Season: Autumn
Weather: Drizzly
Day of the week: Wednesday
Date: 13th March, 2024
Last night, I had curled up with Miss Fluffle Longears on a waiting lounge near the front door of the dark shadow lord's base. Chef had arrived really late into the night to pick me and Miss Fluffle Longears ups.
He seemed confused when he arrived, but after the dark shadow lord talked to him, he seemed furious. I could hear his voice through the wall, although I couldn't quite catch what was being said. When I cringed back from him after he came out, he paused and looked really worried. After taking some time to calm himself down, he coaxed me with a cup of hot chocolate and then picked me up when I had drunk it with the contraceptive pill he had gotten from somewhere for me and was feeling sleepy.
I like the way Chef treats me like a little child that just wants some attention and comfort. Not too much. Just something to acknowledge that I'm a real person with needs and not a working robot drone. Unlike how other people might do it, it's not condescending at all. As long as he doesn't talk too much, I feel safe and happy when I'm in his arms. Being cared for by him is like he's making up for my lost childhood. It makes me cry sometimes, but only in places he can't see. He might lose his temper with other people if he sees me cry and then who knows what kind of bloody carnival might take place?
I wonder if the shameless boss and Stony Boss hate me now. I wouldn't be surprised if they did. It's a pity. It was nice while it had lasted. I really need to get back to work, but when I mentioned that to Chef before he left for work today, he almost blew up at me.
He said something along the lines of never being able to have a break or holiday, and it was high time I had one. What did that mean? Of course I've had breaks and holidays before. They weren't very long, but they were there. Or was it that he hasn't had a break or holiday and needs one. Would that help his bad temper?
Ok. So maybe some of my breaks were only a few hours long and maybe most of them were only one day at the most - usually my Sunday day off, but still... I can't afford to go away for a holiday or take a break. Or, well, I couldn't before. I could now, but I don't feel like it.
I just want to laze around on the little camping bed that Chef put up in a curtained off corner of his house and enjoy doing nothing for a bit. Just a bit. Maybe have a nap. Watch telly. Read a book. Play a computer game. Paint a picture. Cook with Chef. Go to work. That kind of thing.
Anyway, I've been told that I have so much leave and time-in-lieu that even if I take the half of this year off, I would still have some left over. I have to admit. Most of it is time-in-lieu. That is an awful lot of leave. How on earth did I accrue that much leave?
When I think back on how much I worked, I feel amazed that I didn't break or cark it sooner. Then again, when I think back on how long it has been since I last worked a proper work day, my head drops in shame. It's an awfully long time to be on sick leave.
Now that I am with Chef, I'll stay until the weekend and in the meantime, look for a new apartment or place to move to. I've almost finished all my online courses. Once I settle down in front of my laptop, I should be able to finish most of it by the end of this week. In my free time, I'll look up new places. Check them out this weekend and next week.
By next weekend, I'll move into my new place and get myself organised. But what I need to buy. Plan for Wednesday catering and collect orders. Then start getting back to proper office work again.
What do you think? Good plan? I think it's a good plan.
And then when things have settled down more and I feel better, I'll pick up a weekend job and take my time finding an early morning or evening job again.
Wait.
I need to change my mindset.
There's no need to work so much anymore. No need for the early morning jobs. Maybe I'll just make lunches for Stony Boss and the shameless boss. And make treats for Chef when he's too tired to cook for his meals.
From the meals he's made me so far, he's been using more legumes and proteins, less carbs. Maybe he has diabetes or insulin resistance or something. Or maybe he thinks this is now healthier.
This should be enough of a holiday and break from work, right? Right?
We'll see what Chef says when he comes home tonight if he's not too tired. He used to be too tired to talk when he came home from work in the late evenings. Anyway, I have a few days to try to find time to talk it over with him. Maybe on his next day off, we can sit and have a good proper talk. I don't know if his work schedule is still the same as it used to be.
I wonder if he's upset that I stopped contacting him after I moved out last time and stopped working in the private club where he works. Is he angry with me? He did tell me not to contact him again when I insisted on moving out to live on my own last time. I hadn't wanted to keep staying at his place and getting underfoot or potentially get him in trouble with that guy if and when he ever came looking for me again.
Anyway, it's about high time Chef and I had a good talk. I miss our talks.
He said he was going to do something about a certain person. I wonder if he found him and what he did. Not that I really want to know, but it would be nice to know if the problems back home have been solved once and for all.