Klee looked like she had just discovered the treasure of her dreams.
Standing atop the city wall, she bounced up and down with excitement, shouting "RPG!"
Her gaze darted between the blasted crater in the ground and the nearby Fortress No. 3 and No. 4.
The anticipation in her wide eyes was impossible to miss.
Her adorable behavior made Ryen and the others even more fond of her.
Zhongli, too, couldn't help but recall that mischievous witch Alice from the past.
From this perspective, Klee's personality really was exactly like Alice's.
However...
Jean and Lisa exchanged a look, and in that glance, they both saw the same inner panic.
Klee... had set her sights on the RPG.
This was a catastrophe waiting to happen.
Klee's regular Jumpy Dumpty bombs were already terrifying enough—their explosive force was substantial.
And with her chaotic mom occasionally mailing her high-risk materials to experiment with...
Jean had personally witnessed Klee's high-powered bomb testing once—one single explosion had practically flattened Windwail Highland.
If she hadn't seen it with her own eyes, who would've believed the flat plain Windwail had become used to be a mountainous region?
Who would believe that kind of destruction came from a child?
Klee's Jumpy Dumpties were already basically forbidden in Mondstadt.
And now, Klee had her eye on an RPG...
Given how powerful that thing was in this world, it was safe to say—even conservatively—it had more firepower than Klee's mid-tier Jumpy Dumpty bombs.
If Klee got her hands on an RPG, Mondstadt wouldn't last three days before needing to be rebuilt.
The real problem was...
Ryen spoiled Klee rotten. If she asked for the stars, he'd bring them down for her. If she asked for the moon, he'd hand it over without question.
If Klee even hinted that she wanted one...
Wait!
Jean glanced over at Ryen and saw the hint of excitement in his eyes. Cold sweat broke out all over her body.
Klee didn't even need to ask—Ryen was about to offer it to her himself!
Sure enough, before Jean could stop him, Ryen was already looking lovingly at Klee.
"Klee, do you really want—"
"Ryen!"
Jean cried out in alarm and leapt up, covering Ryen's mouth mid-sentence.
"Hmm???"
Ryen looked at her in total confusion. In his impression, Jean was never one to act so rashly.
Wait… Could it be? Did Jean… like him too?
Lisa, meanwhile, was quietly wiping cold sweat off her brow. She stepped forward and linked arms with Ryen.
"Let's go have a little chat over there..."
"Wait, but Klee still—"
"Now."
Jean and Lisa took Ryen by both arms and hurried him away.
Hu Tao watched the scene, utterly dumbfounded.
She only ever dared sneak off with Ryen when Ganyu wasn't around.
And now these two...
They made a move on her man right in front of her?!
Wasn't she, Hu Tao, supposed to be the official main wife now?
And these mistresses were just going to ignore her like that?
Pouting furiously, Hu Tao was just about to march over and argue with them when she was stopped by Albedo.
He spoke a bit awkwardly, "Don't worry, Director Hu. Captain Jean and the others aren't trying to steal your man. They're just worried about Klee..."
"Worried about Klee?"
Hu Tao gave him a skeptical look. What kind of nonsense excuse was that? What did that have to do with abducting her man?
Albedo didn't explain further. He simply motioned toward Klee.
At that moment, Klee stood there, looking sweet and innocent as ever, right in front of Dashi.
Her head tilted up, her wide eyes brimming with hope.
"Big brother! That thing that makes the big mushroom clouds—is it called an RPG?"
Dashi froze for a moment, but he didn't dare treat Klee casually. She was, after all, Ryen's precious little girl—someone he'd been doting on ever since he got here.
Besides, with Klee looking up at him like that, so adorably...
No one could say no to that face.
His expression softened, and he nodded.
"That's right. It's a thermal weapon granted to us by Master Ryen—an RPG rocket launcher. When it explodes, it really does make a mushroom cloud."
"Then... then can Klee play with one? Please, big brother?"
Klee made her intentions clear with childlike honesty.
Dashi froze again.
He hadn't expected such a tiny little girl to be so deeply in love with something like this.
From the look in her eyes, she really meant it.
If it were someone like Zhongli or the others asking, Dashi would've handed it over without question.
But this was a child...
Letting a kid play with a rocket launcher? Even if it wasn't a safety issue, Dashi could already imagine Ningguang getting so furious she'd fire him on the spot.
After all, thermal weapons in the hands of a three-year-old were just as lethal as in the hands of a thirty-year-old.
They could still kill.
Dashi stood there, frozen, casting a pleading look toward Zhongli.
Zhongli sighed. He recalled how Alice had once proposed blowing up the entire Chasm. The memory left him with mixed feelings.
That unreliable mother really had passed her eccentric hobbies down to the next generation...
"Klee."
Albedo stepped forward and crouched beside her, gently ruffling her hair.
"These are weapons used by the Qianyan Army to protect our homes and people. They can't just be loaned out, okay?"
"And besides, lending out something so dangerous puts everyone at risk."
Klee's eyes dimmed a little, and she nodded sadly.
But she still responded maturely:
"Klee understands... It's just like my Jumpy Dumpty bombs—if someone else plays with them, it could be dangerous, right, Albedo big brother?"
Albedo breathed a sigh of relief and said softly:
"That's exactly right."
Klee nodded seriously and turned to look at Da Shi.
"Big brother Qianyan Army, I'm sorry! Klee shouldn't have asked to borrow the weapon you use to protect everyone!"
Dashi quickly waved his hands.
"It's really fine. It's just that Master Ryen said these weapons must be strictly controlled and can't be casually lent out. Otherwise, we'd definitely let Miss Klee play with them for a while."
In his heart, Dashi was deeply moved.
No wonder Ryen liked Klee so much—she really was a sweet, sensible, and adorable little sprite.
Who wouldn't dote on someone like her?
If these hot weapons were his to freely manage, he'd definitely hand one over to Klee to play with without a second thought.
Although Klee was still eyeing the RPG longingly, at least she wasn't throwing a tantrum to get it.
Dashi quickly gave orders for his men to go collect supplies.
On the other side—
Jean and Lisa dragged Ryen to a corner. Only after confirming they were out of Klee's earshot did they release him.
Ryen rubbed his nose, still feeling the warmth of their arms on his.
He spread his hands with a helpless expression.
"Hey now, are you two kidnapping me for nefarious purposes or what? It's a bit bold doing this in public. If you want to talk, why not wait until we're back at the villa?"
Jean's face flushed red. For a moment, she didn't know how to respond.
Lisa, however, didn't mind Ryen's teasing. She smiled playfully and leaned in closer.
"Really? I wouldn't be opposed. If you can get Ganyu and Hu Tao out of the way, I might pay you a visit tonight~"
Ryen chuckled, not pursuing the matter further.
He hadn't even figured out how to deal with Hu Tao yet. If Lisa showed up, Hu Tao would probably tear him apart.
Looking back at Klee, she was resting her chin on the parapet, gazing longingly at the crater created by the RPG explosion.
It tugged at his heart a little.
"Ryen, were you actually planning to give Klee an RPG?"
Jean took a deep breath and asked with nervous urgency. Ryen nodded without hesitation.
"Of course. Klee seems to love that kind of thing."
"..."
Lisa pursed her lips and softly asked,
"So, you're really planning to give such a dangerous weapon to Klee?"
"Uh..."
Ryen was momentarily speechless, then waved it off.
"It's fine. Klee's a good kid—she won't hurt anyone. As long as she doesn't hurt people, she can blow up my house if she wants!"
"You're such a doting father type..."
Lisa rubbed her temples with a sigh.
"Did you ever consider our feelings when you decided to give Klee something so dangerous?"
Ryen grinned and shrugged.
"Of course I did. Didn't I give you two RPGs too?"
Jean grew anxious.
"That's not the point! We're talking about Klee!
Klee carrying a backpack full of bouncing bombs already gives us daily headaches.
She's still a playful child. In Mondstadt, she's always getting into trouble by blowing up fish.
She's flattened Windrise once, blew a hole in Mondstadt's city wall, and destroyed several rooms of the Knights of Favonius by accidentally detonating bombs during experiments.
Just a few days ago, while we were away, she collapsed a cave, destroyed some ruins, and even blew up two Fatui vanguard squads!"
"Klee is already dangerous!
If you give her an RPG now, she could level the entire city of Mondstadt!"
"Ryen, please... for Mondstadt's sake, don't do this. We really can't handle any more of her chaos!"
Ryen thought back on Klee's infamous past.
Though not quite as spectacular as her mother Alice—who famously blew up Dvalin's lair and created Stormterror's Lair—Klee's own "achievements" were pretty legendary too.
In this world, it might be fine so long as she didn't harm people. But back in Teyvat...
Yeah, it'd be a real problem.
Ryen pursed his lips, turned to look at Klee again. She was still staring longingly at the giant crater. His heart softened.
"But Klee loves it so much…"
"Ryen, you can't just spoil her like this!"
Lisa sighed, exasperated.
"I know you care about her, but if you keep indulging everything she wants, what if it leads her down the wrong path?"
Ryen fell silent for a moment. Deep down, he admitted Lisa had a point.
But still, he believed that a sensible child like Klee wouldn't be easily led astray.
Especially when he thought about Klee's eager little face, those eyes filled with hope, dreaming of owning her own RPG...
Hmm...
It was weird, but Ryen really couldn't say no.
After a long sigh, he finally relented.
"Alright, alright...
Until Klee learns to control her urge to blow things up, I won't give her any RPGs."
"But... I can give her something else, right?"
Jean and Lisa were briefly stunned, not quite understanding what he meant—but as long as he wasn't giving her an RPG, anything else was negotiable.
Mondstadt truly couldn't handle another Klee explosion.
The three of them returned to the others. Ryen knelt down beside Klee and patted her head gently.
"Klee really liked the explosion just now, huh?"
"Mhm! Klee loved it!"
Her big eyes sparkled brightly, though she didn't beg or ask for anything.
"Mom once said, art is a kind of mushroom!
But no matter how hard Klee tried with her bouncing bombs, she could never make a big mushroom..."
"But Mom always believed in Klee. One day, I'll be as amazing as Mom and make my own big mushroom!"
Her words were so sweet and innocent, but when Jean and Lisa remembered what kind of "mushroom" she meant...
Yeah, a cold sweat broke out.
After all, Alice's "big mushroom" had bloomed right in Stormterror's Lair.
That day, all of Teyvat came to fear the name Alice the Demolitionist.
"When Klee grows up a bit more, I'll give you some RPGs. How's that sound?"
"Really?!"
Klee's eyes sparkled even brighter, filled with hope as she looked at Ryen.
"Of course. As long as Klee behaves and grows up well, I'll give you a bigger, much bigger mushroom—one so big the whole of Teyvat can see it."
"But for now, I can give Klee a small present..."
As he spoke, Ryen took out a set of round, chubby objects and handed them to her.
"Klee, remember this—these are called grenades!"
~~----------------------
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