761 NE-08-17.
The morning of the departure for the hunt was filled with primal, disciplined chaos, like a war camp mobilising for glory.
I stood at the top of the entrance stairs, dressed in my dark dress. Adel stood on my right as her hand clasped perfectly in front of her, while Lady Octavi stood on my left with her hand resting on the hilt of her sword.
Below us was a sea of movement. Stable hands and footmen struggled to hold the reins of high-spirited destriers.
"Is a hunt always like…. This aggressive?" I whispered to them as I watched footmen load a rack of spears. "It feels less like a sport and more like an invasion or preparation for war."
"It is a projection of power, my lady," Lady Octavi answered. "The other dukes will bring their best. If House Aurelius brings picnic baskets and a silk tent, they will look us weak. Your father intends to remind them that the 'Golden Family' has steel and prowess…"
"About the destriers… Are they trained for battle as well?" I asked, feeling a mix of excitement and apprehension.
Lady Octavi nodded, her expression unreadable. "They are the finest warhorses in the realm, bred for speed and strength. They are the horses of the Cataphract Army, my lady…"
"So Aurelio will ride that horse?"
"No, my lady," Lady Octavi said gently while her eyes remained fixed on the warhorses below. "A destrier is for the charge, to break lines. It is heavy and aggressive. For a hunt, Destrier will make young master, Aurelio, slower than the prey. He just needs speed and agility, warhorse. The young master will ride a Courser."
"Courser?"
"Yes, my lady. A Courser is a swift and nimble horse, perfect for the hunt. Aurelio will be able to keep up with his prey and manoeuvre quickly through the forest," Lady Octavi explained. "The Courser is a noble steed, fit for a young master like Aurelio."
"So why do we need to bring destriers if we don't need them for hunting?"
"Well, the destriers aren't for the hunt." Lady Octavi explained while her gaze swiftly shifted to the armoured destriers. "They are for the Vanguard, my lady."
"The Vanguard?"
"We are entering a gathering of armies, not a picnic," Lady Octavi said. "If your family arrives with only light hunting horses. The other houses will see your family as prey. The Destriers are the heavy cavalry. They are there to remind everyone that while we are here to hunt, we have the prowess to crush armies…" Her eyes glanced at mine. "You may see types of special armies from other families in the hunt gathering, my lady."
"So it's just a theatrical play…" I whispered.
"The court and nobility are a theatrical play, my lady," Adel interjected. "You need to understand that every move, every gesture, every choice is a carefully calculated statement of power and influence. It's not just about the hunt; it's about politics."
Lady Octavi nodded in agreement. "Remember, in the world of nobility, perception is everything."
"And in this play, we are not just the actors who recite the lines; we are the ones who write them."
A voice cut through our conversation, and we turned to the entrance.
It was my mother. She stepped out of the house. She wore a riding habit of deep crimson that suited her red eyes. She looked at me with a warm, maternal smile; her eyes were sharp as they scanned my face.
"Mother…" I went down to meet her with Adel, and Lady Octavi was behind me.
I stopped in front of her. Her eyes softened as she looked at my dress. She reached out to gently embrace my cheek.
"My, you look beautiful, Aurelia," she said with her gentle voice. "However, you look pale, darling. Are you feeling unwell? Do I need to bring Sofia?"
"No, mother," I shook my head. "I am… just thinking about today, as it's a big event. I don't want to make a mistake."
"Thinking?" She let out a small giggle. "You worry too much, my dear. Today is a hunt, not a test. You don't need to burden your head. You just need to enjoy the fresh air, as you have been in your room for an entire week.
She turned her gaze to the bustling courtyard, watching the armoured destriers and the loading of the massive weapon racks.
"Although," she added. "It seems your father is taking it too far, do you think?"
"Does it, mother? I thought it was just another typical father, how he would prepare for an event."
"It is typical of him," she agreed with a mischievous glint appearing in her eyes.
My father emerged from the house. He was dressed in his full hunting regalia, a rugged leather coat adorned with fur. In his hand, he carried the regalia cane, looking sturdy and proud. When he saw us, his serious face broke into a beaming smile.
"Aurelia!" He walked down the stairs with a heavy and confident stride. "How is your body, my dear?" He stopped in front of me.
"I am fine, father…" I said.
My mother interjected, "She is thinking too much about this event, my dear."
"Thinking too much about this even?" My father's gaze turned to me. "Why do you think about this even too much, my darling? Just don't do that…"
I could see the concern in his eyes as he gently placed a hand on my shoulder. "You must relax and enjoy the moment," he said softly. His words brought a sense of calm over me, knowing that he was there to support me.
"It is good to see you under the sun again," he said as his voice was thick with emotion. "Your room… it wasn't too unpleasant, was it?"
"No, my father…my room is my room, but being outside in the fresh air is truly refreshing," I replied with a smile.
He let out a heavy sigh. "I hated it," he admitted as he looked down at me with sad eyes. "I hated to confine you in your own room. As dinner has been quiet…too quiet, it felt like a punishment for me than for you."
"My dear," Mother told father gently as her hand rested tenderly on his arm. She looked at me with her serious expression, yet her eyes were warm. "It was necessary, Aurelia. You took some risks that terrified us. We had to ensure you understood the weight of your decision, especially your own safety."
She reached out and brushed my hair.
"But do not think we enjoyed it," she whispered. "We missed you, darling. A home isn't a home when its heart is locked away."
"I understand, mother and father," I said. "I have learnt my lesson."
"Good," Father said, forcing a brighter smile onto his face, desperate to move past the gloom. "How about we go inside the carriage now?"
"I still need to wait, Aurelio, father…"
"Ah, yes… The hunters," Father said. "I believe he is bringing his own vanguard."
His own vanguard?
As if summoned by the title, the heavy doors of the entrance hall swung open.
Aurelio walked out first.
As he didn't look like the little brother who used to be seven years ago. He wore fitted leather armour. At his hip, a real sword hung heavy and sharp. He walked with a stiff and formal posture as his eyes fixed straight ahead, avoiding mine.
"Aurelio," I called him as I took some steps to meet him. "You look… prepared. Is a boar too big for you? Perhaps a rabbit?" I tried to bridge the gap between us with a light-hearted joke.
Aurelio stopped. He didn't smile back as he slowly turned his head to me with his unreadable expression, a stark contrast to the boy who begged me not to go to the capital weeks ago.
"I am not hunting rabbits, Sister," he said with a low voice. "And I do not need you to worry about my quarry."
He just walked past me and just straight towards the carriage.
I froze. Since I left for the capital weeks ago, his attitude has shifted.
"He's just focused!" A loud and cheerful voice broke the silence for me.
As Alecia marched in behind him, she wore custom-made leather gear. However, what drew stares from the footmen and me was the weapon strapped to her back, a great axe. She carried the heavy weapon as if it were a twig, and she was just the same age as Ophelia, 14 years old.
Behind her walked Felix, calm and composed. He wore dual short swords at his waist.
"We are a team, Lady Aurelia!" Alecia announced, grinning and running past me to catch up with Aurelia. She slapped my brother on the back, making him stumble slightly.
As Aurelio frowned at her, he didn't push her away. He just leaned in to say something to her. It was a stark difference from how he treated me.
"He allows Alecia to touch him," I whispered to Adel, feeling a lump in my throat. "Yet, he won't even look at me."
"Well, Alecia has been sweating in the mud with him for years, my lady," Adel replied softly. "They share the bond of the sword…Now, you…you are the distant sister…"
The realisation may hurt, but I nodded. I had to accept it.
…
..
.
The carriage wobbled gently as it moved along the forest road.
I sat facing my parents. My father sat heavily as his hands rested on the head of his cane. He wasn't looking at the passing forest; he was staring at the floorboards.
Mother sat beside him while holding his arm gently. She was looking at him with concern as occasionally squeezing his hand to offer comfort.
"Aurelia," Father said as his voice was low and thick with emotion.
"Yes, father?"
"The orphanage," he whispered and lifted his eyes to meet mine. His eyes didn't show any suspicion, but showed some sort of pain. "I keep thinking about that night. When we told you about the fire… You fell to your knees. You looked so despairing. As if… as if you expected the world to be that cruel."
He leaned forward as his hands reached out to pat my knee awkwardly.
"My dear," mother said softly to father.
"I must ask," Father continued while looking at me with pleading eyes. "Is there something else? Is someone threatening you? Are you scared of someone, Aurelia? You can tell us. Your mother and I will protect you."
My heart squeezed as my father was terrified I was in danger.
"No one threatened me, father," I said while managing to show a small and sad smile. "However… the truth is… When I woke up seven years ago without memories, I felt the world was very big and very scary… The more I learnt about the world, the more I felt like I didn't belong. It's not about someone threatening me; it's about feeling lost and alone in a world that doesn't feel like mine."
My parents exchanged a worried glance, their expressions softening with understanding.
"My dear," mother said with her voice trembling. She reached out and pulled me into an embrace. "You are not lost. You are Aurelia. You are ours. You are my lovely daughter. And this world belongs to you as much as anyone else's."
I pulled back just enough to look at her. "However, that is just it, mother," I whispered as my voice cracked. "You say I am Aurelia… But I don't know who she is. For fourteen years, she lived, she laughed, she loved you… and I don't remember a single second of it."
I looked at my hands.
"I wake up every day in a room that feels like someone's room with someone's body," I confessed as the words spilt out. "I wear her dresses. I use her name. I even play with her siblings. But I don't know what her favourite colour was. I don't know what made her cry. I feel like… like a ghost haunting a body that isn't mine, Mother. How can I belong in this world when I didn't know the first portion of my own life?"
The silence in the carriage was deafening. Father looked distressed, as if I had slapped him. Mother's eyes shone with unshed tears.
Father reached out for me.
"You are not a ghost," he said fiercely. "Those fourteen years… they are precious to us, yes. But the seven years since? The daughter who woke up, who learnt to walk again, who learnt to read again, who cares so deeply for her siblings that she would fight the world for them… That is the daughter I am proud of."
Mother squeezed my shoulder.
"We did not lose Aurelia," she said clearly while staring into my eyes. "We watched her grow up twice. And I love her sitting before me just as much as the child I carried. Do not ever doubt that your place is here, with us…"