Cherreads

Holy Orders: America’s Most Overqualified Exorcist

A_divin5
This isn't your average Sunday sermon. When the sun sets in this America, the real monsters come out— Chainsaw-wielding hillbillies, wax museums that never existed, cursed cabins in the woods, clown cults, dream demons, haunted dolls, and unclassified anomalies prowl the shadows... And right in the middle of it? Gideon Black, who woke up one day as a priest—armed with a divine leveling system. Now, he blesses suburban homes, exorcises demonic squatters, and offers life coaching to emotionally exhausted ghosts. With skills like: [Soul Insight] – spot a demon’s weak point before it spots you. [Psychological Counseling] – because even monsters need therapy. [Holy Water Blessing] – one drop of holy water, entire haunted house purified. [Gospel Hymn] – a church event so powerful even Hellhounds stay home. But Gideon is cautious—too cautious. He doesn’t fight unless the odds are stacked in his favor. He double-checks the salt lines, proofreads his holy verses, and once quarantined a cursed toaster just in case. When the Apocalypse finally arrives? Satan: "This guy solo'd my dungeon and left a Yelp review." Fallen Angel: "Even I pray to him when I get scared." Cthulhu: "@!?xx(╯‵□′)╯︵┻━┻" God slams the table: “You guys are weak—go train harder.” Unlock exclusive access to advanced chapters: patreon.com/A_divin5 Raw: 这个神父很强却过 分谨慎
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