"Headmaster, I just wanted to play a joke on everyone, help them relax, and lift their spirits a bit."
During the dinner feast, Lockhart sat at the head table, loudly defending himself.
Although his words sounded apologetic, he was secretly pleased with himself.
Since the incident at the Dueling Club, most students knew he was a fraud and no longer believed in him.
For example, the number of Valentine's Day cards he had received this year was a telling sign, most of the female students hadn't sent him anything!
It wasn't supposed to be like this!
So, Lockhart came up with this stunt to grab everyone's attention.
And it had worked, spectacularly. Even at dinnertime, people were still talking about it.
"That was a joke? Many students were terrified!" Professor McGonagall said angrily.
The Dark Mark was a terrifying symbol during those dark times!
McGonagall even remembered a friend of hers. One time, after finishing her shopping, she returned home only to see the Dark Mark floating in the distance. Out of curiosity, she approached to get a closer look... only to discover it was hovering over her own house!
McGonagall could still vividly recall her friend's horrified expression.
"That's completely different from the Dark Mark, it was just an image of my face," Lockhart insisted stubbornly.
Dumbledore remained silent, his eyes narrowed as he scrutinized Lockhart.
"Relax, I actually thought it was quite amusing," Snape said unexpectedly, a rare smile spreading across his face, "Here, have some whiskey!"
Snape poured Lockhart a glass of amber-colored liquid.
"Ah, how did you know I like Bushmills whiskey?"
Lockhart sniffed the glass enthusiastically and exclaimed, "Snape, could it be that you're a fan of my books too?"
He clasped Snape's hand.
Snape suppressed a wave of disgust and said, "Of course I am. Now, drink up!"
"Alright, but let's add some red wine, it'll taste even better!"
Lockhart poured some red wine into his whiskey, mixed it, and downed it all in one gulp.
"Not bad at all! Oh, and you added a dash of cheering potion too," Lockhart commented, sounding impressed.
"Headmaster, you can't just let Lockhart get away with this!" McGonagall's voice was sharp with anger.
"It's alright," Dumbledore said softly.
He closed his eyes, deep in thought.
"Get away with what?" Lockhart asked in confusion as he turned to look at McGonagall, his expression strange.
"You must apologize to the entire student body, you've scared them," McGonagall said sternly.
"Yes, you're right. I must apologize," Lockhart suddenly looked heartbroken.
"You're right, Professor McGonagall. I must have terrified my dear sweetheart."
"Huh?" McGonagall blinked, "Sweetheart?"
"Yes, the person I love most," Lockhart replied with a dazzling smile.
"What does the person you love have to do with what we're talking about?" McGonagall asked impatiently.
"Of course it's related. The person I love is right here at Hogwarts," Lockhart said as he gazed toward the Gryffindor table.
"Professor Lockhart, are you romantically involved with a student?" McGonagall's hand trembled as she overturned her goblet.
"How dare you?!"
"It's not like that," Lockhart sighed, "You... you just don't understand."
"No! It's Valentine's Day, and I'm going to confess my feelings!" Lockhart suddenly stood up.
"What are you planning to do?" McGonagall also rose to her feet.
Lockhart's gaze remained fixed on the Gryffindor table, where all her students sat.
She could tolerate Lockhart's incompetence, but she absolutely wouldn't allow this fraud to pursue her female students!
"McGonagall, don't try to stop me!" Lockhart shouted angrily.
"I can't take it anymore, I need to confess! I can't stop thinking about him." Lockhart's voice grew hoarse.
"Him...?"
McGonagall was stunned. She instinctively glanced at Lockhart's wine glass.
The other professors had also realized that something was wrong with Lockhart's drink.
Everyone turned to Snape, but the Potions Master merely feigned innocence.
With a smirk, Snape said, "Go on, Lockhart. The person you're looking for is right over there at the Gryffindor table."
"You see… the short one next to Ron Weasley, that's him!"
"Oh, Severus, you're such a kind person." Lockhart reached into his pocket, pulled out a quill, and quickly signed his name with a flourish.
"Here's my autograph."
Snape accepted it with a barely disguised look of revulsion.
"How do I look?" Lockhart adjusted his hair.
"Absolutely… dashing!"
"Fantastic." Lockhart beamed and eagerly made his way toward the Gryffindor table.
His golden hair shimmered under the candlelight, and his trademark smile was in full force.
Harry's heart began to race, he had a gut feeling that Lockhart was heading straight for him.
That kind of instinct never failed!
Oh no!
It couldn't be... was Lockhart coming over to rope him into writing fan mail replies again?
"Help me, Ron! Don't let Lockhart come over here!" Harry urged, panic rising in his voice, "I don't want to spend another evening writing replies to his fans!"
Harry stood up, ready to make a break for it.
Ron, startled, stepped in front of Lockhart to block his path.
"Professor, I have some questions about your book, could we discuss them privately in your office?" Ron asked, his face burning with embarrassment.
But Lockhart kicked Ron aside without hesitation, leaving no room for negotiation.
Harry barely made it two steps before he felt a pair of strong hands grab his robes.
"Hey, you! Harry Potter!" a particularly grim-looking dwarf shouted, "This is your love letter, you must listen to the whole thing!"
When it rains, it pours.
"Not here," Harry muttered, glancing around in horror, "Take it to my dormitory!"
"Stand still!" the dwarf grunted. Its strength was shocking as it dragged Harry back into place.
"This is your Valentine's serenade:
"His eyes as green as freshly pickled toads,
His hair as dark as a blackboard's gloss.
I wish that he were mine to hold—
This hero who beat the Dark Lord's odds."
Laughter erupted from the crowd as Harry's face turned beet red.
And to make matters worse, Lockhart had arrived.
Harry could still remember the last time Lockhart had forced him to "assist" all night. His right hand had been sore for a week, and he'd felt delirious for days afterward.
Harry watched helplessly as Lockhart approached, his eyes wide with dread, before finally closing them in despair.
Lockhart stormed up, grabbed Harry by his messy hair, and shouted furiously, "Stay away from him, Potter! Are you trying to steal my man?"
Harry: "???"
Lockhart threw a punch, knocking Harry to the ground, and then scooped up the dwarf, gently lifting its chin with a dramatic smirk.
The dwarf: "???"
They locked eyes for nearly a full minute before Lockhart said tenderly, "Come, let's go to my office. We can have a nice chat about how I 'tamed' that mountain troll… you can even act out a scene with me!"
"But… but Potter's love letter…" the dwarf stammered, still trying to do its job.
"To hell with Potter!" Lockhart pulled out his wand and pointed it at Harry, "Stupefy!"
Harry collapsed, unconscious, while Lockhart wrapped an arm around the dwarf and led it toward his office.
All that was left behind was an unconscious Harry and a bewildered Ron, still sprawled on the floor.
"Headmaster… what… what do we do?" McGonagall asked in a panic.
Snape chuckled. "Relax, Professor McGonagall. Surely we can't stand in the way of Gilderoy's pursuit of true love, can we?"
Dumbledore opened his eyes and gave Snape a sharp, warning glance.
Snape muttered, "We all know he's a fraud.I Think of all those wizards who've fallen victim to his Obliviation spells.
"And the Dark Mark stunt… he's lucky we're not sending him straight to Azkaban!"
"Go give Lockhart the antidote," Dumbledore said calmly.
"...Fiiinnne! I will," Snape grumbled.
Under his breath, he added, "...Eventually."
As the dinner feast came to an end, the students crowded into the hallways, making their way toward their common rooms.
Suddenly, everyone stopped in their tracks.
From Lockhart's office came an ear-piercing scream of utter agony!
"AAAAAAHHHH!"
It had happened!
Whispers rippled through the crowd. Another attack!
"Oh, poor Professor Lockhart…"
The students exchanged knowing looks.
The culprit?
It had to be the "Weasley-Potter duo," of course… everyone had seen Lockhart punch them during dinner!
The motive was rock solid.