Learning to dance in such a short amount of time wasn't realistic, but learning how to walk? That was doable.
At least, after thirty minutes of hands-on coaching from Cohen, they no longer dropped to all fours while walking.
"They're ready for work now," the Earl commented dryly. "They've finally taken their first step toward becoming human."
"Good. Try walking back and forth a few more times."
Cohen continued coaching the three "girls" who were gritting their teeth as they awkwardly practiced walking.
"Sissoko, stop shuffling! Pick your foot up—shuffle too much and you'll trip."
Ugh, being human is so inconvenient... Sissoko glared at her uncooperative legs. Snakes had it so much easier. How are you even used to this kind of body…?
"I learned how to be a snake in just a few minutes," Cohen replied casually. "Anyway, walking isn't the hard part anymore. The real problem is your speech…"
He glanced at the two serpent girls who were still hissing instead of speaking, then at the unicorn girl who only communicated like—well—a unicorn.
This… might be a bit of a challenge.
"Wait a sec!" Cohen suddenly had an idea. He turned to Sissoko with wide eyes. "Say something again?"
Huh? What? Sissoko blinked, confused. Did I say it in human language just now?
"No, it's just—I remember adjusting your voice channel. So why do you still sound like you've got a beard full of gravel when you speak?" Cohen circled her, inspecting. "Something's not right…"
"All I hear is hissing," the Earl said, tilting his head. "You want to teach them how to speak? That might be tricky—forty-eight phonemes and thousands of words. And you've only got twenty-four hours."
Technically, a crash course in basic English might be enough for the ball—"come" means come, "go" means go, "yes" is nodding, and "no" is shaking your head. But Cohen wasn't really up for the effort—especially with these serpent girls, who were 100% snake. Honestly, a full week probably wouldn't be enough to teach them.
"There's no time for that," Cohen muttered, rubbing his temple. "Forget it. You don't need to talk anyway—ball dates aren't required to speak. We'll head to the ball at this time tomorrow. Until then, Earl, you need to buy some proper dress robes. You can't wear my old ones."
"It's already late," the Earl yawned.
"Use the rest of the money to buy your owl-Viagra or whatever," Cohen said, tossing a bag of Galleons at him.
"That's a special egg-laying enhancer!" the Earl protested. "Stop calling it something so indecent!"
"Marketing name or not, it's still basically owl Viagra," Cohen shrugged. "Now hurry up and take their measurements before the shops in Hogsmeade close."
I want lamb! the little snake girl cried, clutching her stomach.
"Cooked only." Cohen stuffed a leftover leg of lamb into her hands. But remembering her usual tendency to swallow things whole, he quickly added, "Don't just swallow it—you'll choke—"
GULP—
Too late.
The lamb bone got stuck in her throat immediately.
Spit it out! I told you not to eat so fast! Sissoko rushed over, trying to dislodge the bone from her throat.
Sissoko had done this enough times to become a pro. Even in a different body, the routine was the same. Though her movements were a bit rough—her first instinct had been to pick up the little snake girl and shake her upside down. But her human arms weren't strong enough, nor tall enough, so she had to go with the more practical solution: just yank it out.
"How did you even manage to jam something that big down your throat?!" Cohen looked on in disbelief as the little snake girl wiggled her head and swallowed hard. "It's bigger than your entire mouth!"
Good thing he brought Sissoko along. He didn't even want to imagine the panic that would've happened if the little snake girl choked to death on a chicken leg during the Yule Ball with Harry.
"And you—don't eat my textbooks!" Cohen turned toward the unicorn girl, trying to talk to her. But clearly, none of these three were going to make life easy.
The unicorn had noticed the huge stack of food, books, and parchment on Cohen's desk. After sniffing around and confirming the materials, she immediately abandoned her plate of food (and the Earl's finished essays—written on parchment) and began chomping on Cohen's textbooks instead.
"If you don't want meat, eat vegetables." Cohen managed to rescue his copy of Standard Book of Spells, Grade Four from her teeth and gestured to a plate. "See this?"
He filled a few plates with greens and even threw in some sugar cubes to ease her transition.
"Alright, you all rest here tonight. You can head back into the suitcase if you want," Cohen sighed. "If you really can't stand being human, just ask the goat to turn you back. No pressure."
I want to dance! said the little snake girl cheerfully, already forgetting the choking incident.
Well, we're already here. I might as well keep an eye on her… Sissoko let out a weary sigh. And to make you happy, I suppose…
So tasty— the unicorn crunched on a cabbage leaf, then happily devoured a few sugar cubes. Her eyes sparkled as she turned to Cohen. Do you have any wine?
"No drinking while you're human," Cohen firmly said. "Otherwise, that old man's going to accuse me of corrupting minors again."
Honestly, apart from the fact they couldn't speak or dance, these three were pretty good dance partners.
At least Cohen thought so—it was better than showing up solo or dragging along a random classmate he didn't know well.
On Christmas Day, Harry and Ron had been trailing Cohen since early morning, eager to know who he was bringing to the Yule Ball.
"Relax, relax—you guys wait in the common room, I'll go get them."
Cohen pressed the two into the armchairs and left, ignoring their confused looks.
Soon enough, he returned—followed by three unfamiliar girls.
Cohen had shaped their human forms with careful detail. When it came to charming two hormone-addled teenage boys, he knew exactly what he was doing.
"Who are they…?" Harry asked, mouth agape.
"Kathy and Ruby," Cohen said smoothly, pulling two names out of thin air. "They're sisters. Be nice."
The little snake girl plopped right down in Harry's lap without a second thought. She'd seen him in the suitcase before, though every time she tried to slither onto him, he'd dodge.
Harry turned bright red, sucking in a sharp breath and leaning stiffly back into the chair, eyes fixed helplessly on "Ruby's" elegant dress robes.
Sissoko, on the other hand, had much better boundaries. He stood silently next to Ron, his eyes never leaving the little snake girl and Harry.
That one gesture—the way she just sat herself on Harry—gave Sissoko an incredibly uneasy feeling. It reminded him of the time Rolf Scamander suggested moving her to another habitat entirely.
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