Book Four
Volume 14
Ch. 191 Rome
Pov.
-Kara-
-
I kick my feet and flap my arms, trying to swim against the current that was dragging me to the bottom.
My body was too small.
My body was too weak.
No matter how hard I tried. All I could do was sink.
I was half way there. Before then, I was too scared to even dip my toes, but now I'm half way there.
On the other side of the river I could see a little girl.
Smaller than me. With long brown hair reaching for my hand…
All I have to do was extend my arm…
But I'd rather drown…
-
My eyes flutter open as Cana pours another bucket of water over my head.
"He's going to be okay, Kara…" she rinses his blood off our hands.
After bathing in the waterfall we return back home where Eri was attending to Thorfinn. As the girl sobbed at his bedside.
"Whats your name, darling." Cana rubs her back
It took her a moment before she could even respond
"It's… it's Paris…"
…
"Paris what?"
She shakes her head
"And Him?"
"Th-Thorfinn, Son of Thors."
I watch Paris as she speaks to Cana…
3 days later
Paris… she looks just like her too.
Are you mocking me? I open my arms to the sky.
You'd think stripping my pride once was enough…
Say something…
Strike me down.
Do it.
It's been ages since I've even recognized him.
Say Something.
Anything…
Tell me how disappointed you are.
Tell me
…
I sit on the roof, deep into my conscience, as Cana and the girls pray for Thorfinn
Canas Prayer
"Hail Mary, Full of Grace.
Tabernacle of the Word, wrap your mantle around him. Speak his name before the throne.
What we cannot heal, you may touch.
Through your most Holy intercession, we beg this one grace
If it be God's will that you direct His most Holy Grace that you Magnify with your Immaculate Heart."
When she's done the girls mechanically recite the rosary as if they were reading off a sheet of paper.
I cover my ears, digging my nails into my skull
It's like he's shoving it down my throat.
Damn you…
I don't need you.
…
I disappear for the rest of the day until dinner.
"Thanks a lot, Cana. I really Like it a lot!" Paris pats her blue habit down
"She has more, of more colors, too!" Eri jumps into her seat beside her
After dinner I joined Cana who was praying quietly by his bedside.
"Kara." She sits up before her smile wavers. "Who is he… I mean really?"
…
"The truth?"
She nods, setting her hands on my thigh.
"My son."
…
"Huh?" She tilts her head
"Y-Your brother?"
"He's my Son… Cana."
"B-But we're all like… the same age?"
"Dont try to make sense of it, Cana." I sigh "there's a lot I haven't told you."
"Wah!" She jumps on her chair, pointing at my face "you took advantage of me!"
"Wh-what? C-Cana- I-."
"Rawr!" She tackles me off the chair
"Cana… wh-what the hell…" I stab her sides
"Wahh! You!"
"You cheated me, you! You'll pay!" She giggles around, trying to sneak under my shirt
"Stupid-."
"Ouch!" She yelps, tugging her hand back and sucking on her finger.
Before I could move her aside she plants her hands on my chest, staring at the scars on my neck…
"What?"
"I know enough…" she sniffs
My heart sinks into my stomach
…
"To know how long you've been alone…" she looks up at me… "the pain you endured and the pain you… how long you've been searching." Her eyes well up with tears
I felt my throat tighten up and a pain in my chest that urged me to bring her in for a hug, but I didn't have the courage to do it.
I set her aside…
Standing back up, I fix my chair before hearing the sheets rustle
I caught Thorfinn's wrist, before he could lodge a knife into my throat.
"After everything…" He coughs
"Sit down, Thorfinn."
"I hesitsted… because I saw you with them…" he yanks his hand back "and that's when they caught up to me…"
I step back, between Canas legs
He drags his dagger across my chest, tearing my shirt but doing absolutely nothing to my actual skin
"Hey, stop it!" She squeezes between my legs and shoved him back "I just baught that shirt!"
He coughs blood into his hand
I grab Canas shoulder, ready to pull her out of the way and put him down if he so much as threatens her.
But he continues coughing and stumbles back onto the bed
"Paris, towels!" Cana jumps for the bucket of water by the bed
"Thorfinn!" Paris hurries inside with the towels and quickly helps Cana pat him clean as she hurries to make a remedy in the kitchen
I cross my arms, watching as they all worked together to make him feel better.
I still couldn't believe how old he is. Or that I'd even see him again for that matter.
Despite the piercing glare he gave me he let Cana fix him up as best she could.
They must've followed him to get to me. Course only my kin is talented enough to track me down.
I nod at Cana.
She smiles and leads the girls outside.
He was reckless, led by nothing but rage.
"What of Thors? Did you get your… revenge?"
"Tch- like you give a shit" He spits
"You're right, I don't" I cross my arms "did you kill him or not?"
…
"He died before I could do it myself."
…
"I tried to go back home… but I couldn't bare to look at mom… seeing her work so hard while you were gone looking for me…" he squeezes his fists
"But in reality you were just playing Hero in Japan the entire time while she worked herself into the dirt."
"Shes dead?"
"No… not yet."
"So why not stay? Why come looking for me?
"Why look for my father?"
…
"I always thought deep down you cared… but after Japan, watching you play God. And pretend to be a father…"
…
"What? Say it."
"More than anything I wanted to kill you… for lying to them, just like you lied to me…"
…
"Why don't you quit pretending to be a saint and show them what you really are."
…
"What? You don't think I care?"
"I know you don't."
"Is that why I saved you? Ungrateful prick, You're welcome."
"I'll drop dead before you get that from me."
"What did I gain from saving you, besides your spite? Think I expected any more from you? After I abandoned you and your mother? After I let you run around aimlessly to avenge your grandfather? For ten years, you weren't even a thought in the back of my mind…"
Yet I dragged my pride through the dirt to save him the very first chance I got…
"Exactly that! You think you can make up for everything by showing up once… well you can't…" he storms out of the room
Is that it?
Am I just trying to justify everything I did to him? Is that why I saved him?
…
Cana peaks inside before joining me.
Or is it… the same thing I saw in her?
The very thing… I fear most…
"Cana…"
"Yes, Kara?"
"Why did I save him?"
She smiles, bringing my hand into her heart.
"Because he's your son."
"My… son…"
"You knew him just as you knew yourself before he was even conceived. And it was written in your heart the very moment he was born that you were to love him."
I pull my hand away
"That isn't true."
How can I love? If I can not even mourn my children? Kei and Sakura I watched them all…
I let them all…
"You did not know love then."
"What?"
"But you searched and you found. The love that was locked away in your hardened heart. Because I love you just as you love me." She hides her face in my chest
"Our love was so great it blossomed into life. That's why I adore so much more the love that brought us together."
I hold her close as she clings to me, her tears soaking into my shirt. As I try making sense of this…
This love… For so long, I rejected. Only to submit to her every time…
…
-to be continued