Meanwhile, back at the Comfy Cow Inn…
Andrew was walking cautiously down the hallway of the second floor. The hallway couldn't decide if it wanted to be long or short, narrow or wide. Doorknobs were melting down the doors and each door was either too tall or too short as Andrew passed them by.
"Yo!" Andrew yells, startled at his surroundings. Suddenly, a door opens down the hall and a vibrant, pale light emanated from inside. Andrew walks towards the door.
Inside the room, Andrew stumbled into a mysterious, pastel colored room decorated with depictions of mushrooms and cows. The floor and dressers were littered with milk cartons of different colors and flavors. Then, the man in the cow costume who announced the rules of the mystery appears in front of Andrew.
"Hello mystery tripper" Oat says. "Welcome to the comfort of the secret sanctuary."
"Hi, I need help", Andrew says in a worried tone. "I wasn't really expecting this. Can you make it stop?"
"Don't worry my friend, I am also under the influence of the same magic. We are in this together." Oat assures as he takes a sip from a glass bottle of milk to show Andrew that he wasn't lying.
"Have you had any luck with solving the mystery?" Oat asks.
"Uh, I think so…I don't know yet", Andrew says in confusion.
"How do you feel?" Oat asks.
"My body feels like…warm, raw meat." Andrew replies as he rubbed on his body.
"I asked how do you feel, not what do you feel." Oat says mysteriously.
"I don't understand…I just want this to stop." Andrew says.
"Come on. Let's go take a walk around the farm", Oat leads Andrew out of the room. "It'll help you calm down."
"Around the what?" Andrew had trouble understanding anything. "Maybe I should lay down and try to sleep. I really want to go to sleep."
"Trust me, the last thing you want to try to do is go to sleep. The magic isn't going to let you anyway", Oat explains. "Just come on, walk with me around the farm."
Outside, as the sun began to descend behind the trees in the distance, Oat and Andrew walked along a wooden fence on a trail leading from the Inn to a farm where cows grazed and horses neighed. Andrew could feel a bit of relief from the "magic".
"Hey, I think it's starting to come down a bit." Andrew says.
"That's good. For some people, the come down is better than the experience itself, it makes enduring the peak of the experience worth while." Oat says.
"Yeah, I feel great."
"Now what about clues to the mystery? Think about what you saw." Oat says.
Andrew thinks back to the experience. He thinks of the duffle-bag shaped like poo and the woman biting into the mushroom, the images that stood out the most.
"Uh…wait, no way! I think I solved it!" Andrew says excitedly. "The secret to the magic milk is mushrooms that grow out of poop?"
"That's it! You solved it!" Oat says excitedly but still weirdly in a calm manner.
"Heck yeah! I solved a mystery!"
"You sure did. Congratulations. But let me tell you something." Oat stops by the fence, where, just in front of them were cows stuffing their mouths with grass.
"Do you think cows are amazing creatures?" Oat asks.
"Uh, I guess…" Andrew answers.
"The beings from beyond the stars seem to think so", oat continues, "thirty years ago, a few of my cows were abducted by beings from outer space. When they were brought back, they didn't appear to be harmed or changed in any way. I wondered what those beings had done to my beloved cows until one day, about a week later, I found something growing out of one of their piles of shit— we call them patty cakes. Anyway, it looked like a little bunch of mushrooms were growing out of it. I picked one from the patty cake and examined it. It looked edible to me so I ate it. It didn't taste too bad so I ate another, and then another. Just to see. About an hour later, I experienced almost exactly what you experienced."
"Whoah! So these mushrooms came from outer space?"
"Sure did."
"That's fuckin' awesome! Now that experience is even cooler!" Andrew says.
"I have one more secret to reveal", Oat says, "My real name is Orville. I'm the founder of the Comfy Cow Inn."
"Oh really?" Andrew says.
"The experience from the mushrooms from space gave me the idea to build a huge barn with a lot of rooms. When I was done, I thought, 'why don't I turn this big barn into an Inn?' So I did and that's how the Comfy Cow Inn was born." Oat explains.
"That's crazy."
"Come on, let's go announce the winner of the mystery." Oat leads Andrew back to the Inn.