"What is destiny? Is destiny always absolute? If a person is destined to die tomorrow, can that person avoid death? Do humans just follow the flow of destiny, or can we break it?"
That was what I always thought about the book, where I read my own fate in the book's world and became this person, the 'villain'. It seemed I had an obligation to follow the book's world, yet if my fate was my own death, surely I would avoid that fate, no matter if God told me to follow it.
There were two types of fate that believers believed in. First was the fate that humans could not change. No matter how much humans wanted to change this fate, they would face it. It was the fate of death and the fate of a soulmate. God had already decided your fate regarding those things, such as where, when, or how you would die, or who your soulmate would be, before human birth.
The other fate was the fate you could change. There were a lot of these types of fate. The fate that you would pass an exam depended on you. Whether you wanted to study or not was God's matter; it was your matter. You wanted to be healthy, you wanted to be rich, you wanted to be famous, and so on. It was your fate that you could change by how you acted.
But there was an exception to the fate you couldn't change. The exception was that you still needed to try to achieve it. For example, if you wanted to have a soulmate or partner to marry but didn't make any effort to find one, just staying alone waiting for someone to come to you, God would not unite you with the fated one. And if you didn't want to die fast, you needed to stay healthy, eat healthy food, and not do something stupid.
Sometimes this became a paradox. If God already knew my fate, why did I need to try to achieve it? If, in the end, God already knew about me from the beginning.
So, was the book's story like God's fate? The character in the book could not change it, but if someone was aware of the story, could they change the story or the fate of the book? Even though I would be against the Gods or Goddesses in my own world, I still refused to die in the flow of the book or do what the book told me.
…
One day in the evening, I opened my eyes and saw a different ceiling, a ceiling that I didn't recognise. In front of me was my hair, which was long. I didn't know I had long hair. Half-asleep, I tried to get up from the bed, but my hair kept getting in front of me. I looked around; I didn't recognise the room. There was a big mirror, a big dressing table, a big wardrobe, and a big window with a big balcony beside the bed. Everything seemed fancy to me; even the bed was so fancy.
I saw the door to my room open. There was a maid who brought a bowl with a towel and entered the room. Our eyes met, and suddenly she was surprised and dropped the bowl with the towel. I raised my hand to call her, but she immediately exited the room.
I lay back and examined what the hell was going on. Did I have this type of room before? Did I have this white hair before? I stood up from the bed to check my face and my body. I walked to the big mirror beside the window. In front of the mirror, I saw someone in thin cloth pyjamas. Was this my body? The body was smaller, maybe around 14 years old. Disbelieving what I just saw, I kept touching the body and the hair.
The sound of the door opening made me turn my head back to the door. I saw some people entering my room. There was the maid from before, a lady with long white hair, a man with short white hair, and a little boy and a little girl behind them. Their faces were so worried.
"Is that really my Aurelia?" The lady spoke.
The lady and the man immediately approached me and hugged me. I wanted to reply to the hug, but I didn't know what was going on. It felt awkward. The lady showed her face to me, and I saw there was a tear in her eyes.
"Aurelia… You are awake… How is your body? Are you hurting anywhere?" The lady said to me.
"Oh dear… How about you calm down for a second? It seems Aurelia can't handle a lot of thought, and look at her face; she is still in shock and pale…" The man tried to calm the lady.
The two released their hug on me.
"I know... my dear, but to see Aurelia awake and standing makes me so happy… I can't hold my feelings back against it."
They didn't hug me anymore, but something was tugging at my leg. It was the little boy and the little girl hugging my leg. When I looked at the two carefully, they were twins with different eye colours. The girl had red eyes like the lady's and long white hair, and the boy had blue eyes like the man's and short white hair. The girl held a doll in her arms. They were so cute.
"Aurelia, you need to take a rest in bed. And you two, let her leg go."
The little two released their hug on my leg, and the lady accompanied me to the bed with everyone in the back. I lay down again in bed, and she lifted the blanket.
"How's your body?" The lady kept questioning.
"Au..re..li..a" I tried to say something to them.
"What is it?"
"You called me Aurelia. Is that my name?"
I saw everyone's shocked faces after I asked about it.
The man immediately shouted, "WHERE IS THE PHYSICIAN THAT I ORDERED EARLIER?" I saw his face go startled.
"She is on the way here, Your Grace." The maid answered.
"HOW LONG? YOU PICK HER UP!"
The maid ran straight out of the room. The lady's face was startled, in disbelief. I saw the two felt uneasy about it; the lady kept holding my right hand, and the man kept walking back and forth. The little two were beside the lady. The room was filled with complete silence while the lady beside me kept holding my right hand. The little two were beside my face.
After some minutes of silence, the maid came to the room with a red-haired woman.
The maid addressed the man, "The physician has come, Your Grace."
"Great. Quickly check my daughter."
The words my daughter said surprised me. The little two stepped back from me and let the woman come and sit on the bed beside me, but the lady kept holding my right hand. The physician touched my hand, especially the pulse. I saw she closed her eyes while checking my pulse. After some moments, she touched my forehead and touched her own forehead. I realised she checked my temperature compared with the temperature of her forehead.
The physician addressed the lady and the man, "I believe there is nothing wrong with her condition."
"Are you 100% sure about it?" The man replied.
"I'm sure, Your Grace."
"But she asked about her name. It felt like she didn't know her own name," the lady replied.
I looked at the physician, and she turned her face to me.
"Do you know your own name?" She asked me.
"They called me Aurelia… I think that's my name…"
"Before they called you Aurelia, did you know your own name?"
"I don't know.."
"Can you remember anything about the past?"
"What past?"
"Hmmmmm… How about these two children behind me, do you recognise them?"
I looked carefully at their faces. "I have no idea.."
The lady's and the man's faces became so worried.
"Do you not know them?"
"I'm sorry, I have no idea."
"How about the lady who is still holding your hand right now, do you recognise her?"
I turned my face to her. "I don't have any idea.."
The lady's face became more anxious and worried.
"How about your dreams? Do you have any dreams when you are asleep?"
"I can't remember it."
The physician stood up and moved forward to the lady and the man. I saw her whisper something to them. They followed her out of the room. After they were out of the room, there were still the two little ones in the room. I saw their faces look like they wanted to cry.
They came to my bed and held my right arm.
The boy spoke first, "Sister Aurelia, do you really not know us?"
I could not answer his question.
The girl spoke with a stutter, like she wanted to cry, "Sis..ter… Aure..lia.. Are..you..real..ly…sis..ter... Aurelia..?"
Still, I could not answer the question.
The girl showed her doll with her two hands. "Look… You..mus..t..k..now..who..she..is?"
I kept quiet. The girl seemed unable to hold her emotions anymore and started to cry. The boy tried to calm her down to stop crying, but it failed, and he started to cry too.
I got up from lying in bed and tried to calm them down. I put my hands on their heads and started to pat them. I was just smiling at them.
The man and the lady with the physician immediately went back into the room. The lady went to the little two and started to calm them down. The man went with her. The physician stood in front of my bed.
The physician tried to explain to all of us, "I think it is better to let everyone know, especially My Lady, about the condition of My Lady."
She started to make a statement, "My Lady has suffered memory loss. The amount of memory lost, I still don't know, because My Lady didn't recognise Madam. Madam was the one who gave birth to My Lady. If My Lady didn't recognise her own birth mother, all the memories of My Lady may be lost. But there is hope in My Lady's situation. Usually, when people lose their memory, they act like a baby or a child. My Lady acted not like a baby or child. Even My Lady understood what I had said, so it would be great if My Lady started to learn everything again. I hope in the process of learning, My Lady regains her memory."
"It's great, but I think it's better if we start introducing ourselves…" The lady said, "Let me introduce myself to you. My name is Cordelia Aurelius. I am your birth mother, as she said, and you are Aurelia Aurelius." She patted the little two. "Do you want to introduce yourselves on your own, or will your mother introduce you to your own sister?"
"No... I wa..nt to Intro..duce..my..self... sobsob" The boy stuttered from crying. "My..name..is.. sobsob... Aurelio Aurelius."
"I..am.. sobsob… Ophe..lia… Aur..elius… sobsob" The girl stuttered.
The lady patted their heads. I turned my face to the man.
The lady turned her face to the man, too. "Dear.. I think you start to introduce yourself, too."
"Right.. right… I am Marcus Aurelius. I am your father…"
"As you already know, we are the Aurelius family… and the one who checked you is our family physician. Her name is Sofia."
Sofia was bowing to me.
"I think you should take a rest first after hearing all of this….. Two of you, let your sister take a rest…"
All of them left the room…