As they were practically able to smell the hospital—
The engine sputtered.
"Don't you fucking break on me now!!!" Julia shouted, gripping the wheel as the car jerked slightly beneath them.
They had already been in the city, lights and buildings within reach—but a detour because of closed roads had dragged them back out.
Now they were surrounded by darkness again.
Trees. Silence.
Basically the middle of nowhere.
The engine coughed again, louder this time—
then died.
The car rolled weakly to the side of the road, gravel crunching under the tires as Julia steered it off.
Silence.
"…You've got to be kidding me," Julia muttered, turning the key once.
"Why did we stop? FIX THE FUCKING TRAIN YOU MORONS!" Ray shouted as he stuck his head out of the window.
Kate flinched slightly, immediately grabbing the back of his shirt and pulling him back inside. "Get your head IN!"
Julia tightened her grip on the wheel for a second, letting out a quiet breath through her nose. "…Of course," she muttered, eyes still on the road.
Julia got out of the car, the door shutting behind her as she walked around to the hood, popping it open and leaning in.
"Chewbacca isn't gay, you hear me!" Ray shouted toward the empty field, his voice carrying into the darkness.
Kate stared at him for a second, then grabbed the back of his shirt again, pulling him inside. "Get IN the car."
Julia paused for a brief second at the hood, glancing over before shaking her head lightly. "…Unbelievable."
"Get it moving! COME ON LADS! We don't have all day you fuckin bruts!" he shouted, suddenly slipping into a terrible Scottish accent.
Kate blinked at him, a small, disbelieving breath escaping before she grabbed his shirt and pulled him back inside. "…You're actually insane," she muttered, but there was a hint of amusement there.
Outside, Julia paused at the hood for a second, exhaling through her nose like she was trying not to react. "That accent was awful," she said, shaking her head as she got back to the engine.
"Ya man, them fuckin immigrants aye? fuckin hate them." he said, spitting out the window as he pulled out a cigarette with clumsy fingers.
Kate's head snapped toward him immediately, her expression shifting. "Okay—no, we're not doing that," she said, grabbing his wrist before he could light it.
Outside, Julia stilled for a second at the hood, then let out a slow breath through her nose. "…Jesus Christ," she muttered, rubbing her forehead before going back to the engine.
"See? They take our jobs, our wives... AND NOW EVEN THE FUCKING FAGS—"
Kate immediately smacked his arm, hard enough to cut him off. "Okay, shut up. Just—stop talking," she snapped, grabbing the cigarette out of his hand.
Ray blinked at her, thrown off for a second.
Outside, Julia paused again at the hood, letting out a sharp breath through her nose. "…Alright, that's enough," she called without looking back. "Next thing he says, I'm duct-taping his mouth."
"Queen, I told you my heart belongs to Kate. We won't do any bdsm!"
Kate froze for a second, then turned to him, her face immediately heating up. "…What the hell are you even talking about?" she said, shoving him back into the seat.
Outside, Julia paused at the hood for a second, a quiet huff of amusement slipping out before she shook her head. "Good to know you've got boundaries," she muttered, going back to the engine.
"I need to breaaath," he said, dragging it out as he made a rough Darth Vader breathing sound.
Kate blinked at him, then let out a short breath, shaking her head. "…You watched three movies and this is what you took from it?"
Outside, Julia paused for a second, a quiet snort escaping before she caught herself. "Accurate enough," she muttered, tapping something under the hood before leaning back in.
"I've had enough," he muttered, opening the door and stepping out, lighting a cigarette with shaky hands.
Kate turned immediately, leaning toward the open door. "Oh my God—get back in the car," she snapped, half-annoyed, half-worried.
Outside, Ray straightened slightly like he was in charge of something, gesturing toward Julia.
"Get a move on Lads, it ain't the fuckin holidays!"
Julia didn't even look at him at first, still focused under the hood—then slowly glanced up at him, one eyebrow raising. "…You done?" she asked calmly, like she was talking to a toddler.
"Where is the fucking manager of this shithole?!" he shouted into the darkness, looking around like someone was actually going to answer him.
Kate leaned out slightly from her seat, grabbing the back of his shirt again. "Get back in the car before you fall over," she snapped, though there was a breath of disbelief in it.
Julia glanced up from the engine this time, squinting at him for a second before shaking her head. "…You're yelling at trees," she said dryly, going back to what she was doing.
"What fucking trees? Are you blind? She's saying... Yeah man. Fuck her. Aye. Yeah get it moving lads, we need to get going soon!" he went on, gesturing at absolutely nothing like he was in the middle of a conversation.
Kate stared at him, then let out a short, disbelieving breath, covering her mouth for a second like she didn't know whether to laugh or lose it. "…You're arguing with the air," she said, grabbing his arm and trying to pull him back again.
Julia paused at the hood, glancing up at him with a faint smirk before shaking her head. "Ask them if they can fix the car while you're at it," she muttered, tapping something back into place.
"Yeah, she's talking about some cars. Aye she's fuckin delusional. Women, aye?" he added, nodding to himself like he'd just won the argument.
Kate stared at him for a second, then let out a short breath through her nose, shaking her head. "…Oh my God," she muttered, grabbing his arm again and tugging him toward the car.
Julia paused mid-movement under the hood, a quiet huff of amusement slipping out before she shook her head. "Yeah, I'm the delusional one," she muttered under her breath, going back to the engine.
"Aye, we gave them the rights to vote!" he burst out, laughing like an idiot as he gestured wildly.
Kate's eyes widened for a second before she smacked his arm again. "Okay—no, stop talking," she said, trying to pull him back toward the car, half-laughing, half-exasperated
Julia froze for a brief second under the hood, then let out a short breath that almost turned into a laugh. "…Alright, that one was bad," she muttered, shaking her head as she went back to work.
He looked at Kate for a second before slapping her hand gently.
"Get back into the fucking kitchen, Women. Aye, what the fuck they gonna do now? Aye man, Ayeee—"
Kate froze for half a second—
then hit him again, harder this time. "Okay, that's it," she snapped, grabbing his arm and dragging him toward the car, a disbelieving laugh slipping out.
Julia paused at the hood, glancing over at them with a raised brow before shaking her head. "…Yeah, he's not surviving this one," she muttered, not even trying to hide the amusement this time.
"Aye women, wha d you want?" he said, looking at her like he was actually waiting for an answer.
Kate stared at him for a second, then let out a sharp breath, pushing his shoulder. "I want you to shut up and get back in the car," she shot back, but there was a hint of a laugh slipping through.
Julia glanced over from the hood, watching them for a brief second before shaking her head lightly. "…He's committed, I'll give him that," she muttered, going back to the engine.
"Why the fuck are we on a field?" he demanded, already pulling at his shirt like he was about to square up with someone.
Kate blinked at him, then immediately stepped forward, grabbing his arm. "You are not fighting the field," she said, trying to hold him in place, half-laughing now.
And—
"Hoorah, Hoorah, we are the Billy Boys,
Hoorah, Hoorah, we are the Billy Boys,
Up tae yer knees in Finian blood - surrender or ye'll die.
We are the Brigtoon Billie Boys."
He started chanting it loudly into the darkness, completely committed.
Kate stared at him, then let out a breath that turned into a laugh she couldn't fully stop. "…Oh my God, you've lost it."
Julia slowly looked up from the engine this time, watching him for a second before shaking her head. "…I'm fixing this car before he starts a war," she muttered.
"LETS FUCKING GO LADS!" he shouted, shirtless now, taking a puff like he was about to charge into battle.
Kate just stared at him for a second, completely frozen—then let out a breath that turned into a laugh she couldn't stop. "Oh my God…" she muttered, stepping forward and grabbing his arm again.
"Hurrah! Hurrah! We are the Billy Boys;
Hurrah! Hurrah! We make a lot of noise;
We're up to here, we never fear - we all are Billy's sons,
We are the Glasgow Billy Boys."
He kept going, louder this time, fully committed to whatever this was.
Julia slowly straightened up from the hood, watching him for a second with a tired expression before shaking her head. "…I'm fixing this car before he recruits someone," she muttered, crouching back down.
And as if he switched back to a different century—
"Aye man, The fucking IRS aye?" he added, like it was part of the same conversation, taking another drag.
Kate blinked at him, the laugh still stuck in her throat as she shook her head. "…You just time-traveled," she muttered, still holding onto his arm so he wouldn't wander off.
Julia paused for a second under the hood, a quiet breath of amusement slipping out. "…That's a new one," she said, tapping something back into place.
"Why the fuck is the car not ready yet?!" he shouted, turning toward Julia. "What the fuck am I paying you for. YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?!"
Kate let out a short, incredulous laugh, still holding onto his arm as she tried to pull him back. "You're not paying her anything—get back here," she said, shaking her head.
Julia slowly looked up from under the hood this time, meeting his gaze for a second before raising an eyebrow. "…No," she said calmly, then went right back to the engine.
"Fascists. Hmm? I fucking hate them." he said, turning to look at Kate like he expected agreement.
Kate blinked at him, then let out a short breath, shaking her head with a faint, disbelieving smile still there. "…Pick a side," she muttered, keeping a hand on his arm so he wouldn't wander off again.
Julia paused briefly at the hood, glancing over with a small huff through her nose. "…Man's covering all ideologies tonight," she said, then went back to the engine.
"I mean they surely must have put some drugs in his drinks, he's been like this for three hours already," Kate said, looking at Julia, still keeping a grip on Ray's arm.
Ray turned his head slightly toward them, squinting like he was trying to follow the conversation.
Julia glanced up from the engine, wiping her hands lightly. "Nope," she said calmly. "That's just him."
"Drugs? No problem, two phone calls and I can get some," he said immediately, straightening a little like he'd just been given an assignment.
Kate stared at him, then let out a sharp breath, tightening her grip on his arm. "That was not an invitation," she said, shaking her head, a faint smile still slipping through.
Julia paused at the hood, glancing over briefly before exhaling through her nose. "…Of course you can," she muttered, going back to the engine.
"Eh, fuck this." he muttered, shrugging her off as he started walking off into the darkness, cigarette glowing faintly with each step.
Kate froze for a second, then immediately stepped after him. "Oh my God—where are you going?!" she called, half-laughing, half-exasperated, already moving to follow.
Julia straightened up from the hood, watching him go for a moment before exhaling slowly. "…Give me a second," she muttered, wiping her hands as she glanced between the car and the two of them.
Kate didn't stop, already catching up to him, grabbing his arm again. "You're not wandering off into a forest at night," she said, trying to pull him back.
Ray barely reacted, still moving forward like he had a destination only he understood.
Julia looked back at the engine one more time—
then shut the hood with a dull thud.
"…Yeah. This can wait," she said, stepping away from the car and heading after them.
The road fell quiet behind them, the car sitting dead under the dim glow of the night—
while ahead, Ray kept walking like the world made perfect sense.
Kate held onto him, not letting go this time.
And Julia followed a few steps behind, already tired of whatever was about to happen next.