After I thought about the conversation— as I was dressing out for class, a cold sensation washed over me. As the adrenaline and anger ebbed, a wave of nausea and horrified embarrassment soon took its place.
I ran to the ladies room again and cried. I had just yelled at the most amazing guy I had ever met. I would probably never get to speak to him again now. Great. I stayed in the restroom until Miranda hunted me down like a damn bloodhound and dragged me out again.
"You are a glutton for punishment." She told me during our sixth period class. "I mean, why do you care so much anyway, this Wicca stuff sounds weird. And why were you glaring at him in gym class, maybe that is why he won't talk to you." The teacher shot us a glance that said get quiet and work, without a single word.
Teachers had that ability to convey a whole wealth of information with one stare. I guess they learned it in college, I must remember to sign up for the course.
"I did not glare, I was in shock." I folded my arms, as I often did when angry. Miranda giggled under her breath.
"Well Melissa, in my first period class, said that Hayden was all worried that you did not like him for some reason because you were so 'cold' to him during gym." She laughed a little louder this time, hushing herself before the teacher had the chance. "He was honestly worried. Then, I guess he asked her about you, and she had to ask me, because all she could say was that you read a lot." We both laughed this time.
"Understatement of the year." I wondered why on earth Hayden would ask about me, and if I ever did speak to him again, I would have to remember to apologize for the glaring, even though after our discussion, I doubt he would ever speak to me again.
Our last joint class was once again meeting in the library to work on our current event reports. Miranda and I sat at a table in the very back of the library, to be alone, but due to the lack of seats we were joined by two of our fellow classmates. Marley and Jordan joined our little group of misfits at the back of the library. It sort of made me want to call this table the Island of Misfit Toys, haha.
Jordan was alright, most guys our age were extremely immature, but Jordan had an air about him that was beyond his years. He was an honor student in the chess club, by all accounts he was a really nice guy, but he was the quintessential nerd in every sense of the word. Not that I am saying that is a bad thing, just of note.
Marley on the other hand was vastly much more immature, once you broke through her highly introverted and shy exterior, and with good reason. She was only fourteen years old, and was smart, so she skipped a grade or two in middle school, now here she sat with the juniors smiling from ear to ear at the chance to hang out with older kids. Having her at our table was kind of nerve racking and somewhat embarrassing, but it wasn't like we had reputations to protect or anything.
"So what are you doing your report on Jordan? I haven't picked my topic yet." I glared down at the books in front of me, I had plenty of good topics, just none I particularly cared about. I ran my finger across the worn spines of the magazines I'd laid out in front of me and listened to Miranda bustling through the newspaper to my right.
"Oh, I am doing mine on," he looked around really quick as if to make sure nobody was listening, and then he leaned further into the table, so that he could whisper. "the grave robberies on the east coast." He wiggled his eyebrows to suggest that the topic was spooky or exciting somehow.
"What? Grave robberies, like actually grave robberies? I thought that only happened in like Egypt and stuff. What in the heck could they possibly steal from people here, caskets?" I snorted as I let out a low laugh at the thought. I had never heard of something so ridiculous.
"I am serious, you haven't heard about them?" He shot me a confused glare, like I had been living under a rock. I only watch God Day L.A., so sue me.
All three of them were looking at me now. "You haven't heard about them Carlie?" I shook my head as Miranda joined the conversation. She seemed shocked but shook it off and added, "I heard they actually started in the UK, and that the guy or girl or whoever moved across the Atlantic and is still moving this way."
She sat back with her arms folded, like she had just given us a super confidential piece of information. I stifled a smile, Miranda was quite a character.
"Well, it all started there, but the bulk of them were on the east coast, it is super creepy though. You are not wrong though, in fact, the thing is— they have already been moving across the U.S., there have been several robberies across the Midwest, whoever they are, they either copy cats or are moving westward."
He glanced around again, and spoke really low now, "Probably the worst part is what they are stealing." He examined our expressions, gauging how well he had captivated our interests.
Sure enough all three of us were staring at him intently. "Whoever these sick-os are, they are stealing bodies." Miranda gasped, she always had a weak constitution for such stories.
I was appalled. I could just imagine two freaky guys from like a horror movie snatching up dead bodies for some creepy experiments, or worse— like on Buffy. "What in the hell do they want bodies for?" I realized that I had spoken a little too loud and the back half of the class was now stealing glances in our direction.
"All the bodies were fresh, so the authorities think they are doing some sort of experimentation, you know using them like cadavers." Jordan scrunched his face and made it look like he was going to be sick. Miranda looked like she really was going to be sick.
"Maybe they are cannibals." Marley was quiet but when she made herself heard, she was straight to the point and without hesitation. With that thought Miranda shot up and raced across the room for the bathroom. She had definitely had enough of our conversation. "Did I say something?" Marley looked puzzled in my direction. I just laughed and shook my head. We sat quietly for the rest of the period. I was pretty sure Jordan would receive an A on his project.
After school I raced home as usual to do more research on Wicca. My head was so full of questions and ideas. I practically ran to my bedroom, not even stopping to grab a snack. Google was my dear friend these days as I searched the web fervently.
I glanced out my window to check and see if my new big bird buddy was still sitting outside. To my surprise, he wasn't. I was kind of put off by the fact that he had moved on, my sparse little tree looked so empty without him. I had really gotten used to his watchful presence. Strange as that may have seemed.
He felt somewhat like a strange guardian angel, watching over me while I slept. Keeping me in line while I surfed the interwebs, It was admittedly comforting. I did however honestly figure it had to happen sooner or later though. Unless he had ended up actually stuck there due to injury or something, I knew he would eventually have to move on, wild animals don't make good pets.
I only hoped he was alright and hadn't been shot down by some horrible poacher or a larger predator or something. Great, now I was filled with anxiety. Shit.
Thank you again, stupid, self sabotaging, torturous brain.
I put the thought out of my mind best that I could, and looked back toward the computer screen. I typed in a word on my deliciously springy keyboard, one purposeful, satisfying letter at a time, taking in all the bliss it brought to my fingers, and ASMR goodness it washed over my anxious brain.
Once again a ridiculous amount of results populated on my screen. I remembered mine and Hayden's conversation from earlier and I typed in 'High Wiccan Council' into the search window at the top of the page. One single search result popped up.
I clicked the link and waited for the page to load, tapping my fingers impatiently on the desk. When the page loaded all it said was High Wiccan Council at the top of the page. Underneath it were the words Glasgow, Scotland. After that was a list of thirteen names, and no other links.
This was frustrating. Why did everything have to be so secretive?
I went back to searching for general Wiccan material and continued to take extensive notes. My pile of five pages had grown into half a book of information. I felt like I could read forever and never master every aspect of Wiccan knowledge.
From herbs and ruins, to spells and history, Wicca was such a rich religion. The concept of a goddess was easy enough to grasp, I mean nobody ever said god himself had a distinct gender, I thought of the movie Dogma where Alanis Mooresette played the role of God.
I figured God probably had many forms, why couldn't one of them be feminine? After all if he did create women, he had to have some sort of inspiration right? Why couldn't that inspiration be Alanis. I actually really vibed with the idea that it was.
After that everything was simple— the threefold law; ever mind the rule of three, what thou sends comes back to thee. That was ethics 101, treat those how you want to be treated, O.K. easy enough.
There were so many stories, so many poems and tidbits; I could have read for days. I came across a page about healing magick, this intrigued me especially. I loved the idea of helping somebody to heal from the inside out. It was a beautiful thought and I definitely wanted to know more. My searching lasted most of the night, and I barely got any sleep before school the next day.
Ugh. Yay me, but then again— nothing new.