Mario stood in his apartment with the creeper egg balanced on his head. He turned to Kaecilius.
"Lock onto Natasha's position, and open the portal."
The familiar golden sparks materialized, forming a portal. Mario stepped through confidently, and immediately stumbled backward with a strangled yelp.
"OH MAMMA MIA! MY EYES!"
He clawed at his face, the creeper egg wobbling dangerously on his head. "Kaecilius, get me water! No, wait, get me bleach! I need to disinfect my eyeballs!"
An adult arm. A GODDAMN ADULT ARM.
Kaecilius stared at him in bewilderment. "What happened? What did you see?"
He couldn't imagine what could provoke such a dramatic reaction from someone like Mario. Curiosity getting the better of him, he leaned forward and peeked through the portal.
His expression remained utterly calm. If anything, there was a hint of disdain in his eyes. The Kamar-Taj library contained records of things far more disturbing than this, some even with detailed illustrations. The first time he'd stumbled across those particular scrolls, he'd nearly fallen into depravity himself. This? This was nothing.
"Help me..."
Natasha's voice drifted through the portal. He took a deep breath, steadied himself, and stepped back through.
The scene that greeted him was simultaneously hilarious and horrifying. The Hulk stood there with a broad, almost childlike smile, cradling a very uncomfortable-looking Black Widow in one massive green hand like she was a doll he'd just found.
After spotting her, the big green guy hadn't attacked, he'd "adopted" her instead.
Mario wasn't sure if it was because Hulk had just been "born" and was drawn to Natasha's feminine energy, or if the big guy just wanted a mother figure. Either way, it was deeply weird. At least her clothes were still intact. Things hadn't escalated to the "Hulk smash" level of awkwardness.
The moment Hulk spotted Mario emerging from the portal, recognition flashed across his face. The smile vanished, replaced by rage. His muscles swelled even larger, veins bulging across his skin.
"EN...E...MY..."
He tossed Natasha aside like yesterday's trash and charged straight at Mario. Each footstep left crater-deep prints in the ground, radiating unstoppable force.
Mario raised an eyebrow. He'd assumed the Hulk at this point in time was still in the "smash now, think never" phase of development.
The furious green giant closed the distance rapidly. Facing this, he pulled his battle sign from his inventory. The shield was practically designed for opponents like Hulk, it would be a crime not to use its Thorns property.
WHAM!
Hulk's earth-shattering punch connected with the shield. An invisible force absorbed all the kinetic energy, and Mario's arm didn't budge an inch.
Hulk's brain couldn't process what had just happened. He only had one thought: If one punch doesn't work, throw another.
ORA ORA ORA ORA...
Fire literally burned in Hulk's eyes as his fists became a blur, raining blow after blow onto the shield.
Mario just stood there holding the shield.
Is the Hulk always this aggressive? Does Banner even know about this side of him?
Out of respect for this true warrior spirit, he pulled out his cleaver.
The battle sign's reflection property worked like this: main-hand weapon damage + shield damage × 2, reflected back at the attacker. Once Mario equipped the cleaver in his main hand, each of Hulk's punches suddenly carried a hidden cost. But instead of backing down, Hulk only grew angrier and hit harder.
After more than twenty punches, blood began dripping from the corner of Hulk's mouth. His regeneration was fighting a losing battle against the accumulated reflected damage.
Mario envied Hulk's physiology. If it were him taking those reflected hits, he'd be dead after five.
Hulk's movements were slowing noticeably when a rumbling sound came from above. Mario glanced up to see several fighter jets screaming toward their position.
Hulk weakly raised his fist for another strike.
Since the military was already incoming, this was the perfect time to extract both Hulk and Banner.
CLANG!
Mario pulled out a frying pan and swung it with every ounce of strength he possessed, connecting with Hulk's skull. The giant's eyes rolled back immediately as he collapsed, his massive body rapidly shrinking. Within moments, the unconscious Banner lay on the ground.
"Kaecilius, tie him up. We're leaving, I've got a bad feeling about the military response. No civilians around here means they might get creative with their weapons."
This was the Marvel universe, after all. During the Battle of New York, with millions of civilians in danger, politicians had authorized a nuclear strike without even attempting conventional warfare first. The U.S. military wasn't much better, and out here in the wasteland with zero witnesses, they'd be even more reckless.
Following Mario's command, Kaecilius waved his hands. Several golden magical ropes appeared and bound Banner securely. Mario immediately started snapping photos with his phone.
Click. Click. Click.
From where she'd been thrown aside, Natasha finally recovered enough to approach. Seeing what Mario was doing, she asked, "What are you doing?"
Without looking up from his photo session, Mario replied cheerfully, "Just demonstrating my sincere interest in recruiting him."
"...What?"
Seeing her puzzled expression, Mario chuckled and explained, "I'm pretty sure he wouldn't want these photos getting out into the world."
Natasha stared at him.
Before the fighter jets could arrive, the three of them, carrying the unconscious Banner, stepped through the portal and returned to Mario's underground base beneath Central Park.
Looking at the unconscious scientist, Mario glanced around at the stone walls of his base and frowned.
"These rocks definitely won't hold if Hulk transforms again. I need to build him a special VIP suite."
Fortunately, he had plenty of special metals in his inventory. More than enough to construct a small reinforced containment room. Since he could recycle the materials later, it wouldn't really be a waste.
With Kaecilius opening another portal to the planet where Mario stored his metal stockpile, construction went quickly. Using a Construction Wand, Mario had a Hulk-proof room completed in under twenty minutes.
Seeing Natasha resting on the couch, he walked over and asked, "So what's he's deal? Why is he even back in the country?"
Now that she'd calmed down from her earlier ordeal, Natasha looked at him gratefully. "After the New York incident, he fled the United States. According to S.H.I.E.L.D. intel, he went to Thailand searching for ways to control his emotional triggers. For some reason, he came back recently. I hadn't even managed to contact him before the military found him."
She wasn't sure about the specifics, but Mario vaguely remembered something from the movies. Not that it mattered now. He walked into the VIP room and looked at Banner lying unconscious on the floor. Time to wake him up.
"Intimidate!"
It was just an Apprentice-tier necromancy spell, but judging from Banner's terrified eyes and the cold sweat beading on his forehead as he bolted upright, it worked quite well.
After steadying his breathing, he looked at Mario with eyes that still held traces of fear. He braced himself against the wall and instinctively tried to crawl backward, but there was nowhere to go.
"Who are you? Where am I?"
Mario silently added in his mind: And where am I going?
Smiling warmly, he took two steps forward into the room. "Me? Name's Mario. Dr. Banner, welcome to my company."
Banner's fear faded slightly, replaced by confusion. "Your company? When did I join? I don't remember anything about that."
"You don't remember because you're joining right now."
Like a magician performing a trick, Mario pulled a stack of papers from his coat. He'd had them printed by Anna during a recent visit to his legitimate business operations.
He stuffed the papers into Banner's arms, thoughtfully produced a pen, placed it in Banner's hand, and pointed to the signature line at the bottom. "Here, just sign your name."
Everything looked natural. Banner, still somewhat dazed, subconsciously gripped the pen and started writing his name.
Then reality kicked in. He looked up at Mario sharply. "Wait, no, why am I here? What exactly does your company do?"
Looking around at the walls, he instinctively reached up to adjust his glasses, only to realize they were missing.
"You're trying to imprison me, aren't you? Or rather, imprison that other guy inside me?"
Mario's expression didn't change. "After transforming, you retain some memories, right? I went through a lot of trouble to rescue you from the military. You have no idea what that was like..."
At that moment, Natasha, curious after hearing voices, entered the room. She knew Banner must have woken up.
Hearing Mario's boastful exaggeration, she gave him a look of disdain. Though deep down, she was grateful he'd saved her from the Hulk's "affection."
Standing beside Mario, she looked gently at Banner. "Dr. Banner, I'm Agent Natasha Romanoff from S.H.I.E.L.D. Under Director Fury's orders, I'm here to invite you to join our organization."
Before Banner could respond, Mario's gaze turned on Natasha. "You're poaching right in front of me?"
Natasha shook her head calmly. "That's the Director's order. I've said what I needed to say. The rest isn't my concern."
With that, she leaned against the doorway in a clear "I'm just watching" pose.
Mario shifted his attention back to Banner. In an instant, his expression softened again, and that warm smile returned.
"Dr. Banner, as long as you join my company, I can help you resolve the Hulk situation. I guarantee he won't interfere with your normal life anymore. In return, all I ask is that you use your considerable talents to contribute to my operations."
When Banner heard that Mario could help him solve the Hulk problem, excitement flooded his features. He'd risked returning to the United States precisely because someone had contacted him claiming they could help remove the monster inside him. But before he could find that person, the military had caught up to him.
"You can really get rid of the monster inside me?"
Mario's expression grew serious. He frowned slightly. "Let me remind you of something important. The being inside your body isn't a monster. He's another consciousness. His name is Hulk. He was born from within you, and right now his personality is like that of a child. Everything he does is simply an act of self-protection. He's not so different from you or me, just... significantly stronger."
Although in the future Banner and Hulk would merge into the so-called "Professor Hulk," right now they were far from being two aspects of the same person. They were two completely separate entities sharing one body.
Hearing Mario's explanation, Banner's expression turned complicated.
"Then... what should I do?"
Mario rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "You can call him out. I'll talk to him directly. Don't worry, it's safe here."
He wanted both Hulk and Banner working for him. The last thing Mario wanted was for Banner to turn into that merged "Professor Hulk." The scientific ability would remain, sure, but losing that raw fighting instinct would drop the combat effectiveness from S-tier straight to C-tier.
Mario's serious, confident demeanor gave Banner courage. He closed his eyes and began communicating with the presence inside him.
Just a few seconds later, his body suddenly swelled, his thin frame transforming once again into a massive, muscle-bound giant. Seeing this, Natasha quickly stepped out of the room, whatever happened next was clearly beyond her involvement.
However, once outside, she realized something strange. There were no sounds of fierce combat from within as she'd expected. It was quiet.
She peeked back inside, only to see Hulk sitting on the floor with vacant eyes and mouth slightly open, looking like an empty shell.
Mario stepped forward and waved his hand in front of Hulk's face. No response.
"Uh..."
Before he could figure out what to do, a glimmer of awareness returned to Hulk's eyes, though it carried a distinctly different quality of intelligence.
"Something seems wrong with the body. Hulk isn't responding at all."
The voice was still Hulk's deep growl, but the words were clear, articulate, and grammatically correct. It didn't take a genius to realize that Banner was now the one controlling Hulk's body.
Mario coughed awkwardly. "Well... maybe... perhaps... He just got tired after that big fight with the military. Let's give him some time to recover. Meanwhile, we should discuss you joining my company."
What else could I say? "Sorry, I accidentally whacked Hulk into temporary stupidity with a frying pan"?
He quickly changed the subject, picked up the recruitment papers from the floor, and handed them back to this bizarre Banner-Hulk hybrid.
This time, Banner carefully examined every clause in the contract. But the more he read, the darker his expression grew. By the time he finished, he looked up at Mario with disbelief.
"Are you certain this is an employment contract... and not a slave agreement?"
Mario's grin was completely shameless. "Think of it as an exclusive long-term partnership with excellent benefits."
"It says here I'm on call 24/7, can't refuse any assignment, and you own all intellectual property I create."
"Standard non-compete clause."
"Standard?! This says if I try to leave, you can hunt me down!"
"That's the loyalty incentive program."
Banner stared at the contract, then at Mario, then back at the contract. His eye twitched.
"I'm starting to think the military might have been the better option."