"No way…" Harry looked at Cohen in disbelief.
To him, there was no way Hermione would've said yes to Krum—especially since she'd complained just before the First Task about how Krum brought noise wherever he went, especially in the library.
"You think it's impossible too, right?" Ron relaxed and broke into a grin. "Who'd ask Hermione anyway—I mean, we…"
"What are you laughing at—don't laugh!" Ginny smacked Ron's hand angrily.
Cohen figured Hermione must've asked Ginny not to tell Ron about going with Krum—probably with the reasoning: "So they won't laugh at me."
Right then, Hermione returned to the common room.
"Don't you guys need to eat?" she asked as she walked over and sat with the group. "I brought you something."
"Because—stop laughing!" Ginny snapped, though it didn't do any good. So she got straight to the point and said, "Because Ron asked Fleur… and got rejected!"
Ron stopped laughing immediately.
"Thanks a lot, Ginny," he said through gritted teeth.
"Ran out of pretty girls, huh, Ron?" Hermione said haughtily, looking down her nose at him. "Don't worry—I'm sure there's someone somewhere willing to take you."
Ron glared at her, irritated—then something shifted in his expression. His anger turned into… hope?
"Hermione…"
"What?" she asked, giving him a suspicious look.
"You're a girl—"
"Wow, great observation," Hermione said sharply. "Took you three years to figure that one out?"
"I mean—you're a great girl… You could pick between me and Harry—or Cohen. He said two girls fought over him, so I guess he's taken… Wait, don't tell me—you two already agreed to go together? Neither of you said who you were going with, but now it all makes sense…"
"Nope. Mine's not from Hogwarts," Cohen replied.
"WHAT?!" Harry felt like "What?!" was becoming his catchphrase for the day.
"Then choose between me and Harry," Ron urged. "We need dates. We'll be total losers if we don't have one—everyone else will—"
"I can't go with either of you," Hermione said, her cheeks turning red. "I've already said yes to someone else."
"Krum?" Harry asked, confused.
Hermione's eyes went wide. She immediately turned to Ginny.
"I didn't tell them!" Ginny raised her hands quickly in defense.
"Krum told us he likes you," Harry explained, not wanting Ginny to take the fall.
"WHAT?!" Ron's ears turned crimson. "KRUM?! But I thought you hated him! Didn't you say he was just a big, dumb jock with nothing but a name?!"
"At least he asked me!"
Hermione shouted back.
"So what if it took you three years to realize I'm a girl? That doesn't mean no one else noticed! And if you thought I wasn't a valid choice, then don't wait until the very last second, when you've got no one left, to suddenly think of me!"
She stormed off to the girls' dormitory, not even glancing back.
"You guys knew Krum liked Hermione and didn't tell me?" Ron snapped at Cohen and Harry.
"Because I honestly didn't think Hermione would be into Krum either," Harry admitted.
"You should've asked her sooner," Cohen said, shaking his head with regret. "Remember what I told you? 'Do you want a partner, or do you want Krum?'"
Ron now looked like he was sulking at himself more than anything.
"Ginny?" Harry suddenly remembered there was another girl right there.
"Oh, right!" Ron perked up. "Ginny, maybe you could go with Harry—he really needs a date… I'll just skip it—"
"Uh… I can't," Ginny said nervously, clearly regretting her decision a little. "I already said yes to Neville—he asked me after Hermione turned him down. I figured, well, I'm not even in fourth year yet. If I don't get an invite, I can't go…"
"Then, Cohen—" Harry turned to Cohen like a drowning man seeing land, "didn't you say… two girls fought over you?"
"Mm-hmm," Cohen nodded. "What, you planning to poach one of them?"
"I just need a partner… or I'll be the joke of the night. I'll pay, even—"
"Woah, sounds like I'm pimping now." Cohen clicked his tongue. "Bit tricky, but there's still a week. It's doable."
"Does your dance partner have any friends?" Ron looked hopeful again. "Anyone's fine—as long as they're a girl—"
"*Anyone?*" Cohen asked, clearly entertained.
"As long as it's a girl, I don't care!" Ron said, throwing in the towel. "Otherwise I won't just be a joke—I'll be Hermione's joke for *years.*"
"Alright, there's still time. Let's give it a shot." Cohen grinned mischievously.
Now the little snake didn't have to duel the unicorn for attention anymore, Sisoko was in a good mood, and Cohen's three wishes were about to come true all at once.
"Oh my God, Lord Cohen!" Ron exclaimed with gratitude. "Thank you so much—I feel like I can breathe again!"
"Phew…" Harry sighed in relief too.
Back in the suitcase, the competition was already over.
The unicorn had won with a slightly better alcohol tolerance and much better jokes. They'd planned to settle it with a goat-eating contest as a tiebreaker, but since unicorns are herbivores, the goat refused to participate in what it deemed an unfair challenge from Sisoko and the old snake.
The little snake had curled up miserably, while Sisoko and the elder snake were flanking it, trying to cheer it up.
"Don't be sad—you still get to go to the dance," Cohen said, reaching down to pet the bottom-most layer of the coiled-up snake where its head was tucked.
{Really?} the little snake mumbled.
{Really,} Cohen nodded. {I've got two friends who need dates too. You'll go out with us.}
The little snake instantly perked up.
{Yay!}
{Three of you, huh…} Sisoko was calculating something. {One for the unicorn, one for Sophia—wait, does that mean you're taking me too? I get to dance with you?!}
{Bingo.} Cohen smirked. {But not quite.}
{I'm not dancing with a human.} Sisoko recoiled immediately. {And definitely not one of your male friends!}
{You said it yourself,} Cohen cackled. {Your body'll be female by then—makes no difference.}
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