[Rick's Space Cruiser]
The ship rattled as it landed on a sketchy asteroid station. Rick powered it down and gestured for Morty to stay put. "Alright, Morty, sit tight. Grandpa's got business."
Morty leaned forward. "No way. I'm coming with you."
Rick turned to glare at him. "No, you're not."
Morty folded his arms. "Why not? What's so secret? Is it shady, Rick?"
Rick rolled his eyes. "Listen, Morty, everything I do is shady. That's my brand. But you? You're not ready for this brand."
Morty huffed. "I'm not leaving."
Rick threw his hands up. "Fine. But when you see something that scars your teeny-weeny moral compass for life, don't come crying to me."
He punched a button. The canopy hissed open. As they stepped onto the landing pad, a familiar insectoid figure scuttled up, tapping on the window with a claw. "Rick Sanchez?" the bug buzzed. "You got the stuff?"
Rick gave him a greasy grin. "Krombopulos Michael! My man. Good to see you not in the middle of murdering someone, yet."
Michael clicked in delight, handing over a pouch. "3000 flerbos, as agreed."
Rick weighed it, nodded, then motioned to Morty. "Morty, say hi to Michael. He's an…entrepreneur."
Morty blinked. "Uh...hi?"
Michael beamed, mandibles twitching. "Hello, young human! I'm Krombopulos Michael. I buy weapons to kill people. I just love killing."
Morty recoiled. "Oh my god."
Rick reached into the hold and handed over a sleek, humming pistol. "Hive-fused antimatter gun. Top-of-the-line. Melts tanks. Turns organic matter into slushies."
Michael clapped his claws. "Wonderful! Thank you, Rick. Always a pleasure."
He scuttled off humming a murder tune. Morty's jaw dropped. "Rick! Did you just sell a supergun to an assassin?!"
Rick wiped the sweat from his brow. "Yup."
"Why?!"
Rick shrugged. "Paid for my afternoon at Blips and Chitz."
Morty's eyes bulged. "YOU FUNDED AN ASSASSINATION FOR ARCADE TOKENS?!"
Rick barked a laugh. "They're not tokens, Morty. They're credits. It's called economics."
[Richard's Ship]
Richard sat hunched over the flickering dashboard, tapping data lines. Jack, the ship's AI, floated beside him in hologram form. "Sir," Jack intoned, "it appears our earlier assumption was incorrect."
Richard pinched the bridge of his nose. "You don't say."
"This is not a moon. It's an undocumented landmass orbiting an exoplanet."
Richard sighed. "Just great." He squinted at the screen. "Where's Summer?"
Jack hesitated. "I've lost her bio-signature in the atmosphere."
Richard exhaled heavily, muttering, "Perfect. That's just perfect."
He stood and strapped on a respirator. Before stepping out, he pointed at the AI. "Protect the ship at all costs."
Jack replied dryly, "Understood. I'll put on my stern voice."
The hatch swung open, green-tinged dust billowing in. Richard stepped into it. He scanned the air with his visor. Data scrolled across the HUD: Composition: Frozen hydrogen reacted with sulfur. Non-toxic. Causes lifelong gastrointestinal distress. Consume at your own risk.
Richard snorted. "Fantastic. Shit yourself for eternity."
He scooped a sample and tucked it into a vial before peering around. The wind howled. Even his footprints vanished seconds after they formed. He muttered, "If I ever have kids, I'm getting milk once they turn thirteen."
[Back with Morty and Rick]
Morty fumed in the passenger seat as they tracked Michael's ship. "Rick, we have to stop him."
Rick snorted. "No, Morty. We really don't."
Morty lunged for the controls. "We can't let him kill people!"
Rick slapped his hand away. "Morty, stop. He's a professional. He loves this shit."
Morty didn't listen. He yanked the yoke. The ship lurched, scraping Michael's craft. Sparks flew. An explosion blossomed behind them. Rick screamed. "WHAT DID YOU DO?!"
Morty stammered. "I-I didn't mean, oh god,"
Rick's eyes were wild. "You killed Krombopulos Michael!"
Morty covered his mouth. "Oh god. Oh no."
Alarms beeped. Michael's ship twisted in flames. They landed hard directly into a building, destroying the top of it as smoke was swirling around them. A figure emerged from the wreckage. Glowing. Ethereal. Singing in strange tones. "Who...who are you?" Morty whispered.
The being smiled serenely. "You may call me...Fart."
Rick spat. "I'm out."
[Back on the Dust Planet]
Richard trudged through green dunes. He toggled his visor. "Jack, got anything?"
"Wind speeds exceeding 90 km/h. Visibility: negative."
Richard sighed. "Wonderful."
He spotted a faint shape in the dust, Summer, huddled on the ground.
He ran over and dropped to a knee. "Summer."
She didn't look up. She sobbed. "I'm sorry."
[Back with Rick and Morty]
They ran through corridors, alarms wailing. Government forces closed in.
Morty cradled Fart. "We're getting you out of here!"
Rick fired at soldiers. "This is your fault, Morty!"
Morty screamed. "We can't let them kill him!"
They burst onto the pad, the portal behind them. As Fart floated toward the shimmering blue swirl, he sang: "Come with me and I'll show you…a universe free of carbon-based life."
Morty blinked. "What?"
Fart smiled serenely. "We will cleanse it. Remove your species from existence. It will be...beautiful."
Morty's face twisted. He lifted the antimatter gun. His hand shook. Fart extended a ghostly tendril. "Join us."
Morty screamed and fired. The beam pierced Fart, vaporizing him. The being's song cut off mid-note. Silence fell.
Rick holstered his blaster. "Well. That was a waste, you created an entire 9/11 into a planet just to rescue something you are going to kill anyway."
Morty fell to his knees, sobbing. Rick watched, jaw tight. He didn't speak. AN: If this was fast, sorry about it. I purposefully sped it up since I didn't want to spend much time on this episode.
[Jerryboree]
Jerry sipped punch, chatting with a circle of identical Jerrys. One leaned in. "So...you feel disrespected by your father-in-law, too?"
Jerry nodded solemnly. "Every day. Even worse, I got a mini version of him running my entire household."
[Later at the Pickup Dock]
Two Ricks led two Mortys.
"Hey," one Rick called. "You guys have your Jerry?"
Rick blinked. "Oh, shit. Uh...Morty?"
Morty patted his pockets. "I lost his number."
He held up a Blips and Chitz ticket.
The other Rick shrugged. "Good enough."
They each grabbed a Jerry at random. Jerry blinked. "Wait, are you mine?"
Rick slapped the console. "Close enough. Let's go."
As they flew away, Jerry looked between Rick and Morty. "So, good trip?"
Morty just stared out the window, silent tears on his cheeks. Rick didn't even look at him. He just opened a fresh flask.