I don't know when I calmed down and relaxed enough to have sleep claim my consciousness.
Like yesterday, I still have a nipple in my mouth. This time, however, I don't have it in me to let go. Instead, I hold onto it like a baby.
My movements awaken Liz. She moves, and she strokes my hair, letting me do what I want. And I don't want to let go of her warmth. I don't want to get up.
"Max, get up. It is night already, and you need to eat something if not you fall sick. You have been in too much shock these past few days, and your immune system must have weakened. You must not let yourself tarve into a weak state."
I hear Liz, but I don't move. The inertia, the warmth her breast brings me makes me want to stay on the bed forever.
Suddenly, Liz moves down. Her hard nipple slips out of my mouth. While I'm surprised and I'm feeling empty, she puts her hand under my tank top and pushes it up.
My skin makes contact with the cool air of the room and gives me goosebumps. Liz's soft hand slides upward to push my bra up, and the chill on my small breasts makes my nipples harden instinctively, and I can feel them getting engorged.
I have already opened my eyes, and I look down just in time to see Liz violet eyes focus on my breasts, before she went on to swallow the top of the one closest to her.
She looks up to me, smiles with her eyes, and starts doing the same thing I did to her. She starts trying to suckle, as if to pull milk out of my breast.
My hands reflexively go to the back of her head to hold her where she was. Her lips and her wet tongue disconnect my body from the grief inside. My heartbeat accelerates, and with a tingle below, my vagina walls move, and start to let out lubricant.
In just a minute or two, my breathing becomes hot, even though I keep it low.
*Pop*
Liz let go of me. She raises herself up and looks at me with a smile, one of her breasts still outside of her top, with traces of my actions.
Liz follows my gaze to look down. Her smile deepens and she looks at my exposed skin, at the traces she had left on my chest.
I can't look at myself, but I feel like I blush with my whole body. I move slowly to pull my bra down. Liz smiled at my embarrassment. Then her smile gets filled with mischief.
Before I can react, her hand jumps to my chest when she squeezes my breast, and pinches my wet nipple.
"Hm~"
My eyes open wide and I pulled my clothes down with haste. I suppress the tremors running through my body. I do my best to ignore my now wet panties and I bite my lower lip while I glare at my sister.
Not even her smile manages to melt my glare.
She kisses me on the cheek, then stood up. Instead of returning her breast under the cover of her bra and her off-shoulder top, she takes the latter off, then her bra.
She gets naked, and my heart which has yet to calm down races at the sight of the ass she turns toward me. And I can say for sure that it has nothing to do with the echoes that have taken a back seat in my mind with everything that is happening.
I blink when she finishes changing into casual home clothes. She pulls me up. I offer no resistance. She has chased any lethargy out of me.
"Let's go."
********
*Sizzle*
I rest my head on the counter of the kitchen, and I listen to Liz busying herself. That is my way to ignore the chill from my yet-to-dry panties.
Neither of us spoke. After the rush of excitement, I'm not down like before, but the grief and the pain are still there, greater than yesterday, but duller than in the morning.
"Grandpa and grandma were coming back for the funeral, right?"
The noise from movement of the spatula pauses.
"Yes. I called them, and they said they would come back."
Liz resumes her movement after her calm answer.
"The border police said they had an accident. And we can go pick up their ashes when we are ready."
"I see. I will pick the ashes up later, then we will take them to the sea with dad's and mom's."
I raise my head to look at Liz, because her answers were too placid, too calm. But I know she is not feeling any better than me.
When our eyes meet, she offers me a small smile. But it is like that smile is just to take care of me and nurse my painful heart.
"Sis, is it really an accident?"
She asks without pausing, and without looking at me:
"Why do you ask that?"
I take a deep breath, because I can't help but feel that Liz is hiding some things from me.
"An accident in the day, another at night. Dad, mom, grandpa, grandma."
Liz looks at me with a small smile:
"Don't think too much, Max. I don't know the details for our maternal grandparents yet, but the culprit for the accident that… sent you to the hospital has been arrested. He will be sent to prison, and the insurance will compensate us. If you don't trust others, at least you should trust the insurance companies, right? They would never have accepted to pay if the story was not clear."
I open my mouth. I wanted to talk about what happened with Josh, and also about what happened with the man from the border police, but I don't speak.
I close my mouth and lower my head to the countertop once again.
But that emotionless voice still swirls in my head. The word 'insulator' scratches my heart. And when added to the confirmation that followed, it is pulling at my mind, making me uncomfortable.
First, the scene that disgusted me, then the words I heard later even though the man from the border police didn't open his mouth to speak. And now that I think back to it, I can't help but notice that the scene that played in my head has been in Josh's perspective.
What is going on?