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Five minutes later...
They were all sitting mostly in a circle on the dusty, cold floor of the cave. It smelled a bit damp and earthy inside.
The man Percy now knew was Sirius Black sat hunched over, surrounded by wrappers and food containers the kids must have brought him.
He was still stuffing food into his mouth like he had not eaten in years, barely seeming to chew, just gobbling it down like it was the most important thing in the world.
Percy sat fairly close to him on a smooth rock, watching with mild interest. Fleur, however, had chosen a spot much further away, near the cave entrance where the air was fresher.
She kept wrinkling her nose slightly; Sirius really did smell strongly like a wet dog, and his table manners were, well, not great.
"So," Percy started, breaking the munching sounds, "let me get this straight. When you told me back in the summer you were sending secret letters to Susan..." He pointed a thumb towards the skinny man still eating chicken. "...you were really sending zem to this guy instead?"
Harry nodded, looking a little guilty. "Yes. I lied when you saw the letters that time. Sorry about that, Percy."
Percy just shrugged his shoulders, not looking bothered at all. "Eh, I told you before, everyone is allowed to 'ave their own secrets. It is no big deal. Plus," he added with a small smirk, "it is not like I ever really believed you were writing love letters to Sussy 'ere." He winked at Susan.
"Why else do you think I kept teasing you about it all the time?"
Susan Bones smiled, her cheeks flushing a little pink. "Well, I'm actually glad you did tease him," she said, her voice soft. She looked over at Sirius, her eyes wide with a mix of wonder and relief. "I still can't quite believe he's actually here... and that he's innocent. Really innocent."
Percy nodded slowly. "Yeah, finding out someone wrongly accused is actually innocent... that is a new one, even for me."
"So, where exactly from the United States did you say you were from again?" Sirius asked, pausing his eating for a moment. He swallowed hard and wiped his mouth on his ragged sleeve, still eyeing Percy with a hint of suspicion that had not quite faded.
"Only ze greatest city on the entire planet Earth," Percy replied easily, puffing his chest out with a proud smirk.
Ron Weasley blinked, looking confused. "You mean... Los Angeles?"
Percy stared at Ron like he had grown a second head. "What? No! New York City! Why in Merlin's name would you think Los Angeles is the greatest city in the world?!"
Ron just shrugged helplessly. "Don't know, really. Just heard Dean Thomas talk about it once, said it was sunny."
Percy sighed dramatically, shaking his head. "Freaking wizards, man. You guys know nothing about the good stuff."
Sirius made a low humming sound in his throat, finishing off a piece of bread. "So, Percy, was it?" Percy nodded. "Right. Percy. What exactly are you planning to do now that you know all this?"
Percy blinked, looking genuinely confused. "What do you mean? Do about what?"
"Well," Sirius said, gesturing around the cave with a chicken bone, "you know I am 'ere now. An escaped prisoner, supposedly dangerous. We are kind of at your mercy, you and your girlfriend. So, what are you going to do about it?"
"Ah..." Percy paused, thinking for maybe half a second. "Nothing? I guess?" He shrugged again, turning to Harry. "I mean, unless you want me to do something specific? Like, maybe get him bathed? He really could use one."
Sirius snorted, a rough sound. "Very funny, kid."
Harry actually cracked a small smile. "That actually wouldn't be the worst idea, Sirius... but no. I would really rather he just went back into hiding somewhere safe."
Sirius rolled his eyes dramatically. "Harry, I told you already, I will be fine! Susan told you herself just now, didn't she? Her Aunt Amelia has absolutely no idea where I am!"
"You knew about t'iz already?" Fleur asked, looking over at Susan with raised eyebrows.
The red-haired girl nodded meekly, looking a bit shy under Fleur's gaze. Susan always seemed a little intimidated by the older, very beautiful veela. "Yes," Susan admitted quietly.
"Harry told me everything after the second task was over... it was... well, it was a little hard to believe at first. But then he and Hermione explained what really happened last year, and they showed me proof. They convinced me he was innocent." She took a deep breath.
"My Aunt Amelia is the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, you see. The boss. So Harry thought maybe, just maybe, I could find a way to help clear Sirius's name from the inside."
"The girl's heart was definitely in the right place, trying to help an old dog like me," Sirius said, sending a genuinely warm, grateful smile towards Susan. She smiled back shyly.
"And I truly thank you for wanting to help, Susan, I really do. But," his smile faded slightly, "unfortunately, I do not think there is much anyone can do to help me right now."
Percy sighed. "Yeah, I guess it is tough. Especially when you 'ave got a 'kiss on sight' order out for you... wait, hang on, that sounded really wrong."
Sirius actually chuckled, a real laugh this time, though it sounded rusty. "You are quite the joker, aren't you, kid? Tell me," he leaned forward slightly, a mischievous glint entering his eyes, "how good are you really at pulling pranks?"
"Snort!" Percy could not help letting out a loud chuckle that sounded almost like a horse's snort.
The air in the cave suddenly got tense again. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Susan all stiffened, looking slightly horrified. Fleur, however, just sent a smug little smile towards Percy. Sirius looked around at their faces, completely confused by the sudden change. "What? What did I say wrong now?"
"Percy is..." Hermione started, choosing her words very carefully, "...he pulls off quite a lot of pranks, Sirius. A lot."
"Hermione, please," Percy interrupted, holding up a hand and grinning broadly.
"Do not be modest for me! I am not just good at pranks, I am the undisputed King of Pranks at Hogwarts right now! Professor McGonagall herself 'ad to personally step in to stop my glorious rampage of chaos! Even now, first-year students tremble when zey hear my name whispered in the corridors! Ze Weasley twin terrors," he gestured towards Ron, "sleep at night dreaming sweet, possibly gay dreams about each other because of a little potion I slipped zem! I am the very reason our dear Susan 'ere," he winked at the blushing girl again, "now hates the sight of wedding rings! I am the reason Draco Malfoy cannot even look at a cream pie without wanting to throw up! I am the Prank Knight of Hogwarts!"
Harry sighed heavily, rubbing his forehead. "So, in short," he translated for the bewildered Sirius, "yes, Sirius. He likes pranks. A lot."
Percy gave a very smug, self-satisfied grin. "Yup. Professor McGonagall even once told me, right to my face, that I was the single worst, most troublesome prankster she 'ad ever 'ad the misfortune to deal with in her entire teaching career."
"Hold your tongue right there, boy!" Sirius suddenly jumped right onto his feet, pointing an indignant finger at Percy. His eyes were blazing with competitive fire. "That statement is completely impossible!"
"Oh yeah?" Percy challenged, also getting to his feet, mirroring Sirius's stance. "And why is that?"
"Because I," Sirius declared dramatically, puffing out his thin chest, "am one of the greatest pranksters Hogwarts has ever seen! Me, along with three other legendary troublemakers! We called ourselves..." he paused, letting the tension build, "...the Marauders!"
"...Never heard of you," Percy replied instantly, shrugging his shoulders dismissively.
Sirius just smiled, a predatory gleam in his eyes. "Ah, that is only because you clearly have not become enough of a menace yet to even be considered in our league, youngster."
"Oh really?" Percy shot back. "I once fed Draco Malfoy a pie filled with fresh Hippogriff shit."
Sirius scoffed. "Child's play! I once magically reversed the plumbing in the Slytherin washrooms so that it flooded their entire common room with the lovely contents of their own septic tanks."
"I used a powerful potion to make Fred and George Weasley fall madly in love with each other," Percy countered. "They almost kissed right in the Great Hall before it wore off."
"Been there, done that," Sirius waved a dismissive hand, "though it was with a different pair of twins back in my day. Oddly enough, they turned out to be Fred and George's uncles. Oh, but I know!" His eyes lit up. "I once snuck a live deer into the Gryffindor common room specifically for my best mate James to... well, let's just say 'get friendly' with!"
Percy blinked, his bravado faltering for a second. "I am sorry... you did what now?"
"James was my father," Harry explained quickly, looking slightly embarrassed. "And... well, he was also an unregistered Animagus. His animal form was a stag. A male deer."
Sirius grinned proudly. "That is right! And I became an Animagus too, just to keep him company on his nightly runs!"
Percy raised an skeptical eyebrow. "Let me guess... a dog?"
Sirius nodded enthusiastically. "Yes! The big black dog you saw outside! That is me! Now tell me, oh 'greatest prankster that ever lived'," he said sarcastically, "have you ever... you know... done... something like that?"
Instead of answering, Percy just grinned. He took a step back and in a smooth, quick motion, his human form shimmered and changed. Suddenly, standing there was the magnificent black pegasus, its powerful wings flashing briefly in the dim cave light for everyone to see.
Fleur sighed loudly from her spot near the entrance. "'E iz such a z'ow off," she muttered, rolling her eyes. "And 'e 'as ze nerve to say I am vain. Every single time 'e becomes zat damn 'orse, 'e 'as to flaunt 'is feathers like zey were made of solid gold."
Percy instantly changed back into his human form, landing lightly on his feet with a wide smile. "Point is," he said smugly, "I can fly."
Sirius glared back, not backing down. "So? I 'ave a flying motorbike!"
"Cool," Percy conceded with a nod. "But I fought a real, live dragon. And won."
"Ha!" Sirius scoffed loudly. "You think that is something impressive? I once shagged a veela and did not even bother to call her the next day!"
Percy just shrugged, looking unimpressed. "That is nothing to be proud of, mate."
Sirius smirked knowingly. "Oh yeah? Well, where is your beautiful veela girlfriend hanging off your arm then, hotshot?"
Percy simply pointed over his shoulder towards the cave entrance. "Right zere."
Sirius squinted, looking at Fleur. "Okay, I will admit she is very beautiful, stunning even, but she is not-" Just then, Fleur, understanding the challenge, casually reached up and slipped the simple silver ring off her finger.
Sirius's eyes instantly glazed over, his jaw dropped, and he took a stumbling step towards her, his expression turning into one of pure, dopey adoration.
"Oh my God! You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen! I love you! Marry me!"
Just as quickly, Fleur slid the ring back onto her finger. Sirius blinked rapidly, shaking his head as the powerful allure vanished. He looked completely bewildered. "Whoa... okay... what in the bloody hell is going on 'ere?!"
"Oh, that?" Percy said casually, like it was nothing special. "I just invented a way for veelas to block their allure using special runes, if zey wish to." He shrugged again.
"No big deal. Oh, and by the way," he leaned in close to Sirius, lowering his voice to a conspiratorial whisper that only Sirius could hear, "remember how you bragged about one veela? Well, I once 'ad a little... party... with five veelas. All at the same time. An orgy, basically. If you do not believe me," he added, leaning back with a supremely smug look, "just go ask any male student at Hogwarts above fourth year. Zey all know the legend."
Sirius physically recoiled, his eyes popping wide open in utter shock. He stared at Percy, then immediately spun around to face Harry, pointing a shaky finger back at Percy. "Did he... did he really-"
"-Yes," Harry confirmed with a long-suffering sigh before Sirius could even finish.
Sirius turned to Hermione. "-With five-"
"-Yes," Hermione grumbled, looking thoroughly unimpressed.
"Five veelas?!" Sirius squeaked, his voice suddenly very high-pitched.
"Zig," Fleur confirmed from the entrance, rolling her eyes again as if discussing the weather. "Zix, actually. If you count me."
Sirius slowly turned back to face Percy, his expression a mixture of pure disbelief, horrified awe, and something that looked suspiciously like paternal pride.
He stared at Percy for a long moment, seemingly speechless. Then, he threw his hands up in the air in surrender and declared loudly, "Alright, you win! You are my son!"
Percy just blinked at him. "Ah... no. Pretty sure I am not."
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If you want to read ahead by 20+ chapters you could take a visit on my patreon Or check it out.
http://patreon.com/SageOf016