I knew it. I knew Rahman was going to be a pain in the ass. The way he kept quibbling and twisting his words was enough to make even my very patient lizard Greg roll his eyes—if lizards could even roll their eyes. Spoiler: they can't. He just flicked his tongue at me like, bro, don't do it.
But Dehya? Oh, she wasn't about to sit there and listen to Rahman's nonsense. The moment he started spouting more garbage about deals and betrayals, she just snapped. One second she was glaring, the next she was already throwing hands like the desert didn't have enough sandstorms.
Dehya shouted at Rahman, her voice sharp like a blade. He smirked, because apparently he thought he could take her. Idiot.
Me? My fists were already tightening. My brain went full Aight, it's punching time again! Finally! My moment! My redemption arc! My heroic entrance! My—
A firm hand grabbed my shoulder.
I turned, ready to tell Paimon to stop riding piggyback on me again, but nope. It was Cyno. His eyes were glowing with that scary "I'll erase you from existence" calm.
"Stay back," Cyno said flatly.
"Yeah, let them settle this," Alhaitham added, stepping right beside him. He didn't even look at me. He just… adjusted his cloak like some smug book model.
"What do you mean let them? This is my punching quota for the day! My hands are literally begging for violence right now!" I pointed at my fists. "Look, they're shaking."
"They're shaking because you're an idiot," Alhaitham muttered.
I gasped. "Mr. Biceps, that was uncalled for."
Nilou gave me a worried glance. "Shigeru… maybe listen to them this time?"
Lumine nodded. "For once. Please."
Paimon jabbed a finger at me. "Yeah! Don't go starting a sand avalanche or something again!"
Okay, rude. That was one time. And technically, not my fault. Sand is unstable by nature.
Greg climbed from my shoulder to the top of my head, flicking his tail against my forehead, like listen to them, idiot.
So I stood there, sulking, watching Dehya absolutely wreck Rahman's gang. Dust and sparks flew everywhere. It was like watching a live-action action movie, except with more yelling and way less popcorn.
I muttered under my breath, "Man, why do they always get the cool fight scenes while I just get sand in my pants?"
"Because you cause enough chaos without weapons," Lumine replied without even looking at me.
Nilou giggled softly, trying to calm her nerves. "I think you make things exciting in your own way."
"See? Goddess gets it," I said proudly, puffing out my chest.
Greg smacked the back of my head with his tail again. Traitor.
And then—
"Hey!" one of Rahman's men yelled, pointing straight at Dehya. "Flame-Mane!"
Dehya didn't flinch. She just snarled back, fists still burning.
The guy jabbed his blade forward. "What do you think you're doing!?"
Before Dehya could answer, a smaller, trembling voice broke out.
"Isak!" I turned, my head snapping so fast Greg almost flew off me.
"Grandpa!"
Wait. Grandpa?
Another Rahman lackey shouted, trying to act tough, pointing his blade at Isak's gramps. "Don't you see this blade here—?"
But then his voice cracked. "Y-you coward! Why are your hands shaking—"
And that's when the ground rumbled.
At first, I thought it was my stomach. (Hey, I skipped breakfast, don't judge.) But then the entire floor of the desert started trembling like a toddler shaking a toy. Sand began sinking beneath our feet, swirling in terrifying spirals.
"Earthquake!" Rahman's man screamed.
"No, really?!" I yelled back. "I thought it was just desert salsa night!"
Nilou grabbed my arm, panicked. "Shigeru—what's happening!?"
Paimon flew straight into my hair, muffling her scream against my scalp. "It's happening again! We're all gonna die!"
Even Lumine's eyes widened, her calm expression finally cracking. "Not good…"
The Rahman gang scrambled like ants, shouting nonsense, dropping weapons. And in the middle of all the chaos—
The unconscious old scholar suddenly moved.
My jaw dropped. "Wait. Grandpa DLC unlocked!?"
The man's body surged with a blinding green light, energy bursting out of him like he was some desert superhero no one ordered. He shot forward, swifter than anything, and embraced Isak like it was the last hug in the world.
Isak sobbed, clinging tight. "Grandpa!"
Rahman's men froze, one whispering, "Wait a second… it really is an… earthquake!"
"Yeah, buddy," I muttered. "Thanks for the weather report."
Then it happened.
A giant sphere of green light exploded outward from Grandpa himself, engulfing all of us. A shield, massive, shimmering, humming with power, wrapped around our group like a giant turtle shell made of glowing emerald.
We sank. The sand swallowed us whole.
Nilou buried her face against my arm. "Shigeru, what's going on!?"
Lumine gripped her sword tighter, steadying herself. "Hold on!"
Paimon screamed into my ear. "WE'RE GONNA BE SQUISHED!"
Greg just blinked slowly, completely unbothered, like finally, some peace and quiet underground.
And me? I stared at the old man, my brain struggling to catch up.
"Did…" I whispered, wide-eyed. "Did this grandpa just cast a level 99 barrier spell out of nowhere?"
The shield pulsed, dragging us further underground, deeper and deeper. I swore I could still hear the Rahman gang screaming above as they got swallowed by the sand.
And Isak? He just held his glowing grandpa tighter, crying over and over.
"Grandpa…"
***
Sand. Everywhere. In my mouth, in my ears, in places sand should never, ever be. If someone cracked me open right now, I'd be a walking hourglass. All thanks to Grandpa pulling some anime-level barrier spell and dragging us underground like we were VIP guests at an all-you-can-eat dirt buffet.
I spat out a mouthful of grit. "Blegh! Okay. Roll call. Who's alive? Raise your hand. Or tail." I nudged Greg, who was somehow perched on my shoulder again like the absolute king he was. Not a speck of sand on him. "Unbelievable. How do you look cleaner than me? Do you have, like, lizard dry-cleaning mode or something?"
Greg flicked his tongue twice, slow and judgmental. Basically the reptile equivalent of saying get good, scrub.
Paimon wobbled in midair, clutching her head. "Uhh… Paimon's dizzy…" She groaned, spun halfway around, and almost bonked into a rock. "This place is spinning…"
"Don't worry," I said, still flat on the ground. "If you fall, you'll just be closer to the dirt buffet. Free refills!"
"Ugh, you're impossible." Lumine pushed herself up, brushing sand off her hair. Her glare could have killed me if sandstorms hadn't already tried. "Is everyone okay!?"
I groaned dramatically, lying flat like I'd just fought thirty dragons. "Probably. I mean, no blood, no corpses. That's a win in my book."
She shot me the sharpest glare. "Not helpful."
"Correction." I raised a finger from my sand coffin pose. "Very helpful. Morale booster. Certified doctor words. Probably."
Nilou stumbled next to me, her copper hair now a sandy mess. She tried to shake it out, which only caused more sand to puff up in her face. She laughed nervously, then reached down and pulled me to my feet. "You really don't make anything easy, do you, Shigeru?"
"Wrong. I make everything entertaining." I bowed dramatically, spitting out another line of sand mid-bow. "…Mostly."
Nilou giggled and brushed some sand off my shoulder. "You're ridiculous."
"Correction," I pointed at myself, "I'm charming. Big difference."
Greg bobbed his head once, like he disagreed with everyone.
Dehya's voice growled from nearby. "Ugh. This day's going just great…" She was covered head to toe in dust, looking like a very angry cookie.
Alhaitham adjusted his cloak, perfectly calm like nothing had happened. "Hmph. What a nuisance."
Cyno, standing dead serious as usual, inspected the cavern around us. "The sand dune collapsed."
I threw my hands up. "Gee, thanks Professor Obvious. I thought we just slipped into a giant underground ball pit."
Lumine crossed her arms, her voice sharp. "Do you ever take anything seriously?"
I shrugged, spitting sand again. "I take Greg seriously. Look at him. Untouched. Unstoppable. He's clearly the main character here, not me."
Greg closed his eyes, flicked his tongue, and puffed his throat slightly. He agreed.
Cyno ignored me, as always. "I saw an energy field. The Village Keeper protected us. It glowed green with Dendro. Just like you said, it may well have been the remains of Lesser Lord Kusanali's power inside the scholar's body."
Lumine's eyes narrowed but her tone carried a hint of satisfaction. "No doubt. You finally believe me."
Cyno hesitated, then muttered. "…The Dendro Archon. The present one."
Nilou smiled softly. "So it really was her power… That means we were saved by her grace."
Meanwhile, Isak was kneeling beside his grandpa, shaking him gently. "Grandpa? Grandpa? Oh no, he's getting confused again…"
Alhaitham's voice cut in, calm but pointed. "Hey. Look around you."
We all did. And wow. The place was massive—pillars, carvings, the works. It looked like some kind of lost palace cosplay. If someone rolled up with a ticket booth, I wouldn't even question it.
Dehya squinted. "Did there use to be a… temple here?"
Alhaitham nodded slowly. "It seems that when the sand dune collapsed, it exposed these underground structures. The symbols on the gate belong to King Deshret's civilization. This structure must be ancient. Over time, the sandstorms completely buried it, and left it in the state we see now. It could have been an underground palace in the distant past."
"Fantastic," I muttered. "We've just unlocked the deluxe edition of Ancient Death Traps and Company. Can't wait for the complimentary spike floors."
Nilou squeezed my hand gently. "Don't jinx it, Shigeru."
"Too late. I'm cursed. We all are."
Rahman, covered in sand and still alive for some reason, suddenly dropped to his knees. "Ohhh… A miracle! Praise King Deshret!"
I slapped my forehead. "Oh, great. He's still here. Why couldn't the sand pick favorites?"
Paimon zipped up and pointed. "Wait, what's he doing here!? And his men, too?"
Dehya folded her arms, glaring at the surviving mercenaries. "They must have fallen down here with us. Pretty lucky if you ask me."
One of the mercenaries groaned nearby. "Ugh… Oh…"
Dehya gestured. "Most of them seem in really bad shape, except for him. He got off lightly."
Rahman sniffed, trying to look dignified while covered in dust. "…Hmph."
Cyno warned him, his tone cold. "Mind your head."
Rahman waved dismissively. "No, no, this isn't the time for conflict… Our exalted lord has shown us the way to his sacred palace."
I threw my arms out. "Awesome. So now we have Weird Guy Squad teaming up with Weird Guy Number Two Squad. This trip's about to be smoother than sandpaper."
Nilou giggled, slipping her hand into mine. "Maybe it won't be so bad."
I looked at her, then at the chaos all around us, then at Greg who just flicked his tongue like he agreed with literally no one. "…Yeah. Sure. Nothing bad ever happens when suspicious cult dudes and smug scholars decide to go sightseeing in ancient death palaces."
Greg climbed down from my shoulder to the top of my head like he wanted a better view of the incoming disaster. King behavior.
Lumine sighed, already looking exhausted. "This is going to be a nightmare."
Paimon groaned. "Paimon just wants to go home…"
I patted Greg's belly as he perched proudly on my head. "Legend. Absolute legend."
And with that, our newly expanded circus caravan prepared to step into the world's dustiest palace tour. What could possibly go wrong?
Everything.
There. I said it.
***
Alright, so here's how it went down.
We decided to keep going deeper into the ruins, which was already a bad idea considering the architecture looked like it was designed by someone who hated human happiness. The walls were jagged, sharp, and the carvings on them screamed, "If you're reading this, you're about to die in a horrifying way." Okay maybe not literally, but that's what it felt like to me. Imagine ghostly nightmare fuel slapped on sandstone, yeah, that's the vibe.
"Shigeru…" Nilou's soft voice reached me. "Why are you frowning like that?"
"I'm not frowning. I'm just… spiritually squinting. This whole place looks like it wants to eat me."
Greg blinked at me from my shoulder. His little lizard face did that slow head tilt, like even he was judging me.
"Don't look at me like that, Greg. You don't get it. You're a reptile. You thrive in creepy holes. Me? I'm a man of sunlight and… snacks."
Paimon snorted. "Since when were you a man of sunlight? You're like… more of a man of stupid decisions."
"Wow. Thank you, floating insult generator. I'll put that on my grave after I get buried alive here."
Lumine sighed. "If you can still joke like that, you're fine."
"Correction," I pointed, "if I stop joking, that's when you run. That means the apocalypse has begun."
Dehya, walking ahead, muttered, "I'll keep that in mind. But honestly, I don't think you're capable of shutting up."
Greg flicked his tongue twice in agreement.
We eventually found this big door with a weird mechanism. And of course, Lumine, with her magical protagonist powers, managed to figure it out like it was child's play. Click, clunk, whoosh—door opened.
I raised my hands dramatically. "See? Main character energy. If that had been me, we'd all be dead by now."
"Exactly why you shouldn't touch things," Lumine said flatly.
And then—BAM. Green leafy paradise inside.
I'm not kidding. Out of nowhere. Plants. Vines. Actual flowers. Like some nature documentary decided to invade the desert. I just stood there blinking at it.
"…Oh right. This was in the game too." The words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop them.
Everyone turned to look at me.
"…The… game?" Nilou asked slowly.
"Uh. I meant. Uh. This is a total surprise to me too. Definitely. Wow. Crazy. Plants. In a desert ruin. Who could have seen this coming?" I laughed nervously and gestured like a clown.
Nilou giggled behind her hand. "You really are suspicious sometimes, Shigeru."
Lumine sighed and shook her head. "Don't mind him, Nilou. He's like this all the time."
Cyno's voice cut through. "It's full of life here. This defies comprehension… It looked completely desolate from the outside, yet it flows with energy inside."
"Yeah, and there's so many plants. It's so pretty," Paimon chimed in, already floating toward some flowers like she was about to get pollen allergies. "Ohhh, they smell so fresh too!"
"Careful," Dehya warned. "Pretty flowers usually mean poisonous bugs."
"Thanks for the optimism, Fire Mommy," I said. "Can't wait for the Death by Flower arc."
Greg crawled down to my arm and stared at a vine like he was debating eating it. "Don't you dare," I whispered. He blinked slowly, unbothered.
Alhaitham, being his usual composed self, looked at Rahman. "Sir Rahman."
Rahman blinked. "…Huh? Me?"
"Do you see another Rahman here?"
"…Are you mocking me? What do you mean, 'Sir'?"
"Interpret it however you want, but there's something I'd like to draw your attention to," Alhaitham said smoothly. "While this structure is clearly left over from King Deshret's civilization, the energy that flows in here is that of the Dendro Archon."
Rahman just squinted, clearly fighting the urge to tell him to shove it. "…Whatever you say. It's not like I have a Vision."
"There's nothing to be angry about. Think of this as an academic journey."
"…Ugh."
Dehya crossed her arms. "It does seem kinda strange. If that's true, then… we might have to explore this whole area to find an explanation."
Cyno nodded. "This is no ordinary ruin. Proceed with caution."
At this point, I decided to contribute my endless wisdom. "Alright, let's just continue exploring, but please—please—don't touch anything weird. I don't want to get buried alive in this place. I have girlfriends."
Lumine deadpanned, not even hesitating. "Those said girlfriends are with you right now, you know?"
I pointed at her. "Exactly! Which is why I need to survive! Think about it. If I die, both my girlfriends would be sad."
She stared at me with the most soul-draining look I'd ever seen. "…Shigeru. We're right here. You're not making sense."
Nilou flushed slightly but smiled. "…It is true though. We'd be sad."
Dehya sighed. "Honestly, Shigeru should be the last person to touch anything. For safety measures."
"I agree," Lumine said, arms crossed. "You flirt with chaos like you're having an affair with it."
"Yeah!" Paimon floated closer. "You can't even go five minutes without making trouble!"
Nilou raised her hand softly. "…I think I agree too. Just a little. You're… very reckless sometimes, Shigeru."
Alhaitham, without missing a beat: "Especially him."
I just froze, looking around the group. "…Wow. I'm getting bullied in 4k."
Greg did a slow nod.
"Et tu, Greg?!" I clutched my chest dramatically. "Betrayed by my scaly son."
Cyno finally spoke, calm as ever. "It's not betrayal if it's true."
"Et tu TOO, Cyno!?"
And everyone just kept walking, like ganging up on me was the most natural thing in the world.
____________
End of Chapter 128
Quests Completed:
*Survive Rahman's posturing and Dehya's explosion of fists. Outcome: Rahman's gang gets wrecked, Isak reunites with his glowing grandpa, and the desert itself decides to yeet everyone into a buried palace.
*Attempt to jump into the brawl, only to be shoulder-checked by Cyno and verbally assassinated by Alhaitham. Result: +1 Sulk, +10 Team Sanity.
*Inhale, swallow, and choke on ungodly amounts of sand during the underground collapse. (Party members unimpressed. Greg pristine.)
*Witness Isak's grandpa pull a level 99 Dendro shield out of nowhere, confirming suspicions about Archon residue. Everyone else: reverent. Shigeru: "Did Grandpa just patch in barrier hacks?"
*Discover the long-buried ruins beneath the desert, decorated with nightmare fuel carvings that scream "abandon hope ye who enter."
*Enter a secret underground oasis filled with lush plants and suspiciously wholesome vibes. Party awe-struck. Shigeru immediately suspects death flowers.
*Forced to stand aside as Lumine unlocks the ruin mechanism with ease. Realize your own role is basically "walking comic relief."
*Watch as every party member (including Nilou, reluctantly) and Greg gang up to vote: Shigeru should not touch anything ever again.
Rewards:
*Adventure EXP +6,200
*+23,500, (It fell from Rahman's purse. I picked it up by accident.)
*Companionship EXP: +510 (Lumine, Nilou, Paimon, Greg, Dehya, Cyno, Alhaitham
*Grandpa's Emerald Barrier Fragment (Proof of miracle; faintly pulses with Dendro energy)
*Desert Palace Map Fragment (Unfolds automatically when close to sealed rooms)
*Nilou's Sand-Dusted Smile (Restores 15 Morale instantly)
*Lumine's Protagonist Lockpick Energy (Grants +5 Party Progression)
*Dehya's Angry Cookie Aura (Nearby enemies -10 Courage)
*Alhaitham's Cloak Flip of Smugness (+5 Smug, permanent debuff to Shigeru's ego)
*Cyno's Flat Voice of Authority (Cancels 1 Chaos Attempt per day)
*Greg's Betrayal Tail Smack II (Upgraded passive: Activates during group votes)
Achievement Unlocked:
"Underground VIP Tour"
-Get forcibly dragged by miracle barrier into a buried palace, survive the sand buffet, and still make jokes with a mouthful of grit.