Chapter 10: The Fossil Meets the Reverse-Flash
The Cave Ignites
The damp cave trembled as Ohnoki's patience snapped like a brittle twig. His hands glowed with the faint shimmer of Dust Release, the air humming with lethal intent. Naruto, lounging on his rusty bucket "throne," grinned wider, his yellow suit's red lightning patterns flickering in the dim light. His mask was still off, revealing a smug, whiskered face that practically begged to be punched.
"Regret?" Naruto repeated, hopping to his feet with a theatrical stretch. "Nah, Grandpa. This is the most fun I've had all week. Buckle up, we're just getting started!"
Ohnoki's scowl could've cracked stone. "You arrogant little whelp, I'll grind you into dust!" His hands clapped together, forming a glowing cube of Dust Release: Detachment of the Primitive World Technique. The energy pulsed, expanding rapidly toward Naruto.
Naruto's eyes gleamed. "Ooh, shiny!" Red lightning crackled as he blurred into motion, phasing through the cube with a vibration of his molecules. He reappeared behind Ohnoki, leaning over his shoulder. "Missed me! Gotta be faster than that, old man!"
Ohnoki spun, snarling, and slammed a fist into the ground. Earth Release surged, the cave floor rippling as a Rock Golem erupted, a hulking mass of stone swinging a fist at Naruto. "Dodge this, you pest!"
Naruto ducked under the punch with a casual "Whoops!" and zipped around the golem, tapping its back. "Big guy, huh? Let's see how you dance!" He vibrated his hand, phasing it through the golem's core, then snapped his fingers. A sonic boom erupted, shattering the construct into a shower of pebbles.
"Aw," Naruto pouted, kicking a rock. "I broke your toy. Want me to get you a new one?"
Ohnoki's growl was practically seismic. "You're insufferable!"
"Thanks!" Naruto chirped, striking a pose. "I try."
---
Ohnoki wasn't done. His hands flashed through seals, and the cave walls shuddered as Lava Release kicked in. Molten streams spewed from the ground, snaking toward Naruto in a sizzling web. The air thickened with heat, the lava's glow casting eerie shadows.
Naruto whistled, hopping back. "Hot stuff! You trying to cook me, Grandpa?" He blurred into a yellow streak, weaving through the lava flows with superhuman agility. One stream grazed his suit, singeing the edge. "Hey! This is custom, rude!"
Ohnoki smirked, a rare glint of satisfaction. "Keep running, brat. I'll melt you yet." He thrust a hand forward, unleashing his technique. The air around Naruto thickened, gravity yanking him downward as if he'd strapped on a mountain.
Naruto stumbled, grinning despite the strain. "Oof! Feeling heavy, guess I shouldn't have had that extra ramen!" He vibrated his body, countering the weight with molecular acceleration, and shot upward, hovering mid-air. "Nice try, but I'm too fast for your tricks!"
Ohnoki's scowl returned. "Fast, huh?" Lightning Release crackled to life, his fingers sparking with electricity. A bolt lanced toward Naruto, fast, aiming to fry him mid-flight.
Naruto's reflexes kicked in, the world slowing as he twisted aside. The bolt singed his mask, leaving a faint burnt smell. "Whoa! Static much? You're shocking me, literally!" He zipped behind Ohnoki, flicking his ear. "Tag, you're it!"
Ohnoki swatted at him, furious. "Stand still, you little!" He clapped his hands again, a larger Dust Release cube forming, bigger than the previous one. "Let's see you phase through this!"
Naruto's grin widened. "Challenge accepted!" He vibrated at a higher frequency, phasing through the cube as it expanded, then reappeared upside-down, hanging from the ceiling. "Ta-da! Still here, still handsome!"
The Troll Escalates
Ohnoki, panting slightly, shifted tactics. His hands glowed with Yang Release, infusing the scattered golem rubble with vitality. The stones reformed into a trio of Akuta, clay-like creatures with eerie, lifelike movements, charging Naruto with snapping jaws.
Naruto clapped, delighted. "Oh, you made me pets! Adorable!" He blurred around them, phasing through their lunges, then grabbed one by its "tail" and spun it like a top. "Round and round we go!" He released it, sending it crashing into its siblings, toppling them in a heap.
Ohnoki's eye twitched. "Those aren't toys, you fool!"
"Could've fooled me!" Naruto shot back, now juggling chunks of lava-hardened rock he'd snatched mid-fight. "You're throwing everything at me, Dust, lava, lightning, creepy clay dogs. What's next, a kitchen sink?"
Ohnoki growled, his back creaking as he straightened. "I've fought legends and you're nothing but a gnat!" He unleashed Light-Weight Rock Technique on himself, lifting off the ground, and charged Naruto with a Dust-infused fist.
Naruto dodged with a theatrical gasp. "Flying Grandpa alert!" He zipped around Ohnoki, ruffling his hair again. "Man, you're spry for a fossil! Bet that back's killing you, though!"
Ohnoki's face reddened. "I'll kill you first!" He pivoted mid-air, firing a barrage of Lightning Release bolts, each one crackling with lethal intent.
Naruto danced through them, red lightning trailing. "Missed! Nope! Not even close!" He caught one bolt mid-air, vibrating to disperse its energy, and flicked it back. "Return to sender!"
The bolt grazed Ohnoki's robe, sparking. "You little!" Ohnoki roared, summoning a massive Dust Release cylinder, hurling it like a missile.
Naruto phased through it, reappearing with a bucket on his head like a helmet. "Boom! Still kicking, old man! You're gonna need a bigger nuke!"
Ohnoki, breathing heavily, landed hard, his back audibly popping. "Enough games!" He slammed both hands into the ground, Earth Release surging. The cave floor split, jagged spikes erupting in a deadly maze, tipped with molten lava from his Lava Release.
Naruto whistled, weaving through the spikes at blinding speed. "Spicy obstacle course! You're really stepping it up!" He phased through a spike, grabbed it, and snapped it off with a shockwave. "Oops, broke another one. You're running out of toys!"
Ohnoki's temper boiled over. "I'll bury you!" He formed a Dust Release cube the size of a house, hurling it with a roar. The cave walls groaned under the pressure, stalactites crashing down.
Naruto blurred upward, phasing through the cube and the falling rocks, then landed atop Ohnoki's chair, still intact somehow. "Nice try, but I'm untouchable!" He spun the chair, grinning. "Whee! This is comfy, mind if I keep it?"
Ohnoki staggered, clutching his back. "You… insufferable… pest!" He fired a desperate Lightning Release blast, but Naruto phased through it, reappearing with a mock salute.
"Strike three, Grandpa! You're out!" Naruto zipped around him in a yellow blur, kicking up dust and pebbles, then stopped, hands on hips. "Man, you're fun, but slow. Like, really slow."
The old man cursed at him.
Naruto smirked, leaning in close. "Too bad I'm faster than your history lessons." He snapped his fingers, a sonic boom knocking Ohnoki back into his chair. "Sit down, old man. You're done."
Ohnoki slumped, glaring through sweat and exhaustion. His robe was singed, his hair a mess, and his pride in tatters. Naruto plopped onto a rock, kicking his legs up. "See? Told you I'm a hater with style. You threw everything at me, Dust, lava, lightning, creepy clay pets, and I'm still here, looking fabulous."
Ohnoki's voice was a rasp. "What… do you want, you lunatic?"
Naruto grinned, twirling a pebble. "Oh, just to mess with you. You're a grumpy old fossil who deserves a good trolling. Plus, I wrecked your Akatsuki buddies, so your little village-smashing plan's toast. You're welcome, by the way."
Ohnoki's fists clenched, but his back spasmed, forcing a wince. "You'll pay for this…"
"Sure, sure," Naruto said, waving a hand. "Add it to my tab. For now, I'm keeping you here, maybe teach you some manners. Or at least how to aim."
He zipped over, plopping the bucket on Ohnoki's head. "There! Now you're King Fossil. All hail!" He cackled, doubling over as Ohnoki swatted the bucket off, growling.
The cave settled, tension simmering but unbroken. Naruto's game wasn't over, he'd humiliated Ohnoki, dodged every attack, and left the Tsuchikage fuming. But the old man's eyes burned with defiance. This wasn't the end, just a very annoying intermission.