Hachiman Hikigaya had no idea what kind of madness had possessed his girlfriend today—she was actually talking about having a baby.
They were still just high school students.
Having kids? At their age? That was way too early!
But still…
If he was being honest, his girlfriend in that pregnant photo looked really good. Mature and graceful, like she had transformed from a schoolgirl into a beautiful young wife—an ideal partner in anyone's eyes.
While chatting with Yukinoshita over the phone, Hachiman couldn't help but glance again at the pregnancy photo she had sent him earlier.
His girlfriend in that form was seriously… cough, cough—get it together!
What was he even thinking!?
No weird thoughts allowed!
"Hachiman-kun, let's have a baby together, okay?"
From the other end of the call came Yukinoshita's teasing voice again.
"You… Let's talk about that in the future. It's not something that happens just like that."
"Oh? So by that, you mean you're agreeing, right?"
"…I didn't say I agreed."
"Hehe~ Your mouth says no, but your heart says otherwise~"
"No, it doesn't…"
Hachiman turned his mouth aside, still being the tsundere he was.
The truth was, he had been feeling incredibly guilty lately about all the ways he'd been betraying Yukinoshita. So now, whatever she said, he found it hard to say no.
It's just that the idea of having a child was so over the top, he couldn't help hesitating.
"Well, don't worry, Hachiman-kun~ Getting pregnant takes time. It's not like I'm saying I want to have a baby right this second. Before that, I still need to prepare—do proper pre-pregnancy care, so we can have a healthy little one~"
Yukinoshita said sweetly.
"Uh… pre-pregnancy care?"
"You dummy. Do you really think getting pregnant is that easy? It's not just me—even you need to prep for it."
"You mean I need to prepare too?!"
Hachiman was stunned.
"Well, the daddy's… ahem, seed matters too. If it's no good, the baby won't be healthy either~"
Yukinoshita coughed lightly, then explained very seriously.
"Ugh…"
Hachiman looked flustered.
"But I don't really know anything about this pre-pregnancy stuff…"
"I'll study it. Hehe~ You just follow my instructions when the time comes."
Yukinoshita's voice was warm and gentle.
"…All right. I'll do whatever you say."
Hearing that, Hachiman could only concede.
"Oh? Hachiman-kun, you're being so obedient today~ Not bad, not bad."
Yukinoshita chuckled. "By the way, didn't you once say you wanted me to wear some weird outfit? Isn't that right?"
"Eh?"
Hachiman, who was about to play tsundere again, immediately perked up when he heard that.
"What do you mean by that?"
"Hehe~ Since you've been so well-behaved today, I guess I'll be generous and put on a set for you. What kind of cosplay do you want to see? Is that the right word?"
"Y-Yeah, it's cosplay."
Hachiman nodded rapidly, then asked carefully, "You're seriously going to wear it?"
"Of course! What, you think I'd lie to you?"
Yukinoshita replied.
"Then… how about a catgirl maid outfit."
Hachiman said without hesitation.
"Eh? Catgirl maid?"
Yukinoshita blinked, then squinted at him.
"You answered so fast. Don't tell me you've been scheming to get me into a catgirl outfit from the start?"
"Hey, just answer me. Yes or no?"
Hachiman dodged the question.
"…Fine, I'll do it. Since you've been so obedient today, I'll give you what you want~"
"Obedient?"
"Ahem. I meant you've been listening to me~"
"You—"
"Hehe~ You probably already have a specific cosplay in mind, right? Send me the link. I'll order it right now."
Yukinoshita said with a sly smile.
"You're ordering it now?"
"See how good I am to you? So make sure to behave well from now on too~"
She teased.
"I… Fine, then get me this one."
Hachiman, face turning red, sent over a cosplay maid outfit he had bookmarked long ago. As a self-proclaimed hopeless otaku, of course he'd dreamed of his girlfriend cosplaying as a 2D waifu one day.
"Ooh, looks cute."
"But it's kinda expensive…"
"Doesn't matter."
Ah, the perks of having a rich girlfriend.
"Oh right," Hachiman added quickly, "Don't get the wrong version. You have to buy the one with the cat tail."
"Huh? The… cat tail? Oh, got it… Wait, hold on—why is the tail not attached to the outfit? Why's it a separate piece?"
Yukinoshita asked, confused. Her knowledge of cosplay was pretty limited.
"Ahem… The separate tail… has to be installed."
Hachiman replied awkwardly.
"Installed on the skirt? But there aren't any instructions…"
Yukinoshita was detail-oriented when shopping—she always checked product descriptions carefully.
"Once you get it… you'll figure it out."
"…Why do you sound kinda excited, Hachiman-kun?"
"Huh? Do I?"
"You do."
Yukinoshita didn't seem to mind, and continued with a smile,
"Well, if you like it that much, I'll buy it. Just don't disappoint me later, okay? I've got expectations~"
"Yes, Princess~"
Hachiman replied obediently.
Though they were still just high school students, their relationship was already no different from that of a married couple. Which is why they could banter and joke around so openly.
After a bit more playful flirting, the two hung up.
"Phew…"
Heart still racing, Hachiman took a few deep breaths. Even though he tried to calm himself, he couldn't stop the corners of his lips from lifting.
Hehe… Yukinoshita, once that cat tail arrives, you'll learn exactly how it's installed.
In a great mood, Hachiman began walking home.
Even the air today felt sweet.
But… the good mood didn't last long.
As soon as he opened the door and stepped inside—
"Whoa?!"
He jumped in surprise, spotting a cute creature lying flat in the entryway.
"…Why are you lying there?"
"I couldn't help it. Komachi gets so lonely when Onii-chan's not home…"
Komachi sat up from the floor with pitiful eyes.
"…"
Hachiman's mouth twitched. "I was only gone for half a day. What are you going to do when I get married and move out someday?"
"Exactly! Just thinking about Onii-chan getting married and moving in with someone else… Komachi can't even imagine how lonely I'll be. Ugh… sob sob…"
"…"
Wait a second. Why does this conversation feel like it's going in a really weird direction??