Desolate suburban highway.
"No!!"
In the darkness, a furious roar pierced the night, revealing a flash of gleaming white teeth.
"Why, why is it like this?!"
"My Mjolnir, my hammer!!"
"Who stole my hammer?!"
In a massive crater, Thor, steaming with white smoke, vented his rage.
Climbing out, he gasped, kneeling on the ground. His anger subsided slightly over time.
He wiped his face, but the blackened marks—Odin's curse—remained.
A punishment from the Allfather for his misdeeds.
Odin wanted Thor to know this darkness was a lifelong stain of shame.
Black-Face Thor didn't care. As he stood to hunt for his hammer, lights flickered at the highway's bend, followed by a strange roar.
Boom~~
Vroom vroom…
Motorcycles thundered in, ape-like screeches filling the air, startling crows into chaotic flight.
"Oh ho!!"
"Too cool!"
"Pass him!!"
"Wait, someone's there."
"Let's give this guy a shock… hold on, his face is black! He could be one of us!!"
The bikes swerved around Thor, circling him before screeching to a stop with burning tires.
"Hey, man, nice outfit, though it's a bit charred. Wanna join us?" the braided leader asked, eyeing Thor's battered armor with envy.
Anyone else, he'd rob.
But seeing their shared "cotton-picking" heritage, he opted for deceit.
Thor glared at the scruffy crew, waving away their stench. "Foolish Earth mortals, you've got three seconds to leave before I pound you to dust."
"Wow!"
The bikers cheered.
"Cool guy!"
"He's the one we're looking for."
"So cocky."
"But why's his hair gold and not curly?"
"He's gotta be a hybrid."
"Should we shun him?"
They laughed brazenly. Thor clenched his fists.
"Jerks, mocking me?"
He swung, but the braided leader dodged easily.
"Dude, your muscles are weak."
The leader sneered, landing a punch on Thor's nose.
"Oof!!"
Thor stumbled back, clutching his nose, eyes wide in disbelief.
"You dare?!"
He checked his body, his world crumbling.
A lowly mortal hit him?!
"You're… unforgivable! I'll crush you!!"
Furious, Thor charged, only to be swarmed and beaten.
"Oh no…"
"Stop, stop! I won't crush you!"
"Damn it, Father, you're too harsh, taking my power…"
Thor scurried off, the gang in pursuit.
An hour later, they collapsed, exhausted. Thor crawled from the bushes.
Seeing their sorry state, he realized something.
Odin stripped his power, but his Asgardian body remained. Mortals couldn't harm him.
Odin's magic sealed his strength, limiting his damage output.
He couldn't beat mortals, but they couldn't break his defense.
Odin's spell let him feel their blows, but only pain.
Thor fumed.
"Damn it, if I find who did this, I'll pound them!"
Pointing at the sky, he cursed. The bikers knelt, shouting excitedly.
"Boss, you're a superhuman or mutant! Perfect! Lead us to zero-dollar shopping. We need you, brother—you'll be the shiniest Black-Hearted Ghost among us!!"
Thor: "..."
"What're you talking about?" he blinked.
He'd heard of Earth from his mother.
He knew a bit, but not much.
These guys were likely the laziest, most violent bunch.
Zero-dollar shopping? Definitely not good.
But using them to blend into Earth's society might uncover clues about that guy.
Father sent me to Earth—not just punishment!
If I can't complete this mission but help these guys become better, Father will see my true kindness and justice.
He'll forgive me, lift the seal, and let me return to Asgard.
I'll still be Asgard's future king.
Resolved, Thor approached the braided leader, took his headscarf, and tied his golden hair.
"Fine, I accept your allegiance!"
"Awesome!"
The crowd cheered.
Thor was about to ask about zero-dollar shopping when thunder cracked the sky.
"That's…"
Thor froze. "My hammer!!"
He slapped the leader. "Take me there, now!" He pointed toward the thunder.
…
Meanwhile.
Abandoned coastal factory.
A beam of light pierced the windows and cracked walls, illuminating a blood-soaked space.
Dust floated in the air, accompanied by rhythmic clacks.
Click~ clack~ clack~
Red high-heeled boots stepped into the light, shattering the eerie silence. A fiery figure swayed faintly.
The elegant shadow danced, heels striking the floor, humming a song her favorite person loved.
"How do I describe you perfectly~"
Splurch!
Mid-verse, Lady Deadpool drew her Baby Knife. Blood sprayed from the darkness as a bound criminal fell, silent.
Thud~
The man collapsed, twitching. She resumed her dance and song.
The lyrics were tricky, but she nailed the rhythm and beat.
Not too off-key.
She sank into her world.
"What compares to you to make you special~"
Splurch!!
Blood splattered her red suit. Unfazed, she slashed elegantly into the dark.
"My feelings for you are intense~"
Splurt!!
"Yet I barely understand~"
Splurch!!
"Purely instinct~"
Splurch~ splurch~
Two swift slashes, and she spun happily.
Behind her, bodies littered the blood-soaked floor, a hellish scene.
She didn't care.
No vow against killing for her.
She loved slaughtering bad guys.
Their screams and pleas purified her soul.
Yes, she reveled in this twisted thrill.
That's why S.H.I.E.L.D. rejected her.
Then put a warrant on her.
They uncovered her secret.
Deadpool was never a true superhero.
She was her own hero.
Splurt~
"Ahh!!"
A strange sound came from below. She paused, looked down, and gasped, covering her mouth.
"Oh Odin, sorry, sis didn't mean it."
At her feet, a battered man lay, glaring as her heel pierced a sensitive spot, his face full of humiliation and hatred.
"I'll kill you—"
Boom!
He groaned weakly, his body glowing red.
Before the heat built, she stabbed his heart.
Splurch!!
"Ah!"
Blood pooled, his face twisted in agony.
But Extremis gave him stubborn vitality.
Even with a pierced heart, he'd live.
Given time, he'd recover fully.
Sadly, this terrifying woman gave no chances.
Meeting her was his tragic fate's start.
Splurt~
As she pulled out her heel, sludge mixed with something sprayed out.
She flipped back, dodging the sneak attack.
"Wow, far shot!"
Thumbs-up to him. "Still full of vigor. Hand vigorous you to vigorous Spider-Man—he'll make me vigorous too. I can't wait."
Buzz~
As she spoke, the factory's light flickered. An old friend appeared.
"You vile woman, spying on little Spider's life."
Light reflected off a shield. An aged figure stood tall, his hammer crackling with thunder.
Zzzzt~
Blue arcs lit Steve's grim face.
"Ready this time?" he grinned sinisterly.
Seeing old Steve, Lady Deadpool's white eyes widened, shocked.
"Oh Asgard, you look like a supervillain!" she gasped.
Steve: "..."
He wiped his face, forcing a kind smile.
"Now I don't."
She nodded. "Yeah, now you don't look like you're here to take me out."
"Oh, I am."
Steve advanced. "But I won't. Hand over that thing, and I'll give you a chance to turn yourself in to S.H.I.E.L.D."
She shrugged. "Sorry, it's mine. No one's taking it."
"Then you're in for it…"
Mid-sentence, he spotted Killian in the blood.
"You?"
He frowned.
Seeing Killian's sorry state, Steve underestimated her.
No one could find Killian, yet she got him first.
Even Extremis, tricky for him, was nothing to her.
But he needed that thing.
Losing his reputation was one thing—being mocked by Spider forever was worse.
Without hesitation, he hurled Mjolnir.
Boom!!
Thunder erupted, arcs bathing her red suit in purple.
"Oh Odin, shiny hammer!"
Mjolnir surged. She didn't dare block, dodging while throwing a Baby Knife.
Clang~~
The knife sparked against the shield. Steve closed in; she slashed with her other knife.
Zzzzt~
Bang!!!
Shield met blade, but Mjolnir rebounded. She couldn't dodge, crashing into the wall with brutal force.
"Oh no, sis is done…"
Boom~~
The wall shattered. Steve chased through the hole.
Buzz~
Blinding light hit him, disorienting his sensitive eyes.
"Crap!"
Vision impaired, he raised his shield, summoning Mjolnir.
But Black-Face Thor was also calling it.
Lady Deadpool saw a bizarre sight.
Mjolnir hovered, wrapped in thunder, darting erratically, no longer fully under Steve's control.
"What?"
Waiting in vain, Steve sensed trouble.
As his vision faltered, she seized the moment.
With Mjolnir erratic, she slid forward, kicking up dust and debris, reaching Steve.
Splurch splurch splurch~~
"No!!"
Blades flashed. Steve felt stabs of pain.
A cold knife reached his throat. He dropped his shield.
His uniform was bloodied, wounds healing fast.
But could his head regrow?
He didn't fear death—just didn't want it.
Watching Mjolnir vanish, he closed his eyes.
"Little Spider will save me."
"Spider-Man?"
She chuckled. "I want him to save you too!"
She grabbed Steve's phone, texting.
[Spider-Man, I've got your old man. Want him alive? Bring soap.]
…
Eisen Apartment.
Fresh from a shower, ready to practice devouring magic, Charlie glanced at his phone and tossed it.
"Another trick? Invincible Spider-Man won't fall for it again."
He smirked, ignoring it.
Even if Steve was kidnapped, he needed to know who.
Using the old man's phone? Could be anyone.
Stupid Earth kidnappers.
Even the Ten Rings were more professional.
Shaking his head, Charlie dismissed the thought, his body soaring into the night with magical energy.
En route to his training spot, a thunderbolt zipped past.
He raised an eyebrow, chasing Mjolnir.
Soon, he reached a Queens hangout for delinquents.
"Oh ho!!"
"Boss is awesome!"
"Cheers!"
A bonfire blazed in a barrel. Black-Face Thor chugged a beer, smashing the bottle.
"Another!!"
He burped. Mjolnir, embedded in the ground, stayed put.
He'd summoned it but couldn't lift it.
Drinking dulled the pain.
He drank more, growing happier.
Asgard never had such thrilling drinks.
His "minions" wouldn't let their new boss down.
Finally finding a superhuman or mutant for zero-dollar shopping, they wouldn't miss this.
"Boss, here."
"Yup."
Thor downed another, smashing the bottle.
He did this in Asgard often.
"More!"
"Here—"
Outside, Charlie frowned at the Thor-like "Black-Hearted Ghost."
If Thor's this wild, is Asgard…
Damn! Black mythology confirmed.
Beep~
His phone rang—Jarvis's custom, ultra-personalized ringtone.
"Na na na, sunshine rainbow~~"
"What?"
The cheery tune drew attention, but the lyrics sparked rage.
"Wang de fa!!"
"Damn guy, take him out!!"
"Get him!!"
The mob grabbed weapons, charging Charlie.
He stepped back.
"Whoa, why so triggered? Chill—"
"Die!!!"
"Fine, I won't argue."
Charlie vanished into the dark.
Nearby rooftop.
He answered the call. "Yo, it's me, Eisen Apartment's toughest guy… Wanda Wilson?"
Hearing her voice, he sat on the rooftop's edge.
Wind howled, but he heard Lady Deadpool clearly.
"Your old man's with me."
"You kidnapped him?"
"You didn't know?"
"Should I?"
"I texted you."
"You didn't say it was you."
"Oops, my bad. Come save him, or you'll regret it."
"Too late. Going now would cause a misunderstanding."
"No misunderstanding. I told you to bring soap."
"New humor trend?"
"Actually, the soap's for me."
"Wow, I'm relieved. You sure you wanna provoke me?"
"Totally. I'm ready. Don't follow my orders, and your old man's a vegetable. You'll lose your chance to save him."
"Fine, you win."
Charlie sighed. "Where are you?"
"Right below you."
"Apartment?"
"No, your below."
On the balcony below, Lady Deadpool waved.
"Hey! Here!"
Charlie: "..."
He dropped down. "How'd you dodge my Spider-Sense?"
She propped a leg on the wall, stroking it.
"You know I mean no harm."
He eyed the soap, pupils shrinking.
"That's not harm?"
"If you say so, maybe it is."
She clapped. A figure descended from the ceiling.
"Little Spider, forget me, run! She's nuts!!"
Steve, dangling, shouted, eyes hopeful.
Charlie: "..."
"So I should leave?"
"No, save me."
"Then why tell me to run?"
"I thought you'd save me."
"I'm here to save you."
Charlie turned to her. "What'll it take to let him go?"
Seeing his cooperation, she tossed the soap aside.
"Pick it up," she said.
Charlie: "!!!"
A chill ran down his spine.
"Isn't that for you?"
"You pick it up, then I use it."
"Why'd you throw it?"
"I want to see you pick it up."
"You… you jerk!"
Face dark, he walked to the corner.
"By the way, use any powers, and your old man sleeps forever," she warned, toying with a remote.
Charlie glanced at Steve.
Steve met his gaze.
"Sorry, I dragged you into this," Steve said.
"It's—"
A force hit Charlie's feet.
Bang!
Mindful of her warning, he didn't use powers, letting himself fall, dragged by her toward a pink-lit room.
"Little Spider!!!"
Steve screamed, tears falling.
Zzzzt~
Charlie's fingers scraped the floor, sparking, but couldn't resist her pull.
"Old man, save me!!!"
"Little Spider!!"
"Old man~~"
"No!!!"
Bang!
As the door closed, Charlie's lifeless face vanished from Steve's sight.
"No!!"
Steve wailed. "The pain, too much!!!"
Then, crashing sounds came from the pink room. Humiliated, Charlie finally fought back.
"Die, you freak!!"
Bang!!
The door shattered. Lady Deadpool flew out, her mask torn by a brutal punch.
Golden hair fluttered in the wind, revealing a seductive, delicate face.
"Deadpool looks like that?!"
Steve's eyes widened, horrified.