning something interesting or suggesting that he's aware of some knowledge that might answer a question. He feeds my curiosity just enough to ignite the spark of curiosity in my eyes— then second he sees me take the bate he rips the dang carrot out of my reach and shoves it into the bottom of his backpack. As soon as I ask where the carrot went, he gleefully acts like he hasn't seen any carrots, why on earth would I ask him, he has no clue what a carrot even is! I grow increasingly flabbergasted as this realization becomes painfully apparent.
"Why won't you ever just give me a straight forward answer Hayden?"
Suddenly I was beyond confused. I've never had such a difficult time learning about a topic once I set my mind to it. It honestly felt like Hayden was gate keeping and just holding this beautiful world over my head, just out of reach. I could see it, but not close enough to know it. Never allowed to hold it in my own hands.
"Like, I am not trying to pry really, and you don't owe me any kind of answers, but if you don't want to tell me about something, then don't say cryptic crap. You will hint at a thing, or suggest there is a thing, prompting me to try and understand. So I ask what you mean, but then give me half answers or vague statements that only confuse me or leave me with even more questions." I tried to read his expression as I attempted to lower my voice so as not to embarrass him.
The faintest hint of a grin tugged at the edges of his mouth, and I felt a wave of irritation surge through me. Was he trying to screw with me?
"I'd think you would know by now that I am just going to keep relentlessly trying to get the truth out of you." He was so aggravating. As he just stared at me blankly I started getting frustrated again.
I lost my mind apparently, actually poking a finger at his chest as my voice grew a bit more elevated. "You dangle your little pentagram in front of me, apparently picking up on how much I love to know things, and then you refuse to give me straight answers. You are so infuriating. And quite frankly— a tease, if I am being honest." I was beat red with anger. Why did he get to me so deep? So easily?
Hayden wiggled away from my finger with a huge grin, surprisingly very ticklish. It hadn't been my intent, but his easy smile sort of made me have to catch my breath. He groaned playfully as he regained his composure, catching his breath quickly before he replied. "Stop freaking out Car, sheesh. I just don't share my personal life with a whole lot of people, that's all." He was snickering under his breath, clearly attempting not to erupt in full blown laughter.
I guess making me angry was funny to him. I gave him a 'what the heck' gape and he laughed out loud; lifting his face so that I could see the strong column of his throat. "Calm down Carlie, it's just funny. I have never met anybody who cared so much to actually get angry. You are so easy to get going."
He shot a mischievous smirk in my direction. Suddenly his eyes were piercing straight through me, and his expression was far more serious, if not almost hungry as he casually added. "I love having this control over you." The gravel of his voice was amplified as his tone had lowered slightly, and his voice was closer to the gutteral sound of a predator, sending shivers rolling through my entire body.
My jaw dropped, and my mouth suddenly went dry. Luckily I was already red from anger because I started blushing, and my brain forgot what words even were for a split second.
I am in— oh— so much trouble.
"Carlie, you are cool and all, but I barely know you, and it isn't my place to tell you. If you become a seeker, and want to gain knowledge about the craft, you need to apprentice with somebody and try to earn your first, second, and eventually third degree training to fully understand the inner workings of our craft." Looking at my face, he examined my expression, almost like he was struggling with something internally.
After a sigh, he lowered his voice, "To know, to will, to dare, and to be silent; that is our decree. Emphasis on the last part." I lifted one eyebrow at his hokey sounding so called motto. He kind of chuckled uncomfortably as he raked his fingers through his hair and sighed again.
"I'm serious, what is it going to take to get you off of my back?" His words were harsh, but his tone was much softer, almost playful. My mind reeled, I thought about all of the crazy things I could ask of him, a kiss was the first one that popped into mind, but I was not an idiot, nor would I ever try to extort a hot guy for his body, especially not by leveraging being annoying. There were a thousand issues with that scenario. So I shook it off— eventually.
"You could help connect me to somebody who would be willing to tell me— anything really. Just get me in touch with somebody willing to tell me more than you, and then I could just ask them myself." I folded my arms over my chest to show that I was not going to budge on this topic.
"O.K." he said with a smile like it was so simple. "Come with me after school. You can meet my folks." I was kind of dumbfounded. I was expecting him to argue, at least a little. I expected him to maybe need more convincing, but even then I figured it would be more like he knows a guy at a little shop someplace, or maybe just have an old contact's email. Not take me home to meet the parents.
Guys were never too keen to have me come over to their home and meet their parents. Then again, this wasn't like that, it wasn't romantic in nature, just information exchange. We walked across the quad together in comfortable silence, as I mentally checked my schedule to make sure I was actually free.
"O.K. fine, today after school I will— what, follow you to your house?" He nodded in agreement. "Good, great, that's fine." I ran over every possible scenario in my head really quick and started to frown. "Wait— what do your parents do?" I realized that I hadn't asked about his family at all really. I figured if I was going to meet them I should know a little bit about them beforehand.
As we neared the locker room doors he sighed and I turned to face him causing him to stop walking. "It's complicated." He creased his eyebrows together thinking about an answer to my question, while I patiently waited for his answer.