This "he"—who could it be? Of course, Miss Jun knew.
When Miss Xiao sent Zhao Hanqing away to relay a message, Miss Jun immediately realized it was to get rid of him.
Sending Zhao Hanqing away must mean she intended to ask about Master.
For Miss Xiao to finally ask about Master, it stirred a mix of emotions in Miss Jun—excitement, but also a sharp pang of sorrow.
Ten years of silence, and now, upon her first inquiry, it brings news of death. Who could bear such a blow?
So she thought to delay, to gradually reveal the details, giving Miss Xiao time to prepare before speaking the truth.
But to her surprise, Miss Xiao directly asked when Master died.
She didn't ask whether he had passed, but instead, with certainty, inquired about the exact time of death.
This left Miss Jun feeling unexpectedly overwhelmed.
"H-he... he went out searching for medicine, not..." she stammered.
Miss Xiao smiled faintly at her and took the tea from her hands.
"Jiuling, how many years did you train under him?" she asked.
"Six years," Miss Jun answered without hesitation.
Miss Xiao was momentarily taken aback, but then let out a soft laugh.
"So it's about the same," she said. "I was going to say I spent nearly ten years by his side and knew exactly what kind of person he was. But it seems your time wasn't much different."
Miss Jun smiled faintly in response.
"It's not the same. Master never told me much," she said.
Miss Xiao looked at her and smiled.
"He picked on you, didn't he? Wasn't very nice to you either?" she asked.
From the perspective of a child, he really hadn't been particularly kind.
"He didn't appear nice, but his heart was in the right place. And it was only by treating me harshly, by being strict and difficult, that I was truly able to learn," Miss Jun said.
"That's how he was," Miss Xiao replied. "Not exactly a good person, but enough to make you grit your teeth in hatred sometimes. But anything he could do himself, he'd never entrust to another."
At this, she looked intently at Miss Jun.
"He never mentioned us to you. So before meeting us, you had no idea we even existed."
Miss Jun lowered her head, biting her lower lip.
That must have been because Master never had the chance to tell her. If he could've, he certainly would have...
"If he had the chance, he would've come himself. He never would've sent you in his place," Miss Xiao continued. "Since you're the one who came, that means he could no longer make it."
Miss Jun's tears poured down like rain.
"And look at you now, crying like this when meeting us. You're not sad because you saw us, but because it reminds you he'll never see us again. That's what really makes you cry, isn't it?" Miss Xiao said, pulling Miss Jun to sit down as she gently dabbed away her tears with a handkerchief. "What a crying little one you are."
Miss Jun buried her face in the handkerchief, sobbing uncontrollably.
Miss Xiao said no more. She sat quietly by her side, accompanying her in silence.
Hearing the sound of crying from inside, Zhu Zan, who was wandering nearby with a few carefully picked maidservants in tow, immediately stopped in his tracks, his face full of wariness.
"Crying again?" he muttered to himself. "If I walk in, they'll probably find a way to blame me for it."
With that, he spun around and waved dismissively at the maidservants and handmaids behind him, shooing them off as if chasing away a flock of chickens.
......….
...…
"It happened so suddenly. I searched for him an entire night before I found him," Miss Jun said, her voice faltering as tears slid down her cheeks once more.
"He was still clutching herbs in his hand."
Miss Xiao was silent for a moment, then reached out and gently placed a hand on Miss Jun's shoulder.
"It must've truly frightened you," she said softly.
Even now, she hadn't shed a single tear, nor did her eyes reveal the slightest redness. On hearing about the Master's death, her first concern was about whether Miss Jun had been scared.
Miss Jun looked at her, her heart inexplicably aching yet also stirred.
Yes, at that time, she had been utterly terrified. She had sat before Master's corpse for an entire day, her mind blank, as though trapped in a dream.
Indeed, it felt like a dream—a dream that spiraled into nightmares in the days that followed.
Even now, she felt as though part of her soul still sat beside Master's corpse.
Stretching out her arms, she wrapped them around Miss Xiao and nodded slightly on her shoulder.
Yes, she was scared. She had always been scared. Losing Master terrified her. Losing her parents terrified her. When she and her siblings were confined to Prince Huai's mansion, she had been terrified. Getting married terrified her. The moment she drew her sword against the emperor terrified her. When blades struck her body, she was terrified. Even waking up in a stranger's body terrified her. Every step she had taken was laced with fear.
Soon, her tears soaked Miss Xiao's shoulder.
Miss Xiao patted her back soothingly.
"Don't be afraid, don't be afraid. This too shall pass," she said. "When my home and country were destroyed, I was terrified too. But then I met your Master, and I wasn't scared anymore. When he passed away, I was again terrified. But then I met you. See, none of us know what tomorrow holds, but fear has a way of fading over time. Life, somehow, always moves forward."
Miss Jun nodded firmly against her shoulder.
"Master's wife, I should've been the one comforting you. You're the one hurting the most," she said, wiping away her tears as she rose to her feet. "Master spent all these years for your sake. Please don't hold it against him."
Miss Xiao smiled faintly again.
"There's no point in holding grudges, is there? He's no longer here," she said. "With him, I was happy. Without him, I've despaired. Happiness, sorrow—it's all part of life. We just have to keep living, especially for us old folks. Let's make the most of the days we have left."
Not knowing how to respond, Miss Jun simply stood up and brought out the handwritten notes left by Master.
"This is for you," she said.
Miss Xiao shook her head lightly.
"I'm not interested in taking that. It has nothing to do with me. My husband was the man who lived life alongside me. As for this coward, who only dares speak to paper, I don't wish to know him," she said, pushing the notes back to Miss Jun. "Jiuling, keep it. It's yours."
Miss Jun neither insisted nor persuaded further.
"Uncle Yang and Uncle Xia have all been settled. Next, I plan to seek out those who knew him in the past, to pore over old records. If they ever did something, there must be traces left. I want the world to know what Master and the Qingshan Army accomplished," she said, sniffling.
Miss Xiao shook her head again.
"There's no need," she said. "Things are fine the way they are. Everyone knows they're heroes, that they've done great deeds. Isn't that enough? Digging up the past will change nothing."
She helped smooth Miss Jun's disheveled hair, which had been tousled from all the crying.
"There's still so much to be done. Look forward, don't let the past weigh you down."
Miss Jun nodded earnestly as she gazed at her.
"I'll do as you say," she replied.
Miss Xiao smiled and nodded in return.
"Then I'll leave everyone in your care," she said.
Huh? Leave everyone to me? And what about her?
Miss Jun stared at Miss Xiao in confusion.
"Where is your Master buried? I'd like to visit him," Miss Xiao said, a small smile playing on her lips once more. "He dared not meet me in life. Now I'll make sure he sees me, even in the afterlife—let him die of shame as a ghost."
Miss Jun chuckled through her tears, tears glittering like stars as she nodded emphatically.
"Alright, I'll take you there," she said.